Church narrates the events of the first Halo game, and explains that in between the first and second covenant invasions there was a civil war of Red vs. Blue, until the person typing his captions takes it in another direction.
Another early trailer released on drunkgamers.com, episode 0 only has a partial list of season 1 characters and features extensive combat and violence. Set to Limp Bizkit's "Break Stuff", this episode could not be included on the season 1 DVD for copyright reasons. However it is now included in the Bonus Features DVD, but again, for copyright reasons, it's not the Limp Bizkit song, but instead, it is set to Hollywood Undead's "Undead".
The first episode introduces five of the series' main characters. First introduced are Simmons and Grif as they ponder why they are in Blood Gulch, with a brief one-liner about Master Chief. The episode then cuts to Tucker and Church as they spy on Grif and Simmons and argue with each other over what the reds are doing. Back at the Red Base, Sarge interrupts the banter of Grif and Simmons and orders them down from the top of the base.
Sarge reveals the new jeep that has just arrived from Command and that a new recruit will be arriving soon. This serves as the introduction of the Warthog; Grif suggests calling it a Puma, as he does not think it looks much like a warthog. This episode reveals Sarge's disdain for Grif and Simmons' sycophantic nature toward Sarge. Meanwhile, on the cliff, Tucker and Church discuss the new vehicle and the tank they're to receive, with Tucker upset that "you can't pick up chicks in a tank".
At the Red Base, the new recruit, Donut, arrives. With Sarge at Command receiving orders, Grif and Simmons take the opportunity to haze Donut mildly, sending him "to the store" on a fool's errand for nonexistent supplies, such as elbow grease and headlight fluid. Meanwhile, the Blue Team receives two new additions: Private Caboose and a Scorpion-class tank. The end of the episode shows Donut approaching the Blue Base, mistaking it for the store.
Church talks with Tucker about his girlfriend back home. Attempting to join the conversation, Caboose accidentally calls Church's girlfriend a "slut". In response, Church assigns him a bogus flag-guarding duty, instructing him to wait for the "General". Still mistaking the Blue base for a store, and not wanting to return empty-handed, Donut helps himself to the flag. Caboose, mistaking Donut for the "General" Church spoke of, happily allows this to happen.
As Donut, who the Blues assume is Sarge (as both wear red armor), escapes with the flag, Church fires at him with a sniper rifle, missing each time. Church then orders Tucker to cut Donut off by using the teleporter; when Tucker fails to emerge on the other side, Church pursues on foot. Meanwhile, having heard the rifle shots, Grif eventually spots Church chasing Donut and decides to back up his teammate with the Warthog.
Church catches up to Donut, who he eventually realizes is not Sarge. His armor charred black, Tucker finally emerges from the teleporter, covered in "black stuff" (Probably soot) and startling the other two. When Donut insists that he is only a private, Tucker concludes that he has traveled back in time and has met a past version of Sarge. With the Warthog, Grif and Simmons then ambush Church and Tucker, pinning them behind a rock by using the Warthog's mounted chaingun. Realizing the situation, Caboose decides to use the tank to save his comrades.
While Church and Tucker lament their current situation, Caboose hops into the tank. The tank's artificial intelligence (AI) introduces itself as Sheila, and runs him through the tutorial mode. In an attempt to sneak up on the Blues, Grif and Simmons leave the Warthog and unsuccessfully try to go around the rock. Seeing that the Reds have abandoned their vehicle, Church and Tucker decide to grab it. The tank drives up behind the Reds and takes aim at Grif. This episode is followed by a "next time on Red Vs Blue" feature, which states "someone will die." and Sarge replies "I sure hope it's Grif."
Grif and Simmons flee from Caboose and Sheila; Grif abandoning Simmons after he had hatched a plan for a joint escape. Once Caboose manages to activate the auto-fire mechanism, the tank begins to systematically target and destroy everything present. Sheila subsequently hits the Warthog, sending it flying, but Grif and Simmons continue to flee and successfully evade the cannon fire. Church becomes the next target, however, and is killed when Caboose fails to deactivate Shiela's auto-fire operation; Tucker accuses Caboose of team-killing ("You shot Church, you team-killing f***tard!").
Caboose and Sheila continue to blast away at the Warthog, eventually propelling it onto the top of the Red Base. The Reds suddenly receive a radio call from Sarge, who is returning to the gulch. Learning of the situation, he flies in with air support, bombing Sheila out of action. Initially struggling to open the driver canopy, Caboose narrowly escapes death. (This is the first episode in which Caboose is referred to by name; previously, he had always been simply the "rookie".)
While Caboose cleans the "black stuff" off of Tucker's armor, Tucker calls Blue Command for reinforcements. Vic, their contact at Command, informs them that they will be sent a "freelancer" (mercenary) named Tex. Church's ghost appears in order to warn the Blue Team about Tex, who once slaughtered his entire squad at Sidewinder. As he disappears, he warns his teammates to prevent Tex from becoming involved. Tex soon arrives, wearing black "Special Ops" armor.
Lopez repairs the Warthog, while Grif takes the blame for its destruction. Meanwhile, at the Blue Base, Tex uses Caboose for target practice, while ignoring Tucker's attempts at friendly conversation. Tex suddenly decides to leave in order to infiltrate the Red base. During the attack, Tex sticks a plasma grenade to Donut's head and, in the ensuing chaos, also attacks Grif and Simmons.
Having knocked out Grif and Simmons after attacking Donut, Tex retrieves the Blue flag, but is surprised and captured by Sarge and Lopez. Church appears again at the Blue Base and reveals that Tex is actually female. Back at the Red Base, Donut, badly injured from the grenade explosion, is Airlifted out of the gulch for treatment. Tex eventually regains consciousness, and her voice modulator malfunctions, revealing her gender to the Reds.
Church tells Tucker and Caboose that Tex is not only female, but also his ex-girlfriend. Simmons and Grif are left to guard Tex. Meanwhile, Church continues to explain the situation to Tucker and Caboose, revealing that Tex's meanness and toughness are partially due to an AI in her armor. He then outlines a plan to rescue Tex.
To distract the Reds and deceive them into believing that the Blues have more Special Operations soldiers, Tucker and Caboose go through the teleporter to turn their armor black. When they attack the Red Base, Tucker's bickering with Caboose leads to Church admitting that "I can'tn believe I died for this war." Sarge mistakes Caboose's stupidity for tactical brilliance and summons Grif to help to repel this new attack, leaving Simmons alone guarding Tex. Church possesses Sarge's body and uses it to deceive Simmons and free Tex. However, Caboose, wishing to impress Church and make amends for killing him, shoots Sarge in the head with the sniper rifle, not knowing that Church was possessing Sarge's body; Caboose quickly blames Tucker for this.
Now both dead, Sarge and Church meet in the spiritual plane and talk. Sheila also appears here, but is quickly rebuked by Church, who is still angry at her for killing him. Church represents himself to Sarge as an angel and offers to lead him to heaven for a fee. The two swap complaints about their teammates until Grif revives Sarge by using cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR). Having forgotten his spiritual experience, Sarge initially thanks Simmons, but, upon learning that it was Grif who saved him, berates Grif for the illogicality of using CPR "for a bullet wound to the head." During when Sarge tells Grif off about the bizzare treatment, he shouts out "What were to happen when someone shoots me in the foot, you'd rub my neck with Aloe Vera?!"
A healed Donut returns from Red Command with new pink armor, which he insists is "lightish red". Sarge pokes fun at Donut by addressing him with feminine titles like "Madam","Strawberry Shortcake", "Pretty in Pink", "Barbie", and "Princess Peach". Sarge reveals that Lopez is actually a robot, which Grif has trouble with ("Did the fact he never talks get to you?" "I just thought he was a silent guy." "Not even that he drinks motor oil and sleeps standing up?" "I thought he was just trying to impress me"), and finally gets around to installing his voice card, but neglects to ground himself; static electricity damage to the card results in Lopez's inability to speak anything other than Spanish, which none of the Reds understand.
Tucker, Caboose, and Church convince Tex to help them, since they rescued her as a favor. Meanwhile, the Red Team is still trying to understand what Lopez is saying. While Tex begins to repair Sheila, Church goes to higher ground to spy on the Reds. Finding his dead body still on the cliff, he berates his teammates for having neglected to give him a proper burial.
The Blues continue to discuss what to do with Church's corpse. After an interlude demonstrating the Reds' boredom, the episode cuts back to Church, who worries that Tex will soon kill the entire Red Team. If successful, she would then leave, probably never to be seen again, before Church could remove the AI from her armor. To prevent this, Church decides to warn the Red Team of her impending attack. After Church leaves, Caboose spies Donut through a sniper rifle, exclaims that the Reds have a girl, and ineptly reveals Church's plan to Tex.
Church possesses Lopez's body to warn the Red Team, but finds that he can only speak Spanish. Caboose radios Church to inform him that Tex is almost ready. To Tucker's surprise, Caboose identifies himself as "O'Malley" and denies that he has ever confirmed his name as Caboose. Tex and Sheila then attack the Red Base. Sarge and Simmons attempt to repel them using the Warthog, but fail dismally. Ironically, it is Donut, still angry at being blown up earlier and being stuck in pink armor, who manages to kill Tex and disable Sheila by pitching a plasma grenade halfway across the gulch ("Man, that girl's got a really good arm!"). Church runs to Tex's aid, taking Lopez's body with him. Sarge mistakes this for a suicide charge by Lopez and lets him go. In her dying words, Tex thanks Church for ridding her of the AI. Meanwhile, Caboose adopts a deep, menacing voice, repeating that his name is "O'Malley".
Recap of Season 1 by Caboose
Three months after Tex's second attack on the Red Base, Medical Officer DuFresne ("Doc") arrives in Blood Gulch and contacts Blue Command for orders. He reports to the Blue Team to treat Tex, who has already died.[2] Church explains this to Doc, noting how his and Tex's bodies are both buried in front of Blue base. More helpfully, Caboose conveniently recaps the first season, explaining that Church is actually a ghost possessing Lopez's robot body, which has since been spray-painted cobalt. Caboose has also apparently begun to habitually utter death threats to Tucker in a deep, menacing voice. With nobody injured, Doc, on loan to both armies due to a lack of resources, prepares to visit the Red Team next, but the Reds suddenly attack.
With the Reds continuing their attack, Church and Tucker argue over defense strategy. Despite his protest that he is only a medic, DuFresne is officially nicknamed "Doc" by Church, who coerces him into helping by shooting Caboose's pinky toe. Meanwhile, the Reds run out of ammunition, due to Grif's failure to bring extra rounds, and consequently try to bluff the Blues into surrendering.
The two teams negotiate terms. The Reds demand Lopez's return, but Church is loath to surrender his new body; instead, he cedes Doc as a hostage. In return, Grif is forced to publicly humiliate himself, to the delight of all, particularly Sarge.
In order to repair Sheila, Church and Tucker try to determine how to activate the repair sequence in Church's robot body. Church only manages to find the time and temperature function, but Tucker discovers a small switch on Church's crotch. When flipped, it activates a strange beeping noise audible only to Church. Back at the Red Base, the Warthog begins to beep, and announces that its homing beacon has been activated.
Sarge reveals that he had put a remote control in the Warthog to allow Lopez to drive it remotely. Meanwhile, Church, who cannot stand the remote's beeping sound, begs Tucker and Caboose to deactivate it, but the switch breaks. While the other Blues continue trying to help, Church unwittingly causes the Warthog to scoop up Doc and then to attempt to kill Sarge. Having pinned the latter against the wall of Red Base, the Warthog slowly advances its firing machine gun toward his head as the episode ends.
Tucker disconnects the wire that had connected to Church's switch, thereby stopping the beeping noise, but also disabling Church's legs. The Warthog deactivates, sparing Sarge. Driving the Warthog, Doc attempts to unpin Sarge, but only manages to ram him into the wall twice more, and the Reds consequently decide to return him to the Blues. When Simmons and Grif arrive at the Blue Base, they see Tucker still kneeling in front of Church attempting to repair his legs, and quickly jump to conclusions.
The Blues refuse to accept Doc back from the Reds, fearing that he might be spying for them. The Reds eventually give up and return to their base. Doc attempts to return with them, but the Reds quickly ditch him, leaving him alone. Doc attempts to return once more to the Blues, but they remain suspicious of him and reject him again.
At the Red Base, Donut unsuccessfully attempts to engage Sarge in idle chatter while waiting for Simmons and Grif to return. The two eventually do arrive back and report their failure. Back at the Blue Base, with Church still immobile, Caboose suggests that Church leave his body, so that Lopez can make any repairs to himself and Sheila. After expressing surprise that such a clever idea had come from Caboose, Church and Tucker endorse the plan. Church leaves Lopez's body, but Tucker and Caboose pay no attention to Lopez, who flees before Church can reappear in spirit form. The Blues then chase after him. Meanwhile, the Reds spot Lopez running toward their base, and mistake him for a Blue. Sarge and Simmons prepare to counterattack, while Donut annoys Grif with more idle chatter.
Tucker and Caboose catch up to Lopez, who refuses to re-join them and instead orates at length about oppression and the advent of a new day for his people. Sarge and Simmons try to run him over with the Warthog having mistaken him for a Blue soldier, but Lopez activates the Warthog's remote destruction sequence in self-defense and, feeling betrayed, defects to the Blues.
* Released on April Fool's Day and the anniversary of Red vs. Blue's first episode, the episode begins with Grif and Donut crying over the graves of Sarge and Simmons, following the events of episode 28. Sarge appears and explains that he had only been napping, and had escaped by eating his way out of the ground with his spoon. Simmons' ghost appears to give the Red team a warning, but Donut shoots and kills him, explaining that Simmons' ghost is actually "Ol' Man Caboose". Tucker and Doc appear and announce their engagement, over which a French-speaking Lopez, apparently in love with Tucker, laments. Church awakes and realizes that this episode had apparently been merely a dream, when he finds himself confronted by the French-speaking Lopez.
The Blues convince Lopez to repair Sheila. As he works, Grif spies him through a sniper rifle and assumes that there is a "new" Blue soldier. The Red Team discusses various explanations. Donut manages to guess the truth, but no one believes him. Once Lopez finishes repairs, he and Sheila fall in love with each other, much to Caboose's dismay. To disrupt the odd love triangle, Church attempts to possess Lopez again, but is unsuccessful; instead, it is Tex who suddenly appears in Lopez's body.
While Caboose talks to a now-confused Sheila, Tex reveals to the rest of the Blues that she had been watching them for some time and had noticed Caboose's aggressive behavior. She explains that her former artificial intelligence (AI), O'Malley, had jumped via radio to Caboose when it had assessed that she was unlikely to survive her second attack on the Red Base at the end of season 1. Using Lopez's body as a bargaining chip, she asks Church's help in killing the AI. Meanwhile, at the Red Base, Sarge realizes that the Reds no longer have anyone with an ability to repair things and, after some arguments, prepares to turn Simmons into a cyborg.
Tex explains that everyone in Blood Gulch must turn off their radios so that O'Malley will be unable to jump into someone else's armor when flushed out of Caboose. The ghosts of Church and Tex jump into Caboose's mind to find O'Malley. They meet Caboose's mental image of Tucker, as well as Caboose's inner self. The real Tucker and Lopez take Sheila to the Red Base to convince the Reds to turn off their radios.
In Caboose's mind, Tex and Church meet Caboose's mental image of the latter — vulgar, insulting, and under the impression that he is "Caboose's best friend". At the Red Base, Donut and Grif search near the Warthog for a part needed for Simmons' cyborg operation and begin to panic when they see Sheila, Tucker, and Lopez approaching. The episode ends with Tucker having difficulty in trying to brake Sheila.
Donut flees from the approaching Blues, but, still unable to brake, Tucker runs over Grif and the Warthog with Sheila. Tucker radios the Red Team to tell them to turn off their radios. Initially they refuse, so Lopez sings a love song about Sheila over the radio until they relent. Meanwhile, Church and Tex meet Caboose's mostly incorrect mental images of the Red Team. O'Malley suddenly kills Caboose's mental image of Church — thus making Caboose completely forget who Church is — and the real one and Tex subsequently give chase. Eventually trapping O'Malley, the two, hoping that Tucker had been successful, shoot him, chasing him out of Caboose's mind. Without any means of jumping to another armor, O'Malley signals "cockbites" in Morse code as he gradually fades. However, in a scene deleted from the DVD he detects one last radio transmission from Doc, who is attempting to contact Blue Command, and takes possession of him.
Disoriented from the events of the previous episode, Doc discovers a hovercraft in a cave and consults with Vic, who proves to be unhelpful. Meanwhile, Tex has disappeared, and Grif awakes from surgery to find that Sarge has replaced most of his organs, which had been damaged in the accident with Sheila, with those left over from Simmons' cyborg operation.
With O'Malley having previously killed Caboose's mental image of Church in episode 33, Church unsuccessfully tries to re-establish Caboose's memory of him. At the Red Base, Simmons chides Grif for continuing his old unhealthy habits in his rebuilt body. Sarge announces the need to re-acquire Lopez, as his memory contains secret plans from Red Command.
Caboose is jealous of the relationship between Lopez and Sheila, who are now refusing to work due to perceived poor treatment by the soldiers — that is, being repeatedly blown up, possessed or left outside to rust. Eventually, they consider forming their own robot army. At the Red Base, Sarge sends Grif and Donut out to try to spy on the Blue Team. While on the mission, Grif, who cannot stand Donut's childish behavior, tricks him into exploring the caves by himself. Donut then spots Doc and O'Malley talking to each other, in the manner of Gollum and Sméagol in The Lord of the Rings. Overhearing O'Malley's evil plans, Donut tries to return to his base, only to become lost and eventually captured at the Blue Base. As a note, "Nut. Doonut." — a reference to James Bond's introduction, "Bond. James Bond." and use of two 0's in his agent number, 007 — is the episode title as listed on the Rooster Teeth website and on the Red vs. Blue: Season Two DVD. However, the six versions downloadable from the Internet show different titles, each another reference to the James Bond series (specifically, the six starring Sean Connery): "Blunderball" - Thunderball, "Dr. No-No" - Dr. No, "You Only Spawn Twice" - You Only Live Twice, "From Blood Gulch With Love" - From Russia with Love, "Dummies Are Forever" - Diamonds Are Forever, and "Pinkfinger" - Goldfinger.
The Blues attempt to interrogate Donut, without much success. Church then possesses Donut and, using him as a hostage and a puppet, negotiates with the Reds to have them to build new robot bodies for himself and Tex. While Tucker continues to haggle with Sarge over the specifications for the robots, Church leaves Donut's body and returns to Blue Base to find that Lopez and Sheila are missing.
Church discovers a note from Sheila and Lopez confirming that they have started a robot army. At the Red Base, Sarge unveils the two new robots; one contains a microphone to spy on the Blues, and the other contains a bomb. The Reds and the Blues meet in the center of the gulch to execute the exchange. Sheila and Lopez also arrive to conquer the Blues; Lopez becomes angry at seeing new robots brought into the conflict, and rushes forward to attack. A tense Mexican standoff results, and Sarge tries to call an air strike. However, due to crossed communication channels, Tucker intercepts his message, and realizes that Vic is apparently working for both Red and Blue Commands. While Church possesses one of the robots, Tucker tries to alert everyone that Red and Blue are the same, but is hit by a rocket before anyone can understand him. His attacker is apparently Doc, possessed by O'Malley, who flies around on the hovercraft, firing rockets at will. In the ensuing chaos, O'Malley takes Lopez as a hostage, announces his intention to conquer the universe, and disappears through the Red Team's teleporter. The Reds and Blues call a temporary truce to pursue Doc, whom the Blues need to heal Tucker, and to retrieve Lopez, whom the Reds need for the plans his memory contains. Donut, Sheila, Tucker, and one of the robots remain behind in the gulch while everyone else follows through the teleporter. Tex soon surfaces in the remaining robot body. Unfortunately, due to a teleporter malfunction, the pursuing Reds and Blues end up separated and scattered across different places. Simmons ends up in a huge area full of teleporters, Church and Grif end up captured by Max Gain, a member of the Red team in Sidewinder, and Sarge and Caboose appear in the stream in Battle Creek.
Donut tries to coax an injured Tucker into getting up, conveniently providing a recap of the end of the previous season in the process. Sarge and Caboose find themselves in Battle Creek, in the midst of perpetually respawning Red and Blue soldiers ("Grunts"), who engage in a complex action sequence that lampoons multiplayer game sessions in Halo. Meanwhile, Simmons is lost in a place full of teleporters (the Chiron TL34 map), and Grif and Church have been imprisoned by the Red Team on Sidewinder.
In an unknown location, Wyoming, another freelancer, interrogates a soldier named Phil, but is interrupted by a phone call hiring him for another job. Meanwhile, still in Battle Creek, Sarge and Caboose steal the Red and Blue flags in an attempt to coerce the teams to help them find their way out. When that fails, Caboose recalls O'Malley's possession, unleashes his angry side, and single-handedly eliminates both teams. Simmons then retrieves them via a teleporter.
O'Malley calls Vic and reveals his plot to eliminate both the Red and Blue Teams and to rule the universe. He also informs Vic that, to preserve Vic's secret, he has hired an assassin to kill Tucker, the only person who knows that Blue Command and Red Command are the same. Back in Blood Gulch, Tex tells Tucker that Wyoming, the assassin hired to kill him, is a freelancer from the same experimental program as Tex, and, like Tex, he had been enhanced with artificial intelligence. Still in the teleporter hub with Simmons and Caboose, Sarge contacts Donut to inform him of the "Blue plot" and that Tucker's idea that Red and Blue are the same is nothing but a deception. Wanting to help to find Church, Caboose unwittingly presses a button that activates the bomb in Church's robot body. On Sidewinder, Church consequently lets out a large belch, and his stomach begins to tick.
Simmons reprograms a teleporter and advises Donut on how to reprogram the Reds' teleporter in Blood Gulch. On Sidewinder, Wyoming kills all of the Reds and tells Church and Grif that he is leaving them to starve to death. Meanwhile, everyone else emerges from the teleporter on Sidewinder, Tucker covered with "black stuff" (which luckily prevents Wyoming from recognizing and shooting him). While Donut and Caboose clean off Tucker's armor, the jail cell holding Church and Grif mysteriously opens. Wyoming spots Tucker from afar and aims at him; Tex ambushes him, but O'Malley, Wyoming's employer, ambushes her.
O'Malley activates Lopez's "secret weapon", a weather control device that Sarge had almost finished. The Red and Blue Teams join forces to confront O'Malley, who begins to wreak havoc with his rocket launcher. Simmons manages to teleport the Battle Creek players to Sidewinder and convinces them to attack and defeat O'Malley. Lightning from Lopez's weather device hits Church, thereby damaging the bomb in his body. When Sarge is subsequently unable to disable the bomb, Tucker tries to destroy Church with O'Malley's rocket launcher before Church explodes, but Wyoming snipes the launcher out of Tucker's hand. The bomb explodes and, due to the damage received from the lightning, destroys the present as well, sending both teams (except Church) to the future (Halo 2). Donut attempts to direct a play to explain this sequence of events to Tucker. The group reasons that they were blown into the future because they were standing in front of Church; Tucker deduces that Church must have been blown into the past. Meanwhile, on a Marathon 2 map, Church appears, wondering what has happened.
Exploring the wasteland in the future, Grif, Simmons, and Tucker discuss various Hollywood post-apocalyptic clichés. The group finds a jeep and bickers over it. Tucker is bent on finding Church, but Sarge asserts that Church, along with the group's enemies, had died in the explosion. Meanwhile, a cackling O'Malley discovers Lopez's disembodied head on a beach.
While Sarge and Donut try to repair the Warthog, Grif, Tucker, and Simmons argue about styling the jeep in order to attract women. Tucker still maintains that Red and Blue are the same, but no one believes him. Meanwhile, O'Malley, Doc, and Lopez inspect some real estate (Zanzibar in Halo 2); O'Malley and Doc argue over its viability and over how the computer inside should be used. This episode marks the final appearance of the weapon reticle in footage filmed with Halo 2; going forward, the Rooster Teeth team has exploited a gameplay bug to remove it.
(Episode 45.9) Available only to sponsors or on the Season 3 DVD and produced solely by Gustavo Sorola while the rest of the production crew had been out of town. This episode continues or replaces the events of episode 45, though is non-canon, and features paper cutouts as characters while portraying Simmons as a hero.
Having moved into the fortress, O'Malley, Doc, and Lopez repair the turret emplacements and meet The Red Zealot, who believes that he has found a holy temple. Exploiting the Red Zealot's religious fervor, O'Malley deceives him into performing menial tasks for him. O'Malley then catches a glimpse of Tex, who is spying on him, but on subsequent glances, sees nothing. Elsewhere, Sarge, Grif, and Simmons discuss the results of Grif and Simmons' failed reconnaissance, and, while attempting to push the Warthog out of a ditch, receive a transmission from Tex informing them of O'Malley's location.
The Reds, Tucker, and Caboose meet with Tex on the beach near O'Malley's fortress, where she reveals her plan to destroy both O'Malley and the entire base by planting a bomb inside. Tex has scouted the base and found the exact location to place the bomb. However, citing the bomb's immense weight, she has someone else carry it; of the others, only Caboose can lift it. Meanwhile, the Red Zealot informs O'Malley and Lopez that a crowd of people is gathering on the beach. Upon learning that Lopez is inside with O'Malley, the Reds balk at destroying the base, but Tex refuses to risk losing her chance to defeat O'Malley. Tucker solves the problem by reminding the Reds that, since Tex is a mercenary, they can simply hire her to help them to retrieve Lopez. Tex agrees to this arrangement for a future favor.
After discarding two of Sarge's suicidal battle plans, the Blood Gulch group invades O'Malley's fortress and are pinned down by mini-gun turrets manned by the Red Zealot and Lopez's head. Tex snipes Lopez's head off his turret, but the Zealot pins her down with gunfire. Simmons and Grif manage to enter the base and move on to look for O'Malley. Tucker, who had fallen into a hole near the windmill, finds a mysterious sword, and uses it to kill the Red Zealot. Meanwhile, carrying the bomb inside the fortress, Caboose mistakes Tex's "X" marking for a plus sign. He continues on and stumbles across a computer, from which he hears the voice of Church.
In the past, Church (as a Marathon character) finds a computer terminal, which answers some questions for him. Church is in the housing facility for The Great Weapon, which The Great Destroyer will use to bring Great Doom to the galaxy in 1,856 years. When computer describes The Great Destroyer as a "blue being" who "will be known as the stupidest life form in the universe", Church assumes that it must be referring to Caboose. 1,856 years in the future, Caboose asks Sarge to look at the computer terminal, which is playing a message from Church. The message tells Caboose not to touch anything, lest he bring about Great Doom. Specifically, Caboose should avoid bringing the "glowing sword weapon thingy" into the base, as the place will lock its doors. Tucker and Donut stroll in with the sword, and the base locks down, with Caboose's bomb already counting down inside it. In the past, Church finishes recording his message, but, deciding that it will not suffice, asks the terminal to transport him to Blood Gulch so that he can prevent the whole fiasco. While telling jokes to pass the time, the terminal begins the millennium-long process of researching and building a teleporter.
The computer completes the teleporter and reveals its name to be Gary. Church teleports back to Blood Gulch shortly before the series begins. The moment Church is teleported away, however, another Church runs in and tells Gary to teleport him to Sidewinder instead, because he screwed everything up. Back at Blood Gulch prior to the events of episode 1, this Future Church decides to try and prevent the death of Tex, which would prevent O'Malley from escaping and causing the events leading up to The Great Doom. He finds, however, that he either has no effect, or causes the events by his presence in the first place: * Lopez's legs malfunction because Future Church, in trying to get him a larger switch, kicked dirt into the switch Sarge decided to use when building the robot. * Prior to episode 1, the Blues were under the charge of Captain Butch Flowers. Knowing Flowers would die, Future Church gives him aspirin, but Flowers dies of a heart attack due to an allergy of the medicine. Tucker, at this point in Blue armor, takes Flowers' cyan armor. * Donut, in rookie Red armor, finds the Blue Base and steals the flag because Future Church, failing to recognize him outside of pink armor, gives him directions. * Future Church attempts to prevent the death of his past self, which would stop Tex from arriving in Blood Gulch. He awakens the tank and runs through her protocols to try and prevent her from shooting him later. She refers to herself as Phyllis, and overrides her name when Church addresses her as Sheila. Future Church turns off a "friendly fire protocol," which in actuality prevents friendly fire; thus the original Church's death takes place because of Future Church. * Finding a sniper rifle on the corpse of his past self, Future Church picks it up but drops it later. Caboose finds it, and uses it to shoot Sarge. * Attempting to kill Donut to stop him from killing Tex, Future Church fails and retreats to the cave, frustrated. Caboose
The funeral of Church and Tex, prior to the events of Season 2, takes place. Future Church continues his attempts to change things for the better, but still ends up causing the disasters he was trying to prevent: * Future Church, posing as Captain Flowers, contacts Vic to try and get him to tell the Reds to get rid of Doc, to stop the medic from being infected by O'Malley. Vic misconstrues his words to believe the Red and Blue teams have merged, but that the soldiers must not know. Thus, the Red and Blue Commands merge. * To stop them from making a robot army, Future Church tries to dissuade Lopez and Sheila from the idea. Instead, he gives them the idea himself, and they decide to build and hide a rocket-launching vehicle in the caves. * Future Church decides to fix the Red teleporter before it malfunctions and sends the characters to various places, just as Sheila rams the base. Future Church is knocked out, and the teleporter begins giving off sparks. * During the Mexican standoff where O'Malley appears, Future Church finds a rocket launcher and aims to take the villain out. Instead, he shoots and injures Tucker from behind, and again decides to retreat to the caves.
Future Church watches Tex, Donut and Tucker leave for Sidewinder, and soon follows them. He talks first to Sheila before leaving for Sidewinder, asking her to do him an inaudible favor. Once at Sidewinder, Future Church finds his past self and Grif in prison, and opens their cell by pressing a button in another room. He attempts to contact Tex, who is currently being held by O'Malley and Wyoming, before another Church approaches him. This new Church claims that he fails to stop the bomb, and gets blown back in time again, only to return to Sidewinder. He then tells Future Church to "meet us at the top of the ramp." The bomb goes off, and Future Church is sent back in time. As seen in Episode 50, as soon as Church is teleported by Gary to Blood Gulch, Future Church arrives and asks to be sent to Sidewinder because he screwed everything up. Just then, more Churches arrive, each having been unsuccessful to stop the bomb, and thus sent back in time to Gary. These Churches all meet in Sidewinder, and explain to the newest Church how their various plans failed. It is determined that whichever Church did each one of these plans already must be the successful Church, since he isn't sent back in time again. This Church gives up on trying to correct everything, instead freeing Tex, and rejoining the Blood Gulch soldiers before the explosion, thus being sent into the future. Church emerges at O'Malley's base, just in time to ask Gary, who remains there, to stop the bomb from detonating. He then prepares to explain the events he went through.
Caboose asks Church why he did not try to save himself, Tex, or create millions of copies of himself trying to defuse the bomb when he was in the past. Church warns Tucker that Gary said the sword was dangerous, but Tucker blows it off. Meanwhile, the Reds covertly meet to discuss a distress signal on the Red Army's open channel, which was picked by the radio in the Warthog. This episode features an unknown character ducking behind a rock.
The Blues watch the Reds play with their radio, at a loss for a motive. Caboose explains that they are talking about the distress signal, an explanation he got from "Andy". The Reds are discussing the distress signal, which Simmons cannot pinpoint due to the substandard equipment. Caboose introduces Tucker and Tex to "Andy": the deactivated bomb. Predictably, it won't talk to them. However, Gary the terminal knows Andy very well. This episode also features another distant character.
Andy starts talking to the rest of the Blue Team, and is quickly revealed to be rude and volatile. Caboose and the Blues try to calm him down so he won't explode. Meanwhile, the Reds are planning on escaping in the Warthog to find the source of the distress signal. Grif is sent to find out what the Blues are doing, only to be confused when he finds them trying to soothe Andy. Unbeknownst to all, O'Malley has assembled a huge army of robot Lopez duplicates outside the base, which he orders to kill everyone and retrieve the "device".
The Reds puzzle over why the Blues were talking to the bomb, and Sarge concludes that they are trying to re-arm it as part of a pre-emptive attack strategy. O'Malley's army turns out to be extremely slow-moving: Lopez built them that way so they would win in exactly 24 hours, since O'Malley said he wanted a day of victory. Meanwhile, the Blues have finally managed to calm Andy down, but are interrupted by explosions and plasma fire as O'Malley's attack begins. Believing that the Blues are attacking, Sarge orders the Reds into battle.
O'Malley berates Lopez for creating such a slow moving army. In revenge, Lopez tricks O'Malley into insulting himself in Spanish. The Reds flee the battle in the Warthog to track down the distress signal. Donut is left behind to discourage pursuit, but manages to steal O'Malley's hovercraft and rejoin his teammates. Tex steals Tucker's sword so she can fight the robots; Church decides that she must be The Great Destroyer from the prophecy. An unseen figure wipes out O'Malley's army with a volley of plasma grenades, and then attacks a startled O'Malley. Lopez's fate is left unrevealed. Shortly after Donut catches up with the other Reds in a cave, Simmons and Grif track the signal out of the cave, finding themselves back in Blood Gulch (Coagulation in Halo 2). This discovery is accompanied by a lengthy scream of "Noooooooooo!" from Grif. Back at the fortress again, Church and Tucker admire the slaughtered robots and congratulate Tex, but she admits she's not responsible: she was in the basement, trying to get the sword to work. Church rushes over to Gary to question him about the identity of The Great Destroyer, unaware that an Alien is sneaking up on him.
Grif is still despairing over being back in Blood Gulch, despite the others' attempts to shut him up. Meanwhile, back at Zanzibar, Tex, Tucker, and Caboose discover that Church is back in ghost form again. Church explains that he was literally scared out of his body after being ambushed by the Alien in the last episode, though his attempts to explain this are repeatedly interrupted by Caboose's stupidity and Tucker's attempt to hijack the flashback and showcase his sexual fantasies; Tucker wisely ends quickly so as to avoid getting his head blown off by Tex. Tucker uses the catch phrase "Bow-chicka-bow-wow" in this episode for the first time, much to Church's annoyance.
In Blood Gulch, the Red Team takes potshots at Grif with their sniper rifles in order to get him to stop screaming. Grif eventually relents, and the team prepares to investigate their old base. Sarge gives a speech about alertness, completely unaware that Sheila is roaming around behind him. Meanwhile, the Blues prepare to hunt the Alien that scared Church. When asked about the Alien's whereabouts, Andy proves unhelpful, merely offering insults instead. Suddenly, the Blues spot the Alien, causing them to fire wildly and run away in panic - with the exception of Caboose, who simply asks, "Did we win?". The episode ends with Andy laughing and mocking the sudden retreat.
Simmons tries to convince Sarge that he did see a tank behind him. Donut concurs, but Sarge disregards his testimony because he is "impressionable", and Grif simply denies it in order to make Simmons look bad. Meanwhile, the Blues insult each other over their previous panicked, wild fire attack on the alien. Tex decides to go in alone and dashes into the complex while the rest debate Church's heroism (or lack thereof). Upon entering the complex, Tex is immediately cut down and re-appears in ghost form. Back at Blood Gulch, Simmons and Donut get into a fistfight/hijacking match over the hovercraft, which Simmons wants to use to find the tank. Believing that Simmons has gone insane, Sarge promotes Grif to his "Number Two" man, but Grif quickly loses the position due to his laziness. On the Blue side, Tucker suggests that Caboose goes into the complex and speak to the alien. Church likes the idea because he and Tex could sneak in and retrieve their bodies while the Alien is chewing on Caboose. Caboose enters, sees Andy, and asks whether he has seen the Alien. As he finishes his sentence he sees the Alien's shadow on the ground.
Simmons has completely fallen out of favor with Sarge, and in fact is now ordered by the judge — Donut wearing a judge's wig — to stand at least 200 yards away from the rest of the Reds. As a result, Sarge begins to hold a competition to determine who will be his new right-hand man. Grif is automatically disqualified for being Grif, which puts the competition down to Donut, Lopez's old wrench, and a skull found nearby. Simmons laments the ruination of his life, and concedes to himself that maybe he did imagine seeing the tank. Sheila's voice is suddenly heard right behind him, begging to differ. Meanwhile, back at Zanzibar, the Blues are startled to discover that Caboose has actually managed to tame the Alien, thanks to his kindness — or, more likely, that the alien found him unpalatable, and no longer wants to eat him or anything that looks like him. The Blues insult the alien while trying to understand its language, which seems to consist entirely of blarg and honk.
At the Zanzibar fortress, Church asks Gary whether he can translate the Alien's speech for them. Gary reveals the alien's race were his creators, but unfortunately he knows virtually nothing about the race because he was programmed entirely with knowledge of the Shisno. The Blues continue to try translating what the alien is saying, and eventually reach the conclusion that the Alien's name might be "Honk Honk". Church even believes that he figured out that blarg means yes in the alien's language, though Tex argues that it could also mean no. Meanwhile at Blood Gulch, the Reds continue Sarge's right-hand-man contest, which Donut ultimately wins. Simmons has become despondent and suicidal, and Sheila (whom Simmons believes is a figment of his imagination) tries to cheer him up by leading him back to her home, a reconstructed Blue base. Sheila reveals that she has lost many of her memories due to circuit degradation over the years. She knows that her final mission was to protect the Blue Base from the enemy of the Blues, and though she has forgotten their identity, she vaguely remembers it was an army of a different color. Simmons, immediately realizing that his life is in danger, unsuccessfully tries to convince Sheila that the enemy was space pirate cowboy monkey ninjas who were trying to round up some cattle.
The episode opens up again at the Zanzibar fortress as Tucker and Caboose are attempting to teach English to the Alien. Church and Tucker get into a small debate on whether they should teach the alien English or learn his language. Tucker is convinced that they should teach English to the Alien and even had created some visual aids. As it turns out, Tucker was able to get the writing supplies from Caboose's gun which apparently contained crayons instead of bullets. However, when Tucker activates his energy sword to cut the poster boards, the Alien jumps over and attacks him. Despite Tucker's cries for help, Church watches the Alien as it attacks Tucker in order to "evaluate" his fighting style. Back at Blood Gulch, Simmons is at the Blue base with Sheila close by. He attempts to contact the Red Base, but is greeted with Donut on the line, who tries to impersonate an answering machine. Simmons attempts to get Sarge on the line, but Donut, under instructions from an off-screen Sarge, denies Simmons from communicating with Sarge, even after he informed Donut that he had captured the Blue Base and Sheila. Eventually Donut hangs up on Simmons, but not before letting Simmons know that he really enjoys his new job as Sarge's right-hand man. Simmons then declares that he will kill all the Reds and tells Sheila to "lock and load". Back at Zanzibar, Tex talks with Andy. Tex, through some bluffing and mild threats of blowing up Andy with a remote detonator, convinces him to help her translate what the alien is saying. This, however, doesn't stop Andy from making rude jokes about Tex acting more male than female.
At Zanzibar, Tex and Church argue over whether to let Andy translate what the Alien is saying. Church is concerned that Andy's lack of manners could upset the alien even further. Eventually, Church relents and agrees to this arrangement out of his curiosity as to what could happen. During this whole conversation the Alien is still beating Tucker to a pulp. At Blood Gulch, the Reds are fracturing even more as Donut is unsuccessful in asking Grif to return to their base. Grif refuses, believing Sarge simply wants him to do work, and not just eat ice cream. In reality, Sarge did want Grif to help him eat some of the ice cream that he found. Simmons — now painted mostly blue — plays out his vengeance on the Reds. At first he attempts to cause the Reds to be jealous of him; he soon gives up and orders Sheila to attack the Red base. At Zanzibar, with Andy acting as a translator, the Alien reveals that he came to retrieve the energy sword that Tucker found. It was part of the sacred quest that he was on, but the sword has now locked itself to Tucker as he was the first to find and use it; this explains why Tex was unable to use the sword. As a result, Tucker must join the Alien on its quest. If Tucker refuses, the alien will destroy the base and slaughter everyone in it.
On Zanzibar's beach, Tucker finds himself as an involuntary sword-bearer as he is forced to partake of the sacred quest that has some resemblance to The Lord of the Rings. After the Alien explains the lands that he and Tucker will travel through, Church informs Tucker (the fighter) that Caboose (the wizard), Andy (the archer), and the alien (the healer) will be the team that goes out on this quest. Though this quest is pretty much a suicide mission, Tucker does warn Church that he better hope that Tucker survives, or he will be forced to take care of any children that Tucker might have. At Blood Gulch, Simmons' attack on the Red Base continues. However, he has been so indoctrinated with hatred of the Blues that all of his insults and attack orders confuse the words Red and Blue. Grif, still watching Simmons and Sheila fire upon the Red Base, convinces Simmons to come back to the Red Base. Despite the selfishness of Grif's reasons, Simmons admits he misses the old days. However, just as he is about to go back to the Reds, Sarge sees that Simmons has painted his armor mostly blue and is unable to accept him back. Sarge says he can understand many things, even the reasons for attacking one's own base out of anger, but to see one of his former soldiers wear the colors of the Blues, is unacceptable.
On the beach of Zanzibar, Church tries to give some last-minute advice and parting words to Tucker and the rest of the quest-team before they begin their trip. Tex apparently has a strong attraction to masculine objects, whether it was Tucker's energy sword, or the Alien's rather muscular naked body, or specifically one part of it. Church attempts to say some encouraging words to Tucker, but this fails as Tucker frustrates Church's attempts. As the team leaves, Church remarks to Tex that he is surprised that she did not go with the rest of the group as quests usually have a goal of riches or power at the end of them. As he finishes his sentence, he assumes correctly that Tex has left. Back at Blood Gulch, Simmons decides to take Grif back to the blue base as a hostage. After some prodding from Grif about not being "properly treated" as a hostage — in other words, Simmons wasn't being mean to him — Simmons starts hitting him. Simmons pushes Grif into what he thought was a hole, but it turns out to be part of a gravity lift that keeps putting Grif behind Simmons. The episode ends with Simmons getting frustrated each time he pushes Grif into the hole.
Having arrived at the Great Burning Plains (Burial Mounds), the Sacred Quest team prepares to perform one of the many tasks that the hero of the Alien's prophecy is supposed to do. As the team argues and bickers, it is revealed by the Alien and Andy that they know what Earth is, and that they don't have a favorable opinion about the planet. Apparently, the Alien's race invented the telephone a thousand years before humans did, which, however, fails to impress Tucker, due to the limited verbal communication of the alien race. In the meantime, Caboose scouts ahead and claims to recognize the area. The Alien warns the group that they are about to encounter a monster, which they have to conquer by distracting it and hitting it's weak spot. Tucker is unmotivated about the plan, even to the extent of having paid no attention to the details of the monster's weak spot. After they finally leap down the last ridge, they see the skull of the monster, which Tucker realizes is that of a cow, with a broken skull as the only visible remains, possibly due to one of the Red and Blue Teams' scavenging missions in season 3 (episodes 43–46); Caboose confirms to Andy and the Alien that they had been there before. Back at Blood Gulch, Sarge assumes that Grif is being tortured by Simmons, a concept he's very satisfied with. Donut, however, in his current status as manager, breaks the harmony by proposing bureaucratic changes. Sarge decides that he can't take this anymore, but is reluctant to rescue Grif - a situation he just can't find the name for, but finally settles with conundrum.
Sarge and Donut enter the Blue Base to rescue Grif without encountering any perimeter defense, such as Sheila. Inside the base, Grif is still playing with the gravity lift that Simmons originally mistook for a hole. As Grif runs to and fro on it, both Simmons and he question how Sheila was able to upgrade the base without any tools or arms. Simmons then concludes that if he could somehow determine the real truth, he could reconcile with Sarge. At this point, Sarge intervenes, knocking Grif out. Before Sarge can execute Simmons for treason, however, Church appears and knocks Sarge out from behind. Church mistakes the mostly blue Simmons as a Blue soldier native to the future. The Sacred Quest team finds itself in a swamp (Backwash), where Andy says they can rest and sleep for a while. However, with strong allusions to The Lord of the Rings, Caboose notices that something has been following them. Andy confirms that this Gollum-like creature has been following them since the beginning of their journey. Later that night, Tucker awakes to find that he is apparently alone in the swamp. As he begins to look for his companions, the mysterious figure approaches Tucker from behind (as he is being used as bait). The Alien ambushes the intruder, who turns out to be Tex. She then joins the team after being promised the sword upon completion of the quest.
In the basement of the Blue Base in Blood Gulch, Simmons covertly talks to Donut about keeping his true identity hidden from Church. Donut, however, does not actually recognize Simmons. Church soon appears after dropping Sarge's body into the basement, and the three proceed to load Sarge and Grif into the jeep. Meanwhile, the Sacred Quest team reaches the edge of the Great Freezing Plains (Containment) that the Alien had mentioned. This particular part of the quest requires that the hero gain access to the temple ahead, which is heavily guarded by a large number of guards. With this information, Tucker wants to retrace their steps to recover a mitten that Caboose lost, but Tex takes the initiative and decides to attack the temple guards under the protection of her cloaking device. Back at Blood Gulch, Church and Simmons drop off Donut and the still-unconscious Sarge and Grif outside the Red Base. Church suggests to Donut that he lie to Sarge and Grif when they wake up, making them think he rescued them. Donut asks what Church wants, based on the precedent set by the Blues' surrender in 22. Church, considering the Reds' failed rescue mission not so much a surrender as a "total ass-kicking", decides to keep the Reds' jeep, causing Donut much despair. As Sarge begins to recover, the episode ends with Simmons knocking him out again in order to protect the secrecy of his identity.
Back at the Freezing Plains, Tex attempts her covert attack inside the temple guarded by the Red and Blue Grunts who first appeared at Battle Creek. Sneaking up behind a blue Grunt, she attempts to knock him out, without much success. Although she has to spend time beating and shooting him, the others pay no attention to his exclamations of pain and complaint. It is only when Tucker yells in reaction to their aloofness that they begin to fire. Now under attack, the rest of Sacred Quest team runs for cover while Tex kills the remaining soldiers in the temple. In Blood Gulch, Donut, apparently having taken Church's advice to lie and portray himself as a hero, is finishing his debriefing with Sarge and Grif. While the Reds discuss and mock Donut's contrived story, Church briefs Simmons on each Red Team soldier, finishing with a critical opinion of Simmons. His ego thus wounded, the latter runs back to Blue Base to cry. Once out of Simmons' earshot, Sheila asks Church whether he realizes that he had been talking to Simmons. Church confirms that he does.
In Blood Gulch, Church relishes the fact that the Blue Team now possesses all three vehicles within the canyon. Sheila, however, is unhappy and begins to show signs of jealousy and annoyance — this portion was moved to the Deleted Scenes section of the DVD. Back at the Freezing Plains, Andy frantically orders Tucker to open gates of the temple by using his sword as the key. The doors open, revealing an alien ship. The Alien rushes towards the ship, dropping Andy in the snow. Tex and Tucker become agitated, as the Alien had never disclosed — not even to Andy — that the quest would involve a ship, which Tex demands as her reward, nor that the sword would be used as a key. After taking off in the ship, the Alien appears to make dive attack on the other Quest members; at the last moment it is shown he was firing at a Grunt sneaking up on them. However, the Alien's ultimate intentions are left ambiguous, as Wyoming suddenly guns the ship down. As Tex leaves to pursue Wyoming for destroying her reward (the events of which are portrayed in the miniseries Red vs. Blue: Out of Mind), the Battle Creek soldiers begin to respawn, convincing Tucker and Caboose to leave. Back in Blood Gulch, Church orders Simmons to wash the Reds' jeep, the latter, unaware that his identity is known, challenges Church's authority. In response, Church tries to demonstrate that he had led the Blood Gulch Blue Team 800 years in the past and, in the process, unexpectedly makes contact with a descendant of Vic. This descendant, who calls himself Vic Jr., scoffs at the idea of "Blue Command", leaving Church confused and wondering the outcome of the Red and Blue civil war.
Tex begins her hunt for Wyoming.
Tex reminisces her events of her implantation of Omega back at Project Freelancer.
Tex gets the aid of her old friend, York, and his A.I., Delta, in order to track down Omega.
Tex and York locate Omega's base and break in.
After an intense battle, York gets shot and dies. Tex then corners Wyoming, who tells her about Omega's plans.
In the Red Base, Sarge attempts to bury his disgust and hatred toward Grif in an attempt to consolidate whatever soldiers the Reds have left to fight the war with the Blues. Sarge's own personal disdain for Grif still leaks through as he disclosed that he has attempted to murder Grif countless times while everyone was asleep. Outside of the base, Simmons — still mostly blue — and Donut have a verbal fight. Donut, still under the impression that Simmons is a Blue soldier, refused to allow Simmons to pass without being shot at. Eventually, Sarge and Grif come out to see what's happening and acknolwedge who Simmons really is. Simmons, though still looked down upon by Sarge for his apparent betrayal, still wants to pass along Blue Army info to the Reds. Caboose, Tucker and Andy return to the Blue Base. According to Tucker, Tex is still pursuing Wyoming, the quest was a failure, and the Alien died. Frustrated that the quest failed and that Tucker did not immediately reveal that Wyoming is still alive, Church orders Tucker to report those kind of events immediately in future.
At the Blue Base, Tucker becomes ill. Church and Caboose discuss Tucker's sickness, which apparently he caught when the Sacred Quest team stayed overnight in a swamp. Church suggests the sword's power source could be giving off radiation. Church and Caboose have a reasonably light and friendly discussion regarding the nature of the sword, as Tucker rolls in pain. This friendly discussion even extends to Church mentioning that he would love to "live in [Caboose's] world for about 10 minutes" just to have some fun. At the Red Base, Simmons persists in trying to enter the Red Base to relay vital information about the war to the Reds. However, he still meets resistance from Donut and Grif until he very quickly changes out of his mostly blue armor to his original maroon armor. Apparently Simmons learned this ability because of his extreme shyness, which has led him to never use the base's toilet for three years. Back at the Blue Base, Church and Caboose question Andy on what might be causing Tucker's sickness and suggest that he, being a machine (and thus not able to get sick) go into the base, find out what is wrong with Tucker and report back. Since Andy is a bomb, the only solution he can provide is to blow up the base with Tucker inside, killing all the germs and everything around the base in the process. Finally, out of frustration, he tells Church and Caboose that if they want a medical diagnosis, they need to find a doctor. With that, Caboose says to Church "Please don't do it." O'Malley and Lopez bicker over who should pick up the telephone that is ringing inside their secret lair, while Doc decries their bickering. It appears that all three have survived their encounter with the Alien and that O'Malley has continued in his pursuit of taking over the universe. It would seem from Lopez's attitude toward O'Malley, all those attempts have failed miserably and this has caused Lopez to become quite cynical and disrespectful toward O'Malley.
Simmons manages to enter the Red Base by correctly guessing the weak password established by Grif and Donut. Simmons wants to report the Blues' plans, but Sarge still considers him a traitor and insists on holding a trial with himself as both judge and prosecutor. This trial is quickly aborted, however, when Grif argues that Donut will want to act as a bailiff in hotpants. As a result, Simmons' sentence is summarily commuted to the payment of a hefty fine, to be split between Sarge and Grif. Meanwhile, O'Malley, Doc and Lopez return to the gulch. As O'Malley approaches the Blue Base, he is greeted with a "warning shot" from Church, who reveals to Caboose that he was actually trying to hit O'Malley. O'Malley accuses the Blues of attempting an ambush, but Church explains that he just wants to establish a few ground rules at the outset: O'Malley is supposed to enter the base, give a diagnosis for Tucker, and then leave. In exchange, O'Malley demands something "mysterious", "frightening", and "pure evil", as well as a 20-dollar upfront copayment. Church agrees and asks Caboose for 30 dollars.
The episode begins with Sarge, Simmons, and Grif racing toward the Blue Base. Sarge worries that, since the Blues have re-established contact with their Command, they may be receiving new intelligence, weaponry, and soldiers to aid in their efforts for the war. Grif, however, suggests that the Blue Command could simply be giving the same "generic" instructions that Red Command has been giving the Reds. Eventually the discussion changes gears and the Reds ponder where Donut could be. Simmons spots him standing next to a rock, talking to something. After taking a look through his sniper rifle, Grif sees that Donut is talking with Lopez. Back at Blue Base, Church introduces O'Malley and Doc to Andy. An awkward moment for O'Malley occurs when Church notes that Andy had originally been designed to kill O'Malley. Andy feigns an explosion, frightening O'Malley. Church and Andy share a good laugh, while O'Malley is unamused. Meanwhile, the rest of the Reds gather around Donut and Lopez. Donut reveals that he had taken four years of Spanish in high school, but, from the subtitles provided, he can neither speak it or understand it fluently. Eventually, after Donut fails to communicate Sarge's request to Lopez, Sarge gains root access into Lopez to force him to play back the message from Red Command stored in his memory. Unfortunately, the message, which actually contains the generic instructions that Grif had mentioned previously, is played back in Spanish. The Reds are at a loss on how to translate the message until Simmons mentions that the Blues had a bomb that could translate the message. Although Grif discourages the idea when he reminds them the bomb can explode via remote detonation as the entire team huddles around it, Sarge wants to retrieve it.
While Doc examines Tucker inside the Blue Base, the Reds digress into a discussion on the relative appropriateness of hand to hand combat, sniping, and nuclear warfare. Eventually, Sarge, with Lopez's head in tow, heads out to steal Andy from the Blues. Doc returns outside to give Church and Caboose his diagnosis of Tucker. After prolonging his explanation of Tucker's condition for dramatic effect, he discloses that he believes Tucker is pregnant, based on the presence of two different heartbeats. Incredulous, Church goes with Doc to confirm the diagnosis, leaving Caboose alone with Andy. When Caboose has his back turned, Sarge surreptitiously swaps Lopez's head for Andy, leaving Caboose under the impression that Andy had become a "real boy". Shortly realizing that Andy is useless without Lopez, Sarge returns, distracts Caboose, and swaps Lopez's head for a skull. Upon seeing the skull, Caboose believes that Andy has died and, in hysteria, delivers an extended soliloquy lamenting the loss of Andy.
The last episode of season 4 begins as Doc tries to convince an incredulous Church of Tucker's pregnancy. When Doc discloses the truth to Tucker, he does not believe him either, thinking he himself has impregnated someone and invents excuses. Caboose enters the base with the skull, asking for help, proclaiming that Andy is dead. After Caboose explains how he found the skull, Church decides to leave the base. Meanwhile, Andy plays back the message from Command in English for the Reds. After hearing the generic instructions, Sarge becomes depressed, and while Grif tries to cheer him up, Donut spots Church approaching with Sheila. Sheila then fires, frightening the Red Team, which regroups behind a rock formation. Sarge calls for reinforcements, and Simmons attempts to negotiate a surrender from the Blues. Annoyed, Church explains what has just occurred back at his base. To Church's dismay, Andy lets slip that it is possible for Tucker to be pregnant, as the Alien's race propagates by infecting other lifeforms with parasitic embryos. Caboose then calls Church to inform him that O'Malley has moved to another host as the Reds had been using their radios, and that Tucker had his baby. Higher-pitched Alien speech can be heard off-screen. Church returns to Blue Base, and Donut follows him, wanting to see the baby. Sarge stops him, and orders him to wait for the ship being sent by Command. Donut argues that it could be weeks, even months before the ship arrives. A ship then promptly lands on top of Donut.
Church returns to the Blue Base where Junior, the baby to which a now-comatose Tucker has given birth, is wreaking havoc off-screen. Church and Doc argue about the child until a spaceship crashes into the gulch on top of Donut; Church leaves to investigate. The Reds bicker about rescue plans until Sarge leaves to fetch a rescue device. Church arrives and claims the ship with Sheila's support.
As Church argues with Simmons and Grif, a tapping noise begins to sound from the ship. Sheila abruptly leaves, forcing Church to retreat to the base.
Church attempts to call Vic for reinforcements, but is stalled by an elaborate answering machine system. Meanwhile, the back door of the ship opens, and an unseen entity emerges.
Church finally discovers that Vic's voice mailbox is full. The Red reinforcement who emerged from the ship is revealed to be the Sister of Grif, who by Simmons' theory arrived using the ship's light drive, which caused her and the ship to move forward in time as it was traveling to Blood Gulch. Meanwhile, it is revealed that Donut fell into an underground cave (Waterworks in Halo 2) after the ship crashed on top of him.
As Caboose attempts to see the new Red soldier using the sniper rifle, Church speculates as to what combat skills the reinforcement may have. Tucker wakes from his coma and joins them, immediately identifying the new soldier as a girl from hundreds of feet away. Sister explains to the Reds that, following the death of a Team Commander, Command has promoted a soldier to the position and sent her to fill the new low-level opening. Since Command seems to presume him dead, the Reds decide to hold an impromptu funeral for Sarge.
The Red Team holds Sarge's funeral, each giving a separate eulogy. Grif makes jokes; Simmons announces his campaign for Red leader; and Sister goes on a tangent about death and age. Finally Sarge, disgruntled, is buried alive.
Tucker is introduced to Junior. Meanwhile, Sister reveals that she was told the dead Commander died of an aspirin-overdose. It is explained she is colorblind, and the "Blue guys" were the ones that really sent her. Underground, Donut wakes up and finds two suits of Blue armor.
The Reds argue whether to keep Sister, before Grif secretly decides to rid the team of her before the still-buried Sarge discovers her Blue allegiance. Doc examines Sheila for her random behavior since abandoning Church in episode 79. Grif confronts the Blues and convinces them to take Sister. Simmons appears after trying to dig up Sarge, and proclaims him missing.
Church gives Sister an orientation, before Tex arrives. Meanwhile, Simmons explains that he discovered a large cavern under Sarge's grave.
Grif and Simmons decide to enter the cave. Meanwhile, Tex is firing at the Blues to try and deduce who is being possessed by O'Malley. Church starts to suspect that Sheila is possessed by O'Malley, causing her malfunction. Tex notices Sister, and reacts jealously.
Soon after Sarge awakens underground, Donut discovers him. As Tex and Sister talk, Church and Tucker discuss having two girls at the base. Back in the cavern, Donut points out what he believes to be a subterranean Blue base, the two bodies he found earlier, and a vehicle resembling the "motorcycle" he stole from O'Malley. Simmons and Grif reestablish radio contact with Sarge, and decide to meet.
Simmons and Grif are shot with projectiles which resemble tranquilizers in effect while waiting for Sarge and Donut. The Blues decide to reboot Sheila.
Doc decides to give Sister a physical. Donut and Sarge find a briefly unconscious Simmons who explains that his attackers have apparently taken Grif with them. At first reluctant, Sarge decides to go help find Grif after realizing his prized shotgun was taken too. Using a tracking device in Grif's armor, they discover he is about a tenth of a mile away and head to find him. The Blues decide Caboose will distract Sheila while Tex shuts her down.
Tucker and Junior overhear Doc's inspection of Sister. Meanwhile, the Reds find Grif, who claims that he was questioned by his captors. As the Blues reboot Sheila, the tank shuts down just before revealing O'Malley's new host to Caboose.
The Blues decide to transfer Sheila's intelligence to the crashed ship's on-board computer. Grif recounts his interrogation, and how Andy was present and translating for his captors, who are looking for "the kid and the sword".
Tex recounts the events of Red vs. Blue: Out of Mind. When York's presence in the future is questioned, Tex comments that, as part of her division's AI implantation process, his armor's special healing ability might have kept him alive. When it is revealed Wyoming teleported away from her before she could question him, Church remembers Gary's ability to create teleporters, and decides he must be Wyoming's AI, Gamma. Church is then called by Vic and told to attack the Reds via the caves. Meanwhile, the Red team discover a surveillance system watching over Blood Gulch in the cavern.
Church somewhat follows Vic's instructions by sending Doc, Sister and Junior through the caves while Church, Tex and Tucker attack the Red base head on. Tucker gives some unhelpful life advice to Junior before heading off. Caboose stays at the base to ensure Sheila's transfer is not disrupted.
The Reds see the Blues advancing on their base on the surveillance system, prompting them to find their way out of the cavern to invade the deserted Blue base. Caboose asks Sheila, now uploaded into the ship, where O'Malley is, relaying Tex the answer. Tex then confronts Church, calling him "O'Malley." Doc and Sister head through the caves, where they find Lopez's disembodied head.
Sarge calls Command for reinforcements, and Simmons hears an echo and leaves to investigate. He traces Vic Jr.'s voice back to the surveillance monitors, and as Simmons' voice is heard, he quickly hangs up on Sarge; the Reds assume the equipment is interfering with their radio signals. Meanwhile, Caboose explains that Sheila said O'Malley was inside the "Blue Leader." Church protests that he was never officially promoted to that position, and is not O'Malley's host. In the caves, Doc, Sister and Junior are approached by a new Alien and his partner, a revived Captain Butch Flowers, now host to O'Malley.
The Blues at Red base are ambushed by Wyoming, and Church attempts to secretly call Caboose for help, but he fails to understand. The tank nevertheless leaves for the Red base, unmanned. The Reds find Andy in the caves, who explains that the New Alien revived Captain Flowers, and begins to explain why O'Malley and Wyoming want Junior before the Reds cut him off by leaving. Tex engages her camouflage to escape Wyoming, and the tank arrives, but is revealed to be controlled by Gary.
Caboose deduces that he must leave Sheila to help his teammates at Red base. Meanwhile, Tucker finds out that Wyoming has the ability to loop time, having gained it from the AI implantation process, just like Tex's camouflage and York's regeneration. By rewinding events until he is victorious in battle, Wyoming is able to detect the invisible Tex before she attacks and kill Caboose. Tucker uses his knowledge of the loop to impale Wyoming with the sword, and save his teammates. When told of the loop, Church wonders if copies of Wyoming were made, as they were when he time-traveled, when the two come across multiple Wyomings.
Flowers/O'Malley and the New Alien are revealed to be holding Doc, Sister and Junior hostage at the underground surveillance system; Flowers mentions to Vic Jr. the plan to give Junior the sword in order to grant him unstoppable power, and that the New Alien is oblivious to their plan. Meanwhile, Church and Tucker manage to escape most of the Wyomings as the time loops continue, which Tucker states that he is aware of because of his possession of the sword, according to Wyoming. Gary is disabled after Tucker connects him to Sheila, and she traps the enemy AI behind a firewall, halting the time loops and the production of new Wyomings. The Reds decide to enter the battle in the Warthog (complete with the classic Tejano music), and take out all of the Wyomings but one. The plan is then revealed: Junior is to become the ruler of the alien race, and O'Malley plans to infect him to exploit their entire civilization in order to "win the war at any cost." Wyoming says that Tex will aid them now that she knows of the plan, and to Church's disbelief, she announces herself on an open radio channel, taunting O'Malley to "come and get her."
Official Ending - Tex reasons that ruling the Aliens would win the war. Church, arguing O'Malley can't be trusted in a deal, begins broadcasting on an open channel to prevent O'Malley from jumping into Tex. As Tex kills the last remaining Wyoming, O'Malley accidentally infects Simmons. Tex knocks Simmons out, and follows O'Malley into Caboose's mind. Church approaches the Reds and warns them to disable the ship so that O'Malley can't escape, before entering Caboose as well. Inside Caboose's mind, Church finds Tex and O'Malley negotiating their deal to rule the Aliens. He kills them both, causing them to leave Caboose's mind. After killing himself, Church emerges from Caboose's head to find that in the interim Tex has taken the sword, while Junior and the New Alien have boarded the ship. O'Malley then infects Donut. Tex then knocks him out forcing O'Malley to jump to a different host. After jumping to multiple hosts, O'Malley jumps back into Tex and boards the ship to escape. However, Sarge has placed Andy on board, and gives the order to detonate. The ship disappears, followed soon by an explosion. Official Ending - Alarm The Blues retreat to their base. Some time later, the teams loosely echo each other's episode 1 dialog, before Sarge calls the Reds to name a new ATV he built.
Alternate Ending 1 - Fight! Fight! Tex reasons that ruling the Aliens would win the war. Church, arguing O'Malley can't be trusted in a deal, begins broadcasting on an open channel to prevent O'Malley from jumping into Tex. As Tex kills the last remaining Wyoming, O'Malley accidentally infects Simmons. Tex knocks Simmons out, and follows O'Malley into Caboose's mind. Church approaches the Reds and warns them to disable the ship so that O'Malley can't escape, before entering Caboose as well. Inside Caboose's mind, Church finds Tex and O'Malley negotiating their deal to rule the Aliens. He kills them both, causing them to leave Caboose's mind. After killing himself, Church emerges from Caboose's head to find that in the interim Tex has taken the sword, while Junior and the New Alien have boarded the ship. O'Malley then infects Donut. Tex then knocks him out forcing O'Malley to jump to a different host. After jumping to multiple hosts, O'Malley jumps back into Tex and boards the ship to escape. However, Sarge has placed Andy on board, and gives the order to detonate. The ship disappears, followed soon by an explosion. Alternate Ending 1 - Fight! Fight! (Finch) Sarge taunts a sad Church, provoking the Blues to shoot and kill him. Grif declares 'Every man for himself', which results in all the characters being killed, with the phrase "Son of a bitch!" uttered after every death. The last two are Donut and Caboose. Donut charges toward Caboose with his Ghost. Caboose destroys it with a rocket launcher killing Donut. Caboose then proclaims he is the winner, only to be crushed by the falling Ghost debris.
Alternate Ending 2 - Insert Quarter Tex reasons that ruling the Aliens would win the war. Church, arguing O'Malley can't be trusted in a deal, begins broadcasting on an open channel to prevent O'Malley from jumping into Tex. As Tex kills the last remaining Wyoming, O'Malley accidentally infects Simmons. Tex knocks Simmons out, and follows O'Malley into Caboose's mind. Church approaches the Reds and warns them to disable the ship so that O'Malley can't escape, before entering Caboose as well. Inside Caboose's mind, Church finds Tex and O'Malley negotiating their deal to rule the Aliens. He kills them both, causing them to leave Caboose's mind. After killing himself, Church emerges from Caboose's head to find that in the interim Tex has taken the sword, while Junior and the New Alien have boarded the ship. O'Malley then infects Donut. Tex then knocks him out forcing O'Malley to jump to a different host. After jumping to multiple hosts, O'Malley jumps back into Tex and boards the ship to escape. However, Sarge has placed Andy on board, and gives the order to detonate. The ship disappears, followed soon by an explosion. Alternate Ending 2 - Insert Quarter (Boxy) The Blues head back to their base. Sarge calls Vic, who refuses to help due to their ruining O'Malley's plan. Sarge becomes infuriated, and decides to go destroy the surveillance system; the Reds follow. As the system is damaged, Blood Gulch rumbles, and a stalactite falls on and severely injures Grif. An Engrish message appears on the system's screen, stating that they have "won" Red vs. Blue and should play the next game. Fake Red vs. Blue credits roll, with Japanese music, cast names and video of Japanese actors reading Red vs. Blue lines. A postgame lobby for a Halo 2 match is seen with the main characters of the series, who decide to start a new game with the same teams on a "new map."
Alternate Ending 3 - Invasion Tex reasons that ruling the Aliens would win the war. Church, arguing O'Malley can't be trusted in a deal, begins broadcasting on an open channel to prevent O'Malley from jumping into Tex. As Tex kills the last remaining Wyoming, O'Malley accidentally infects Simmons. Tex knocks Simmons out, and follows O'Malley into Caboose's mind. Church approaches the Reds and warns them to disable the ship so that O'Malley can't escape, before entering Caboose as well. Inside Caboose's mind, Church finds Tex and O'Malley negotiating their deal to rule the Aliens. He kills them both, causing them to leave Caboose's mind. After killing himself, Church emerges from Caboose's head to find that in the interim Tex has taken the sword, while Junior and the New Alien have boarded the ship. O'Malley then infects Donut. Tex then knocks him out forcing O'Malley to jump to a different host. After jumping to multiple hosts, O'Malley jumps back into Tex and boards the ship to escape. However, Sarge has placed Andy on board, and gives the order to detonate. The ship disappears, followed soon by an explosion. Alternate Ending 3 - Invasion Sarge begins to taunt the Blue Team, but is killed by Aliens, who have brought an army of vehicles to invade and the two teams run away. A period of time passes and the Aliens now occupy Blood Gulch. Two Aliens begin to have a conversation on top of red base, using their language. They are unaware they are being spied upon by other Aliens on a cliff using the sniper rifle. These events mimic episode 1, and even the Aliens armor color mirrors the Spartan counter-parts.
Alternate Ending 4 - Ruby Slippers Tex reasons that ruling the Aliens would win the war. Church, arguing O'Malley can't be trusted in a deal, begins broadcasting on an open channel to prevent O'Malley from jumping into Tex. As Tex kills the last remaining Wyoming, O'Malley accidentally infects Simmons. Tex knocks Simmons out, and follows O'Malley into Caboose's mind. Church approaches the Reds and warns them to disable the ship so that O'Malley can't escape, before entering Caboose as well. Inside Caboose's mind, Church finds Tex and O'Malley negotiating their deal to rule the Aliens. He kills them both, causing them to leave Caboose's mind. After killing himself, Church emerges from Caboose's head to find that in the interim Tex has taken the sword, while Junior and the New Alien have boarded the ship. O'Malley then infects Donut. Tex then knocks him out forcing O'Malley to jump to a different host. After jumping to multiple hosts, O'Malley jumps back into Tex and boards the ship to escape. However, Sarge has placed Andy on board, and gives the order to detonate. The ship disappears, followed soon by an explosion. Alternate Ending 4 - Ruby Slippers Church watches the ship explode and cries out "Tex!". A water effect happens and Church wakes up at the end of episode 8 from being shot by Caboose. Church is surrounded by Blue Team (who also includes a green armored soldier named Jacobs who he forgot to include in his dream). When Simmons and Grif appear with guns drawn, Church comments that it's alright, that they are friends and they joined to fight a common enemy, but the two Reds, confused by Church's assurances, kill all four Blues and Simmons promptly radios in to tell Sarge that the sector is clear.
Alternate Ending 5 - Tex Wins Tex reasons that ruling the Aliens would win the war. Church, arguing O'Malley can't be trusted in a deal, begins broadcasting on an open channel to prevent O'Malley from jumping into Tex. As Tex kills the last remaining Wyoming, O'Malley accidentally infects Simmons. Tex knocks Simmons out, and follows O'Malley into Caboose's mind. Church approaches the Reds and warns them to disable the ship so that O'Malley can't escape, before entering Caboose as well. Inside Caboose's mind, Church finds Tex and O'Malley negotiating their deal to rule the Aliens. He kills them both, causing them to leave Caboose's mind. After killing himself, Church emerges from Caboose's head to find that in the interim Tex has taken the sword, while Junior and the New Alien have boarded the ship. O'Malley then infects Donut. Tex then knocks him out forcing O'Malley to jump to a different host. After jumping to multiple hosts, O'Malley jumps back into Tex and boards the ship to escape. However, Sarge has placed Andy on board, and gives the order to detonate. The ship disappears, followed soon by an explosion. Alternate Ending 5 - Tex Wins Andy begins to count down, but he doesn't explode. The ship turns around and faces the two teams on the ground. Grif inquires about "it" (the ship) having weapons. A missile is launched, and Sarge states "Oh, Snap". Everyone is presumed to be killed.
Alternate Ending 6 - Where are they now? Tex reasons that ruling the Aliens would win the war. Church, arguing O'Malley can't be trusted in a deal, begins broadcasting on an open channel to prevent O'Malley from jumping into Tex. As Tex kills the last remaining Wyoming, O'Malley accidentally infects Simmons. Tex knocks Simmons out, and follows O'Malley into Caboose's mind. Church approaches the Reds and warns them to disable the ship so that O'Malley can't escape, before entering Caboose as well. Inside Caboose's mind, Church finds Tex and O'Malley negotiating their deal to rule the Aliens. He kills them both, causing them to leave Caboose's mind. After killing himself, Church emerges from Caboose's head to find that in the interim Tex has taken the sword, while Junior and the New Alien have boarded the ship. O'Malley then infects Donut. Tex then knocks him out forcing O'Malley to jump to a different host. After jumping to multiple hosts, O'Malley jumps back into Tex and boards the ship to escape. However, Sarge has placed Andy on board, and gives the order to detonate. The ship disappears, followed soon by an explosion. Alternate Ending 6 - Where are they now? The video used is the same as the Fight! Fight! ending underlined with the Grunt music from Season 3. When each character dies there is a subtitled "where are they now" information about each character after Blood Gulch. Sarge "After his tour in Blood Gulch, Sarge was awarded the Medal of Redness, but had it revoked when he would not reveal his real name for the certificate. He commanded various red Forces over the following years and was eventually killed on the battlefield at Gemini 8. He died exactly the way he wanted: after Grif. " Simmons "Simmons stole Sarge's identity after his death and attempted to assume his life. He was discovered and court-martialed by the Red Army. He is currently awaiting execution in a military prison." Grif "Grif was killed by Sarge shortly b
Sarge explains to the Reds about the basis weapon changes in Halo 3. He shows the change in the Needler as an example.
Agent Washington, aka Recovery One, recovers the Delta A.I. from the now deceased York.
Agent Washington, aka Recovery One, recovers the Delta A.I. from the now deceased York.
Washington, Delta, and South discuss a soldier's recent attackings of Freelancers, taking their A.I. and armor enhancements.
Washington, Delta, and South discuss a soldier's recent attackings of Freelancers, taking their A.I. and armor enhancements.
Project Freelancer sends a Recovery Force to Outpost 17-B in hopes of finding out what happened there.
Agent Washington arrives at Blood Gulch and is greeted by some familiar faces.
Wash searches out Caboose hoping for his help in finding the Meta
Caboose helps Wash in pursuit of the elusive Meta.
Caboose and Church help Wash when he encounters resistance from others in his investigation.
Wash attempts to recover the Delta AI contained in agent South
The one where everybody enjoys the exposition.
Wash continues his search for the Meta.
Sarge sets out on an important mission.
Washington is forced to confront the Reds.
Meta unleashes a vicious attack.
Church tries to explain his unusual condition to Wash.
The team tries to secure a vehicle for their upcoming assault on Command.
When the vehicle acquisition goes awry, Wash is forced to take matters into his own hands.
The team is forced to split up in order to infiltrate command.
Wash explains the origins of Project Freelancer while Church struggles with the images he's receiving from the Epsilon AI. Meanwhile, the Reds hatch a diabolical plan.
The Reds continue their industrial espionage while Church copes with recent revelations.
Under attack from Recovery agents, the Reds and Blues regroup and begin to hatch their final plan.
The Conclusion to Reconstruction: Agent Washington confronts the Meta and the Director of Project Freelancer.
While Caboose sends up signals from the Blue Base, Sarge tries to install a new weapon on the Warthog.
The Reds try some unconventional tactics to get their power systems back online.
Sarge calls in a specialist to take his latest secret project to the next level.
Sarge uses his Hologram Chamber technology to build new tools and hurt Holographic Grifs.
Sarge attempts to intimidate the Blues by announcing the Red's imminent attack. Grif reasons that killing Caboose would remove the point of waging war, as the Blue base has not received any reinforcements, and may never receive any. Sarge reconsiders the attack and contacts Command to ask for advice on dealing with the Blues. Meanwhile Grif confides in Simmons that he would rather stall the battle for years, and be facing one "shitty" enemy, than transferred to a new base and fighting five "real" enemies. Command brushes Sarge off, claiming not to know anything about a Blue team. Simmons recalls that the Reds had deleted the information on the Blues while at Command.
At Blue Base, Caboose appears to talk to Epsilon about his adventures in Blood Gulch with Sheila. Sarge is looking for Simmons so he can brief Red Team on his latest plan to wipe out the Blues. Sarge finds Simmons in the holographic projection room beneath their base, and interrupts Simmons' heartfelt talk with a holographic version of Sarge. Above ground, Grif, Sarge, and Simmons discuss their strategy for combating Blue Team, which involves restoring the information of the Blue Team in Command's databases that was previously erased by Simmons, because the team reasons that they can't beat an enemy that doesn't exist anymore. Sarge tells Simmons to wake up Donut, who was shown to be still unconscious earlier in the chapter, but they find him missing. Once again at Blue Base, Caboose appears to be recounting previous adventures to Epsilon. The camera pulls back and Donut is revealed to be standing behind Caboose.
The Reds are out looking for Donut, heading over to Blue base. Donut confronts Caboose and tells him that he has an important message for Church from Tucker. Caboose quickly explains Church's true nature as an AI and Donut tells Caboose the message instead, saying only that Tucker needs help, and that "it is under the sand" before passing out. Caboose misunderstands the message, but tells Donut he can rest at Blue Base for as long as he needs to. Meanwhile, Sarge, Grif, and Simmons arrive outside and think that Caboose is torturing Donut. Caboose talks with them and Sarge tries to negotiate Donut's release, but Caboose misunderstands the questions, believing the Reds are offering him treats, and becomes angry when they don't give him any cookies. Simmons also becomes agitated with the situation before leaving to "go sleep under a tree until it's over". Caboose goes back inside the base where Donut has regained consciousness. The episode ends with Donut puzzling over the fact that the normally insubordinate Grif is working with Sarge and that Simmons has uncharacteristically abandoned them.
Donut tells Caboose about what happened to him after he was relocated from Blood Gulch, including his debriefing by the Counsellor of Project Freelancer. Donut had arrived at his new base and found a distress signal from Tucker telling him to find Church. Caboose, after explaining the events of Reconstruction to Donut and deciding they need help, calls Washington, who is revealed to be alive but in a maximum security prison. Washington is surprised to hear that Caboose and the Red Team received new bases while he was arrested. He tells the guard he needs to talk to the commander because he just figured out the last part of the "puzzle".
After Washington hangs up on Caboose, Donut offers to help him with his project and mentions that the Red team's underground holo-room could be useful before returning to Red base. After another accidental fire, Caboose decides to take Donut's advice and sneaks off toward Red base with Epsilon, planning to check out the holo-room. There, the Reds are making plans to rescue Donut, who returns and explains his brief visit to Sarge. Only Grif notices Caboose's attempt to stealthily enter Red base, but he ignores him and Caboose gains entry to the holo-chamber. Once inside, Epsilon begins to make humming sounds, which alarms Caboose. The scene fades to black and the chapter ends with Caboose mysteriously exclaiming, "It's you."
Epsilon's storage unit suddenly opens up, and the figure of Delta is seen. He explains that Epsilon chose this form because Delta was the main source of information from Caboose's stories. Delta asks Caboose for his help on a mission; specifically, he asks Caboose to take him to the source of energy that Donut had previously mentioned, and also where Tucker is supposed to be, so they can punish those who harmed Alpha. Delta states that they must find it themselves because Washington doesn't trust Epsilon and Caboose constantly fails at building a new body for Epsilon, explicitly remembering the fires. Caboose agrees to go on this mission. As Delta disappears, the Reds arrive and Caboose tells them that he is leaving to get Tucker. Grif volunteers to go with him so that he can ensure Command acknowledges the Blues exist. Sarge decides to go as well, but Simmons chooses to stay behind with Donut and offer 'logistical support'.
Outside the Red Base the team of Caboose, Sarge, and Grif prepare to leave for Donut's given coordinates while Grif questions the capabilities of their new jeep. After they leave, Simmons informs Donut and Lopez that he is going to blow up Blue Base. After he is gone for a long while, Donut decides to go check on him. Meanwhile, after stopping at a number of bathroom breaks for Caboose, the team arrives in the desert, only to be told to vacate over an intercom. This follows with a warning that they've driven into a mine field. The scene cuts out while Caboose and Sarge question whether or not you can own a field and Grif says that he means explosives, just as an explosion is heard.
Back at Blue Base, Simmons discusses the mess Caboose has made in his project to build a new body, and mentions how nobody has won the war because they waste their time building “stupid robots”, a comment which Lopez takes offense to. Because Lopez is the only one with access to the Red's armory, Simmons tries asking him for explosives, but Lopez deliberately stonewalls him. Meanwhile the voice over the intercom tells Grif, Caboose, and Sarge to remain still so they can work out a way to navigate out of the mine field. After they prove incapable of following simple directions, a frustrated Grif decides to just drive his way out. Explosions are heard off screen while the stranger over the intercom agrees that running is just the best option.
Grif crashes the jeep into the vehicle driven by the person who was trying to guide them out. As Sarge berates Grif, it is revealed that Caboose was blown up by a mine and seemingly killed, but he shortly falls from the sky, perfectly fine. The guide explains that the area is a restricted dig-site, and is soon joined by a friendly alien, "Smith", apparently of the same species as the previous Aliens they'd met, revealing to the surprised soldiers that they are working together. In the meantime, Simmons tries to apologize to Lopez, but again offends him by making a comment about Mexicans holding grudges. Realizing he has blown it, Simmons looks for another way to blow up Blue Base. Elsewhere, Washington is led by the prison guard to a door, and is told he has five minutes to talk with the "man in charge". The door is opened, and the voice of the Chairman is heard off-screen, greeting Washington, saying that they have "much to discuss".
Shortly after Simmons asks Lopez for explosives, Donut comes back from investigating Blue Base for parts, mentioning off-hand that Caboose took Epsilon with him. Simmons becomes upset, as returning Epsilon to the authorities was part of the deal that got the teams their new bases, and attempts to radio Sarge to let him know. Unfortunately, he is unable to make contact as Sarge's radio isn't working. Back in the desert, the guide explains the treaty between humans and aliens and that another human team might cause an incident. He does permit Sarge, Grif and Caboose to scavenge for parts and supplies as long as they don't wander off. As Sarge notes that something "doesn't feel right", the guide tells Smith to return to getting into the temple while he takes care of the others, as the camera swings around to reveal the dead bodies of the real investigation team.
While Grif and Sarge scavenge various jeeps for parts, Grif notes that all of the radios are either broken or have been completely ripped out, preventing them from calling Simmons. When Caboose suggests he can "fix" one of the missing jeep radios, Grif decides it best not to reason with him. While Sarge and Grif discuss the strange situation, Grif realizes that the investigation team's mobile base probably has a radio. Just then Epsilon's distinct sounds can be heard. Grif startles Caboose and he drops Epsilon’s carrying unit, just as the man from before approaches from the distance. Meanwhile, at Red Base, Lopez has assembled two motorcycles in order to allow Simmons and Donut to find Sarge, or so Simmons thinks. Lopez reveals that after years of working with the Red Team he builds two of everything, and sure enough Simmons destroys one of them immediately as he goes to retrieve Donut from Blue Base. Back in the desert, the man introduces himself simply as CT. CT notices Caboose is gone and points a gun at Grif, demanding to know where Caboose is, a threat with which Sarge has no problem. Just then an alarm sounds and various other soldiers and aliens are seen running towards the mobile base, while Grif confirms that it’s probably Caboose’s doing. CT orders Sarge and Grif to move in the same direction.
Caboose's sneaky antics have aroused suspicion among the Desert dig team.
Tucker attempts to explain the situation to the Reds.
Simmons and Lopez try to hold their ground, while the desert team members find themselves in shifting sands.
Epsilon Church takes charge of the escalating situation at Sandtrap, while the reds back at Valhalla have their hands full.
Church is having a little trouble with the "out of the box" experience.
Things start to shake up on Sandtrap, while the Reds at Valhalla spring into action.
Church learns that with great power, comes great responsibility... also a wicked left hook.
The Valhalla squad continue their escape attempts while the Reds, Aliens & Caboose all chase after CT in a three-way race to get control of Epsilon.
Sarge and Grif reveal that they don't have a PSA available because Caboose burned and then ate the script. They then proceed to explain that GameStop is holding a contest to make a replacement PSA.
Sarge receives orders from UNSC Command that he has to take a vacation of his choice because he hasn't used any of his sick or vacation days over the years. Also more news since Sarge is leaving Grif and Simmons are forced to leave Valhalla to new temporary holiday base. Grif asks why he can't go on vacation for the holidays and that is because he's used all of his vacation days, but Simmons says he hasn't used any. Sarge then points that vacation days are different for privates and leaders. Sarge explains that Simmons vacation days have already been used up by Grif because vacation days are in a pool between them. Across the canyon the Blues are watching the Reds argue about the vacation. Epsilon-Church then asks what they're going to do for the holidays. Tucker says he doesn't know until Command gives them their orders, while Caboose stares at the sun.
Simmons and Grif arrive at their holiday base in the middle of Sidewinder, the planet of ice and snow. After Sarge leaves for the hot tropical beaches of Zanzibar, Simmons then finds out that the base has no power, so no heat. Simmons and Grif start to freeze to death, but Simmons has to solve this problem by himself because Grif found out how to get a vacation from work: convert to all religions to get the whole month of December off cause the UNSC lets soldiers off work for holiday purposes. Simmons finally gets Grif to help him with heat situation by suggesting they burn their Jeep for heat. But Sarge had Simmons not to destroy their equipment. But to make matters worse The Blues have relocated to same base but since the base one big building their forced to live on snowy hills outside. Pissed off because they had move too and from slowly dying from hypothermia they attack the reds out of rage. Simmons at first is confident that him and Grif can handle Tucker and Caboose but soon l
Sarge is relaxing on the beach at Zanzibar. When he receives a call from Simmons, who is saying the Blues are attacking them because they got moved with the Reds to the holiday base they were given and Grif has joined all religions to get the entire month of December off. But Sarge offers no advice to them and hangs up on them for a Limbo contest. Simmons tries to reason ceasefire with the blues who are really only attacking them to stay warm.Simmons then offers that the Reds and Blues team cease fire in the season of holidays. Tucker and the blues agree. Part 3 ends with the Reds and Blues standing near a burning Warthog and a pine tree they had turned into a Christmas tree, sharing stories about their experiences with each other
Medical Officer DuFresne (Doc) arrives at Valhalla after Simmons had requested a medic from Command. Doc is initially happy to meet Simmons again, but Simmons says that Donut needs his help. Doc notes that Donut is dead, and that nothing can be done for him. Simmons says he is sorry, and admits that he sent the request because "they" forced him to, needing someone with medical training. Doc turns around to see Washington and The Meta, who knocks him unconscious. In the desert, Epsilon Church is enjoying his new status, making up speeches while being worshiped as a deity by the aliens. While delivering a eulogy for C.T. and the human members of his team, Epsilon Church trails off when he sees a dark figure in the distance. He follows the figure; as it walks into a building, he finds himself at the Valhalla installation. When Tucker gets his attention, Epsilon Church again finds himself back in the desert. Realizing that Epsilon Church has just had another flash of memory, Tucker tells the Reds that this has been happening with increasing frequency. When Epsilon Church recalls seeing a waterfall, Grif and Caboose say that it sounds like the Valhalla bases.
As Sarge makes preparations to call Simmons to get his take on Epsilon Church's visions, Doc recovers and wakes up at the base with Simmons, who explains the details of Washington and the Meta to him. After hearing that Doc had experience with Omega previously, Washington tells him to examine the Meta, who is suffering from armor problems. Back in the desert, Sarge uses Epsilon Church to boost the Warthog's radio and contacts Simmons, but receives a forced message from him under Washington's supervision. Fortunately, using nothing more than his knowledge of his teammates and Simmons' communication, Sarge instantly deduces the situation at Valhalla. As he and Grif set off to rescue them, an intrigued Epsilon Church follows.
Doc informs Washington that the Meta is physically healthy, although having serious problems with his armor. In the desert, Tucker searches for the Reds and Epsilon Church, and guesses they must have taken off. Caboose warns Tucker not to say anything about Epsilon Church missing, as the aliens would become hostile if they knew he was gone. Meanwhile, Sarge arrives in Valhalla to help out Simmons and Doc, and attempts to lure Washington to the center of the canyon. Washington moves to out to intercept him after telling The Meta to kill the prisoners if Sarge caused him any problems. With Washington gone and the Meta distracted, Simmons and Doc plan to short circuit the Meta's suit using an overpowered charge on Doc's medical scanner. Washington confronts and disarms Sarge and demands to know where Epsilon is, but at Sarge's signal, Grif bursts through the canyon wall in the Warthog, landing on Washington and pinning him under the car. With the Warthog still moving at a high speed, Wash climbs from under the Warthog and onto the front, and attempts to shoot Grif. Grif slams on the brakes and Wash is thrown into the opposite cliff alongside explosive barrels as Sarge reclaims his shotgun. He fires at the barrels to ignite them, attempting (but failing) a one-liner, and Washington is engulfed in the resulting explosion. As the episode ends, the Meta sees the explosion and readies to execute Doc just as Doc charges his "scanner."
Epsilon-Church finds the gap in the Valhalla wall caused by the warthog, and continues to follow the reds. At the base, Doc fires his medical scanner at the last second, blasting the Meta against the wall. The blast overloads the Meta's temporal distortion unit, causing him to be slowed down rather than him slowing down time. However, he is still able to land a single punch that caused Doc to fly back and get trapped in the wall. As Sarge and Grif arrive, Simmons declines to help Doc as the Meta begins to resume normal speed, and rejoins his team. Returning to normal temporal relativity, the Meta pursues the fleeing red team, destroying their warthog. As the reds prepare to make a last stand against the Meta, Epsilon-Church arrives, serving as a decoy to lead the Meta back towards blue base while the reds escape. Red team runs back through the hole made by the warthog, arriving in Isolation. As they catch up, Epsilon-Church appears and reveals that he lost the Meta, but is still being followed. He is about to reveal who he came here to look for, the reds begin insulting him, so that he may activate his laser and seal the gap, preventing the Meta from pursuing. It doesn't work at first, but when the Meta and the now-recovered Agent Washington appear beyond the hole, the sight of Wash enrages Epsilon-Church, who inadvertently fires his energy weapon and seals the gap, trapping Wash and the Meta on the other side. This frustrates Epsilon-Church, but before he says why, he loses power and falls. Back in Valhalla, the Meta is angry that they got away, but Washington mentions that they still have a source of information: Doc, who is still trapped in the wall at blue base.
The Reds return to the desert to find Caboose being threatened by the aliens as a result of Epsilon-Church going missing. Tucker informs the aliens that the Reds took Epsilon in order to draw them off of his own back. Meanwhile, as Simmons and Grif try to wake up Epsilon-Church, Sarge is leading the aliens, and thanks to a series of warnings, Grif is able to punt Epsilon away just after he comes to. The aliens arrive with Sarge to see no signs of Epsilon-Church. The Reds flee in the midst of the distraction, and Caboose abandons Tucker, leaving him to face the aliens alone. The Reds and Caboose locate Epsilon, who landed in the mine field after he was punted away. Grif tells Simmons, who is unaware of the mine field, to go get him and Simmons hastily retreats when he accidentally activates a mine.
Washington and The Meta plan to interrogate Doc after they pull him out of the wall with an anchor but it does not go as they had planned, meanwhile The Reds and Caboose get visited by a memory of Delta who tells them that Epsilon is not in control but searching for memories as, Epsilons encounter with Washington has jogged many of its memories, and that Epsilon has not "Coped" with the memories well and fears Epsilon will pursue "certain" memories in particular and states that Delta himself and the other memories of the Alpha fragments will not be able to hide much longer as he states Epsilon will be aware of their presence eventually.The Delta fragment warns Caboose that "Memory may be the key, but everything that is locked is not meant to be unlocked" and leaves before he is discovered. Epsilon-Church awakens again and says he remembered something important and that it may be able to help him and asks Caboose to accompany him to a facility before night fall.
Having set the piece of wall containing Doc back up vertically, Washington again attempts to interrogate him. After being repeatedly hit by the Meta and threatened to be shot, Doc reveals that Simmons said something about a distress call, and mentioned "sand". At the desert, the Reds spy on Epsilon-Church and Caboose. Sarge believes that the Reds may be able to restore the Blues to command's database at the facility mentioned by Epsilon Church. As the Reds leave in pursuit, Tucker takes the opportunity to escape from the aliens and follows the Reds. Epsilon Church and Caboose arrive at the entrance to the facility, hidden within a derelict factory, and find a monitor embedded in a tree. The monitor activates and a voice identical to that of Sheila is heard, explaining that they have 30 seconds to leave or be killed. When Caboose asks if it is Sheila, the program identifies itself as F.I.L.S.S. (Phyllis); Sheila's name before Church mistakenly renamed her during Episode 50. Upon hearing Epsilon Church's voice, Phyllis disables the countdown, believing him to the the Director of Project Freelancer. At his request, Phyllis opens the door to the facility, which was hidden in a wall. As the episode ends, Epsilon Church asks Phyllis to answer to the name Sheila, as it will be easier than getting Caboose to adapt to the new name.
The episode starts with Church and Caboose entering the Freelancer base and having F.I.L.S.S activate the tutorial tour of the base upon Caboose's request. It turns out to be a Freelancer storage facility and on part of the tour F.I.L.S.S reveals she has no knowledge of the Blue Team. They then head to a door that only the Director can get access to. However, much to Shelia..erm F.I.L.S.S's surprise, Church has her let him take Caboose in. Meanwhile outside the Reds are discussing on how to enter the base. Simmons suggests that they pose as Freelancers to F.I.L.S.S, and since Freelancers use US states as their names, Grif gets Alaska and Sarge picks "Double-O-hio." Simmons goes with the "State of Denial" but the joke is lost on the other two. Meanwhile at the desert Washington and Meta have arrived with Doc (still stuck in the wall) dragged along. Wash then instructs a disgruntled Meta to dig in the sand which is burying Doc slightly. Meta then stops to reveal the helmet of C.T. Wash then take a look and is shocked to see it and wonders why she is there. They then turn to see the group of Aliens found them. Back at the Freelancer base Church and Caboose come have found that the restricted room is full of duplicates of Church's old body (to a happy Caboose as he can bring back Church). However that is not why Church is here, he then opens a storage chamber it appears he is disappointed at what he saw.
Agent Washington and Meta are still trying to get Doc out of the piece of wall. They throw a couple grenades and it finally breaks and releases Doc. Meanwhile, the Reds have made it past F.I.L.S.S., thanks to Sarge's "contingency plan" which not surprisingly, involves the business end of his shotgun. They hear a sound deeper inside the facility and go investigate. Back in Sandtrap, Wash, Meta and Doc come up to the aliens, who Doc says is drawing them a map in the sand to where Church went. The map is nothing but an insult that says "humens suk." Wash and Meta open fire on them. The Reds find that the sound is Caboose standing outside the door he and Church went into, and Caboose is telling F.I.L.S.S. to keep it shut. Inside the room can be heard Church yelling at something and several explosions. Something starts pounding on the door and Caboose leaves. The Reds stand there confused thinking of a plan while the door is busted down. When the door is destroyed, out steps none other than Tex, who pounds her fists together and asks "who's first?!"
F.I.L.S.S. starts to sound the alarms stating there is a security breach on level 'Alpha.' Tex soon chases the Reds out of the base and soon starts to beat up the reds and Simmons is separated from the group. Simmons runs to Caboose, who is in a control room, and tell him he needs a bigger weapon; Caboose presses random buttons until a rocket launcher falls down to Simmons. Simmons runs into Tucker who recruits Tucker to help distract Tex. Sarge and Grif are still getting beaten up by Tex, until Tucker pulls out his sword and draws Tex's attention away from the Reds. However Caboose accidentally 'saves' Tucker, and yells at Caboose for fucking up the distraction. Tex realizes that Simmons fires a rocket at her, and throws a teleporter door at the rocket, redirecting it at Simmons blowing up the area he was standing on. Soon Tucker, Simmons, Grif and Sarge are rejoined to attempt to fight Tex as Caboose still tries to find ways to 'help' them out while in the safety of the control room. After some major ass-kickery, Tex ends up throwing everyone, but Tucker, to the other side of the room where. Caboose then attempts to drop a crate, which Tucker and Tex are under, in order to help Tucker. After Tucker dives out of the way, Tex catches the Crate and throws it at Tucker and the reds. Tucker is able to slice the crate in half missing himself as Grif and Simmons are hit by the split ends of the crate and Sarge is covered in Med Packs. After Tucker attempts to fight Tex, he his sword stripped from him and repeatedly gets thrown into teleporters, slowly getting black stuff all over his armor. Realizing that the rocket launcher is an older model, Simmons attempts to fire it at Tex, but can't tell Tucker and Tex apart. After Simmons fires a rocket at Tex, she preforms some acrobatics in order to avoid being hit by the missile that is chasing her, running through teleporters to avoid and redirect the missile. After coming out of the teleporter unscratched, Tucker and the Reds
Tex is bashing Church's original blue body with the Monitor body he had been using until recently. Caboose talks to F.I.L.S.S. who says he should use the "armor lock" function to get Tex to stop, which was developed when the Freelancers broke into the facility. He does and it locks Tex down and makes her stop, but it then also locks the Reds and Church down as well. Meanwhile, in Sandtrap Agent Washington and Meta have killed all the aliens. Wash tells Meta to search the camp for where Church went. Doc and Wash discuss the paid benefits they get for working; Wash is surprised to hear that Doc gets paid overtime when he doesn't. Meta finds something in a cave and Wash tells Doc to go inside and check it out.
Church is in Recovery Mode since Caboose activated armor lock and disabled their movement (except him because his Mark V armor is out of date). Church and Tucker then get out of Armor Lock. While in Sandtrap, Washington, Doc, and the Meta found Epsilons body. The Reds are also stuck in Armor Lock, but they think they're dead. They talk to Church and agree to not attack the Blues, and F.I.L.S.S. gets them out of Recovery Mode.
Washington, the Meta and Doc gather near the Epsilon unit, which Washington realizes is empty due to the AI being moved to the eye-like body they saw in Valhalla. Doc, having not seen it, thinks Washington is going crazy from heat-stroke and tries to psycho-analyze him while the Meta begins converting the storage unit into a capture unit to retake Epsilon. At the facility, the Reds and Blues debate reactivating Tex until Church takes AI form and inserts himself into her body. Once there, the two bicker for a bit until Church agrees to let her out and hit Tucker for making an ex-wife joke earlier. Back in his body, Church has F.I.L.S.S disable the recovery mode on Tex, who gets up and smacks Tucker.
The Meta finishes configuring the old Epsilon unit into a capture unit. Out of curiosity, Doc asks Washington if they could track the Reds' trail, like heat signatures, footprints etc. But Washington tells him otherwise, however, after doc is out of earshot, Washington asks the Meta if they could track the Reds like Doc suggested. Back at the facility, Tex fully recovers and discusses Epsilon/Church's motives on freeing her. In an awkward attempt, Church claims that he needed to get Tex out of his head and even refers to her as his girlfriend. Meanwhile, the Reds decide to use the absence of the Blues to put them back into the database. Simmons and Grif decide to go together, after Simmons threatened to change Grif's job description and change his gender to a woman. Back at the desert, Doc finds out that Washington has taken his suggestion an had Meta find the Reds successfully. Doc simply demands that the two give him credit for the idea.
Tex and Simmons are trying to obtain information from F.I.L.S.S. when Epsilon-Church walks in. When Church explains that Sheila keeps calling him the Director, Tex explains that there are no profiles on the Director, Church, or herself but everyone else has one. After this Simmons leaves to tell the Reds that he found out that Washington used to wet the bed. She then points out a Freelancer base somewhere in an icy area. As Tex leaves, Sheila asks Church (still thinking he is the Director) to make a journal entry. Church asks her to play one as an example. Realizing that these entries might contain answers, Church asks Sheila to transfer them to his armor and then delete the rest. Meanwhile, Grif tells Sarge that Simmons is "doing inventory stuff". Sarge asks him why he isn't helping and Grif responds saying he is on break. Sarge explains to him that "you're always on break." After back and forth arguing Grif finally goes to Simmons. Tex comes back with new armor as she prepares to leave for the icy Freelancer base. Though the other soldiers want to come, Tex only agrees to bring Church instead. Grif finds that Simmons found the devices that enable the Freelancer agents' special abilities (invisibility, time distortion, etc). Grif asks Simmons to suit him up so he can take an invisible nap.
After dispatching the guards by her lonesome, Tex and Epsilon-Church arrive at the Freelancer base. Church has another flash of Valhalla, and realizes he mixed the two locations up in his memories. Tex reveals that this was where Alpha was sent after the very first break in, and it was here more and more "tests" were run on him. Other AI were used in the torturing process of Alpha, with Omega and Gamma being used to create tests that Alpha would purposefully fail, driving him mad, and breaking him to the point he could not recognize anybody, not even Tex. When Church asks if she and the other Freelancers succeeded, Tex says no, and that she failed herself and Alpha. At Sandtrap, Wash asks Doc if he can comment on the Meta's current condition. Doc only reiterates that the Meta has too many power-ups that he can't operate anymore. At the first Freelancer facility, Simmons finally installs Grif with one of the armor enhancements. This winds up being a super-speed ability, which sends Grif into a wall. However the timer runs out as the episode ends and Grif, exhausted, takes a nap.
Informed by F.I.L.S.S. that the storage facility contains backups of Project Freelancer data, Simmons has her restore the Blue Army data. Grif peruses the records, which show that all the Red and Blue bases are merely training grounds for Freelancer agents, and are staffed with the army's worst soldiers. Furthermore, all the strange events they had encountered, including being seemingly blown into the future, meeting the Alien, and Tucker's pregnancy were part of just one of several scenarios that may be run at simulation bases. These revelations shocks Sarge, who walks off and constructs a base from junk. He insists that Simmons and Grif stop calling him "Sir", and then announces that he quits. At the Freelancer base, Tex reveals that she is looking for the Director. She suggests that Washington and the Meta may know who the Director is. In the event they do not know his identity, Tex states that she will simply kill them, and that if she cannot find the Director, she will settle for destroying everything he built. When Epsilon-Church asks how Tex will get in contact with Washington and the Meta, she shoots him, triggering his recovery beacon. She explains that the beacon would not have activated until they left the storage facility. Church insists that he would have helped her. She states that he cannot even help himself, which is why he made her. Church asks her why she is doing all this, and she says that she intends to find out. In the desert, Washington and the Meta pick up Epsilon's recovery beacon. Washington has the Meta grab the storage unit and Doc acquire a vehicle, stating that they are "going to the only place that's left."
Washington, Doc and the Meta arrive at the freelancer base where they discover Epsilon unconscious and fall into a trap set by Tex. Caboose learns of the recovery beacon and tries to get help, prompting Sarge to rally the Reds and Blues together to save Church and Tex from Washington.
Wash start waking up after he was unconscious by Tex's attack. On seeing her approach, Wash crawling toward his weapon, but Tex stopping him. She asks him where's the Director, to which Wash says he doesn't know. Receiving no response he wanted, Tex decides to kill Wash, but The Meta hits her, starting a fight between three of them, revealing that Tex had hidden weapons all over the battlefield. Doc comes close to Epsilon to ask if he’s OK, what says no. Following the fight, Tex pops placed bombs at the site, causing an avalanche. Despite the efforts of Wash and Meta, Tex advantage continues to blow up a second pair of bombs placed at the edge of the cliff. Wash and Meta begin to fall, but Wash is saved by retrieving his weapon, while Doc saved Wash by the Warthog’s towing mechanism. The Meta continues attack Tex, but she stabs him with a knife. Meta achieved escape firing his weapon, leaving Tex unconscious, this leaves that the Meta capture Tex in the capture unit. Wash tries to convince Epsilon to surrender, but Epsilon decided to fight against his ex-partner. Wash asks Meta that give him the captured unit, but Meta, blinded by the power and vision to finally have an AI after he had lost, betray him and install the capturing unit on his back, turning on his cloaking unit. Wash tells Doc that protects Epsilon while he is in charge of the Meta, but Meta overthrow him. Meanwhile, the Reds and the Blues come in a Pelican, shattering it on the battlefield, getting away the Meta to instead. Epsilon and others find the drive where Tex and want release her, but Washington says he cannot release her if it has the necessary tools, so he tells Tucker and Caboose retrieve tools inside the base, while the Reds find objects that have the power to liberate Tex. As teams will search, Epsilon tells Wash that he’ll become immersed in the unit, but Washington says it does not because it is their only ticket out of jail. Epsilon says he will do it for him, for Alpha a
Finale to Revelation.
The episode begins with Church giving another monologue which is repeatedly interrupted by Tucker's callings. Church goes to the cliff where Caboose and Tucker are already waiting to spy on the Reds who are making modifications to their warthog. As the Blues argue about what the modifications are, the Reds fire a rocket from "Chupathingy" at them. Church then hears Donut giving orders to Simmons, as if he was Sarge! Mad about how everything is so different he begins to go down to Red Base to set things straight saying "If we're gonna do this, it has to be done the right way or there's no point in doing it at all." The scene goes to many years earlier with the Director and the Counselor arguing.
The episode begins where the last one left off, with the Director and the Counselor discussing the system. The view then goes to two UNSC soldiers patrolling. One of the soldiers is killed causing the other to look for him and panic. When he finds him Agent South kills him. North and South start talking which turns to arguing about turning South's motion sensors on. South then sneaks into the main part of the base and sneaks past a dozen guards. She begins to download data but as that happens a soldier bringing coffee walks in on her. He goes for the alarm only to be shot but his body lands on the alarm. South takes the data and runs out of the facility. North does the same and they meet up in front of the helipad. As they go into the helipad they are surrounded by guards.
North and South are saved by "Number One," and North gets wounded. In the meantime, Church gets shot by the Reds in order to say what he needs to say.
Church tries to explain how things are supposed to be in Blood Gulch, but the Reds don't believe him. His sincerity even gets Grif to say something from inside the base, showing how he's changed since Church was last there. Carolina, helps get the extraction ship home, but not without a few technical difficulties.
The episode begins at the top of Blue Base. We see Church limping back to Blue Base. Caboose is standing at the door and greets Church. Church just gets mad about Caboose and Tucker not helping him while the Reds just shot him in the foot. Caboose says he was just following Church's orders of staying on the cliff so Church asks why he isn't there now. Caboose says the helping is over and Church limps over to get to the top of Blue Base. He is stopped by Tucker who says "Your back already". They start a small fight about that with Church asking what he means by early as it apparently took him half an hour to limp across the canyon. Tucker says he expected Church dead so in his mind Church was early. Caboose buts in and Church yells at him causing Caboose to retreat into the base. Church continues to say ow causing Tucker to ask if hes alright and eventually asking if he needs a medic Church knowing who the medic would be says no. Caboose comes out of the base and tells everyone he already called command. He is yelled at by Tucker for using the radio. Caboose says he can use it for command and infomercials. He then starts talking about how he ordered a food dehydrator and that someone from command is coming to help. Church gets excited believing it to be Tex gets upset because they aren't supposed to be sending anybody until he dies to which Tucker says they thought he was dead. Church asks if they said who they were sending and Caboose says yes. After a pause Church asks if he remembers who and Caboose says no. The scene goes to Red Base where Simmons goes looking for Grif who stops him because he just mopped the floor. Simmons says its important and Grif tells him to just wait 5 more minutes. He suggest counting to 3 one-hundred times. Simmons asks why not just count to 300 and Grif says doing things in 3 is fun. Simmons says Grif has issues and Grif says he also has a clean floor. Simmons tells Grif Sarge wanted him to relax and Grif seems to not know what the w
At Blue Base, Church tries to get information from Caboose about the special forces soldier. However, because of Caboose's stupidity, he gives up and leaves. Meanwhile at Red Base, Sarge and Simmons are seen working on a robot. Donut comes over and asks if Sarge can speak with him in private, leaving Simmons alone and a little embarrassed. Back at Blue base, Church tries to get the tank online, but fails at every attempt. Tucker asks why he is yelling at it, with Church saying that he needs to get the tank online before Tex comes. Tucker, thinking he is trying to impress his girlfriend, says he won't be able to pick up chicks in a tank anyway. Tucker tells Church to listen to him if he wants to impress Tex and to call him "Professor Fuck ". Back at Red Base, Donut and Sarge finish talking. Simmons walks up to Sarge asking how the their talk went, Sarge saying they talked about feelings. Simmons asks Sarge if he could also talk about feelings with him, but Sarge quickly stops him and tells him to get back to work.
While Wash tries to console Connie (Agent CT) after a failed mission, Tucker tries to teach Caboose and Church how the deal with women.
Sarge creates another Spanish-speaking robot (presumably Lopez) as the Reds discuss what duties the robot will have. During the conversation, a couple earthquakes happen. At the Blue base, Church, Tucker and Caboose are talking about the earthquakes when Church reveals that this "world" is taking place inside a memory unit in a snowbank.
Simmons becomes jealous by all the attention Lopez is getting. However, Lopez questions the pattern of the recent earthquakes and decides to take matters into his own hands. Meanwhile, Epsilon still tries to explain the world around them to his teammates, until a grenade appears in front of them and explodes. Cut to the Freelancer backstory, where North Dakota has a chat with Washington. However, their conversation is cut short when a group of soldiers tell them about a 3 to 1 battle, involving a new agent. During the battle, agents York, Maine, and Wyoming get pushed around by the new, black armored agent.
The new Freelancer, Agent Texas, battles Agents Maine, Wyoming, and York in a 3 on 1 training match, while the other fellow Freelancers watch and discuss the action.
After an intense battle in the training arena, the 4 agents involved become injured, especially York. When the other Freelancers come to York's aid, a very furious Director walks in. Wash tries to explain to him that Maine and Wyoming were the cause of the resulting madness, but The Director, instead, angrily scolds him, calling it inginuity and adaptability. He leaves and the injured Freelancers are escorted to medical attention. At Blood Gulch, the Blues scurry around their base, trying to figure out who threw the grenade. Unbeknowest to the Blues, Epsilon-Tex appears behind them. Meanwhile, at Red base, Simmons lures Lopez into a cave, where he plans to electrocute him. Lopez, however, overhears Simmons' plan and doesn't fall for his it. Instead, Lopez tricks Simmons into his own trap, causing Simmons to get electrocuted instead.
After being electrocuted, Simmons awakens inside the cave, only to see his ankle chained up and Lopez standing in front of him. In order to obtain more information on the earthquakes, Lopez tells Simmons that he must impersonate him. Lopez leaves the cave leaving Simmons chained up inside. He manages to fool the other Reds and begins investigating. At Blue Base, the Blues complain to Tex about the greande she threw, with Tex telling them to quit complaining. She then asks where their dead teammate is, with the Blues making up a story about the death of "Andersmith". Meanwhile, Simmons manages to escape from his shackles, and runs to Red Base, realizing he does talk out loud when thinking. Back at Blue Base, Tex calls command, with the others watching her nearby. Tex walks back to tell them that they need to even the teams and asks them which soldier on the Red team they would like to kill.
The Freelancers plan their mission to infiltrate the 100 story building.
The Blue Team discuss which Red soldier they will kill, in order to even the teams. After much pointless discussion, Tex shoots a disguised Lopez, resulting in Lopez's body to be a mere head. Donut, thinking Simmons was the one killed, cries in sorrow after seeing his death. The Blues then decide not to kill any more soldiers. In the Freelancer backstory, Teams A and B begin their missions. Team A enters the 110 story building and York unlocks a door for them. He accidentally, however, activates an alarm, causing two Insurrection soldiers to go look for them. Back at Blood Gulch, The Reds try to make a eulogy for the death of their teammate. Unfortunately, nobody can figure out the right words to say. Simmons, however, walks up to them and is overjoyed that they are talking about him. He tells Sarge to finish his eulogy. However, Sarge says that Simmons was always there for work and talked a lot, much to Simmons' dismay.
Team A secure the Sarcophagus and make their great escape.
As Epsilon attempts to get some one-on-one time with Tex, Sarge comes up with a plan to deal with the seismic activity. Meanwhile, Team A moves on to the next phase of their plan.
After fixing the tank, Tex talks to Church about her origins. Meanwhile, Team A fight their way out of the city streets in hold of the briefcase.
In order to obtain a bomb, Grif harshly insults the Blues. As a result, Tex reveals her bomb to the other Blues. She uses the foul-mouthed bomb to get back at the Reds. Meanwhile, the Director and the Counselor speak with their new creation.
As the seismic activity of the earthquakes begin to rise at an alarming rate in Blood Gulch, the Reds and Blues prepare for their imminent doom. Meanwhile, York and North Dakota discuss the recent changes at Project Freelancer; questioning if they are really "the good guys".
As Blood Gulch begins to tear apart, Epsilon says his final goodbyes to Tex, now understanding her true purpose. He is suddenly, and unexpectedly, rescued by some familiar faces. Meanwhile, the Director gives Carolina a very important task.
Initial teaser trailer for Red vs Blue Season 10
Drafted is a special episode of Red vs. Blue where the Reds and Blues are sent into Halo: Reach: Firefight.
Halo 4 launch date revealed! How will you remember it? In this exclusive Rooster Teeth video, Sarge gets a hold of some very important information about Halo 4, and he wants to keep it from the Blues at all costs.
Mark your calendars—the Halo 4 launch date is revealed! In this exclusive Rooster Teeth video, Grif wants to make sure his schedule is absolutely clear for the launch of Halo 4. But first he has to convince Sarge to give him the day off.
Simmons discovers that Grif is missing, ruining Sarge's good mood. Meanwhile, at Blue Base, Church and Tucker criticize Caboose's organizational skills.
While Simmons and Sarge ponder the crudely written ransom note, the Blues begin to think that it's getting too quiet at the other end of the canyon.
Sarge interprets the ransom note's instructions of "make no attempt to contact the authorities" as "call Command immediately." And the radio in Caboose's helmet reveals a surprising turn of events.
After the surprise attack by the Reds, Tucker proposes a plan that unites the opposing teams in search of Grif.
In their joint search for Grif, the Reds and Blues encounter the Blue Grunts, which makes Sarge very nervous. Will Tucker placate the single-minded zealots enough to ask for directions?
With the surprising help of the Grunts, the Reds and Blues finally make it to the city to see the guy. But will they actually find Grif?
Sarge discovers a mysterious wall while the Blues receive a new shipment.
Church and Tucker fight over who will fly the helicopter while Sarge tries to think of ways to conquer the wall.
Simmons and Lopez try to infiltrate the Blue Base while Sarge continues trying to figure what's behind the wall.
As York and his A.I., Delta, attempt to pick a lock, Caboose and Sarge bring Epsilon up to date on recent events that led up to his escape.
Due to York's failure to open the "Ieader's hangar", Carolina and her team, consisting of: Washington, North Dakota, South Dakota, and C.T., infilitrate the main hangar of an Insurrectionist spacecraft full force.
As Carolina regroups the Reds and Blues, C.T. negotiates with the enemy. Meanwhile, the Freelancers travel to a new location, in order to locate the leader.
While the Reds and Blues make a pit stop at Zanzibar, the Mother of Invention battles it out with the Insurrectionist flagship the Staff of Charon.
After their return from their mission at the UNSC Space Recycling Station, North Dakota introduces his new A.I., Theta, to the other Freelancers. The Director soon after establishes a simulation test for North and Theta, in order to study the A.I.'s unique abilities.Meanwhile, at the Wind Power Facility, the Red Team specualte on the future actions of Carolina and Washington.
At the Wind Power Facility, Carolina and Washington continue their investigation on the Director's whereabouts and discuss his intentions on the use of the Freelancer A.I.s., while being watched by Tucker and Epsilon. Meanwhile, during a Freelancer lecture class, Maine's A.I., Sigma, takes interest on the subject of the fourth stage of A.I. rampancy: "Metastability".
After discovering C.T.'s location, the Director sends Carolina on a mission to retrieve C.T.'s armor. Meanwhile, York, North Dakota, and Washington discuss the topic of the Alpha A.I.. At the Wind Power Facility, Tucker and Caboose question Epsilon about his Freelancer origins.
The Reds and Blues are on the road again, and Project Freelancer prepares for a little payback.
Fighting fire with fire.
Project Freelancer sends in the big guns for some repo work.
The Reds and Blues make some interesting discoveries.
Carolina faces past demons while Church rides shotgun...ish.
The Reds and Blues return home. Meanwhile, Carolina attempts to obtain some additional A.I.
Carolina goes under the knife and prepares for her A.I. implantation.
The cast of Red vs. Blue lays down essential survival tips for navigating the internet, warning the viewers about identity thieves and other hazards.
The RvB Science Team discusses the Higgs Boson. Watch now and learn absolutely nothing about the thing that created absolutely everything.
What do you get when you combine Halo 4, the Election, a musical number and Red vs. Blue? This very special PSA. Do your duty as an American and watch it now! Then go vote and play Halo 4!
In an unknown location, Washington is heard creating a journal entry. Admitting that it has been a while since doing one, Wash decides to get up to speed: he recalls the corruption of Project Freelancer, its demise, his job as a Recovery agent, and Project Freelancer's misuse of the Reds and Blues as cannon fodder for their Freelancer agents. The only people Wash could trust was the Reds and Blues and together, they succeeded in bringing down Project Freelancer and the Director once and for all. Wash then mentions the fact that they became shipwrecked while on their way home, and fears that if help doesn't come soon, someone else may find them. Wash talks to the group - Comm tower S11 Finishing his entry, Wash hears the tank fire and sees that Sarge and Simmons are using it on their own base, with Grif still inside. Wash asks why Sarge has the tank, but quickly realizes Caboose gave it to the Reds. Sarge says that he's renovating their base, and also mentions the Blues' unfair advantage, due to the fact that their base lies under the crashed ship. Wash informs the group that they all need to ration their food supply, as they need to repair a communications dish to call for help before they run out of food. Afterwards, Caboose and Wash take the tank back to their base, in order to have a word with Tucker.
Wash and Caboose leave for Blue base to confront Tucker. Meanwhile, the Reds discuss a dilemma about their base.
Sarge lays down a few ground rules regarding his personal space, while Wash comforts a sad Caboose.
While depressed over the departure of his best friend, Caboose comes across something mysterious.
As Washington and Tucker begin work on the communications tower, Sarge activates Red Team's newest addition.
The Reds and Blues work together to repair the communications tower. Afterwards, Caboose introduces his new friend.
The Blues get acquainted with Caboose's robotic pet Mantis, Freckles. Meanwhile, Sarge orders Grif and Simmons to recon on Blue Team.
Grif and Simmons execute their reconnaissance on Blue team.
Sarge overreacts over Simmons' departure and prepares a counterattack. Meanwhile, Washington and Tucker butt heads.
Tensions arise between the Red and Blue teams.
While Caboose gets accustomed with his new position, the Reds divulge a plan to eliminate Freckles.
Sarge, Grif, and Doc discover some interesting things inside the ship.
Simmons brings a source of social media to the canyon, while Lopez and Lopez 2.0 are given important information.
Donut cleans the Red base, while Wash and Tucker have a discussion over leadership.
Wash gives Caboose a present, while the Reds complete their construction on their Mantis.
Felix, the orange soldier, tells the Reds and Blues about where they landed and why it was so important for him to find them.
The Reds and Blues begin fortifying their defenses for an imminent attack. Meanwhile, Lopez 2.0 gets a dastardly plan.
The Reds and Blues engage in a fierce battle against Locus and the Federal Army.
Tucker, Caboose, Grif, and Simmons join the New Republic army in order to rescue their friends.
Game Changer is a Red vs. Blue PSA that was designed to advertise "Ricochet", a gametype featured in Halo 4. It was first presented at RTX 2013 and its livestream. This PSA is considered the final episode of the Grifball series.
After realizing that the NSA have the ability to spy on gamers within first-person shooter video games, Simmons takes action to fight against them.
Prepare for the Halo Global Championship, kicking off this summer at RTX 2013!
The infiltration of a mining facility goes haywire for the New Republic.
Felix and Tucker take a group of Republic soldiers to blow up a Federal Army outpost.
Kimball makes a deal with the Reds and Blues to assemble a small team in five days to go rescue their friends before they are moved to the capital.
The Reds and Blues run into problems while forming their elite rescue team.
The Reds and Blues begin their training with their chosen recruits.
Kimball talks to Tucker about Felix's past and his connection to Locus.
The Reds and Blues begin their rescue mission ahead of schedule without the recruits.
The Red and Blue captains arrive at the compound and attempt to break in.
Weeks before their encounter with their friends, Wash, Sarge, Donut, and Lopez discover the Federal Army of Chorus' true intentions.
Together once again, the Reds and Blues learn the truth about Chorus' conflicting factions and come up with a solution to end the war. However, they are unexpectedly attacked.
Weeks before rescuing their friends, Carolina and Epsilon infiltrate an F.A.C. Munitions Plant in order to obtain data from a team of mercenaries.
Now reunited, Carolina and Epsilon inform the Blood Gulch Crew on the Mercenary team and the group plan out their next move.
The Blood Gulch Crew further analyze the manufactured alien tech.
The Blood Gulch Crew search the two halves of the UNSC ship at crash sites Bravo and Alpha.
After nearly being ambushed by a space pirate, the Blood Gulch Crew interrogate the enemy.
The Federal Army of Chorus and the New Republic prepare for their upcoming battle.
The Reds and Blues ponder on whether to accept Felix and Locus' deal. Meanwhile, the New Republic infiltrate Armonia.
The Blood Gulch Crew take on the Space Pirates, while the Federal Army and the New Republic battle it out.
After having the Feds and Rebels come to a truce, the Blood Gulch Crew uncover the secret behind the identity of Control.
Going to RTX 2014? Wash and Sarge have got you covered. They ultimately list several rules that you should follow, with the help of the other Reds and Blues, to help make RTX 2014 more enjoyable. The PSA then ends with the two wishing the viewer good luck at the convention.
Hey fellas, need some help with the ladies? Tucker and Simmons can be your wingmen! Just know that with their help... you'll probably be single forever.
The Reds and Blues are long overdue for a vacation, but "vacation" doesn't always mean relaxation. While Sarge and Caboose decide to go camping, Simmons and Grif decide to go to the Vegas quadrant. However, both groups encounter several issues that may ruin their vacation.
Red vs. Blue has an "exciting" announcement about the "brand new" and "innovative" way we are delivering the show to the audience.
The space pirates raid the UNSC Tartarus for prisoners to recruit into their ranks.
Grif searches for Kimball in the crowded city of Armonia, showing off just how much life has changed on Chorus since the civil war ended.
The Blood Gulch Crew seek help from Dr. Grey in order to gain more information on the alien temple.
Tucker, Sarge, Caboose, and Doctor Grey investigate the alien artifact left by the Space Pirates.
The Reds and Blues plan their next move after the activation of the alien temple.
The Blood Gulch Crew, Rebels and Feds head out on their missions, while the Chairman has a talk with Locus and Felix.
The space pirates take a deeper look into the jungle temple, while Sharkface creates a new look for himself.
Carolina, Dr. Grey, and the Blues discover secrets at the energy portal.
The Away Team has questions, Santa has answers… and a ridiculous name.
Both squads attempt to find a way out of their current situations.
Carolina battles Sharkface while the assault team execute their getaway.
Felix pursues a fleeing Doyle in order to obtain the key.
The Reds and Blues attempt to unite the Feds and Rebels while Carolina has a word with Epsilon.
The Reds and Blues have Doc hold a counseling session to try and improve Doyle and Kimball's relationship while Locus asks Counselor about the Meta.
The Space Pirates attack Armonia, forcing the Reds and Blues to make a swift getaway plan.
The Reds and Blues must make a sacrificial choice in order to escape the Capital.
The people of Chorus have lost so much. If they don't act soon, they'll lose everything.
It's the rematch of the century. Place your bets.
The Freelancers have done their part. Now it's up to the Reds and Blues to finish it.
One final push.
Have you ever wanted MORE Rooster Teeth? Do you want to try it all FREE for 30 days? Then Simmons and Grif have some important info for you.
Join Sarge as he celebrates the holidays with tunes you (sort of) know and love. Suck it Blues!
The Red vs. Blueniverse is filled with stories. This... is the first of many.
You never know who you'll meet in basic training.
There can only be one Sarge, but many can apply for the job opening.
Captain Flowers finds the last piece to his little operation and moves it to a a quiet little box canyon in the middle of nowhere. I think everything is going to work out just fine.
Some would describe the Reds and Blues as a bunch of "blockheads". This statement has never been more appropriate.
The Reds of Blood Gulch Outpost #1 aren't the only soldiers in the galaxy hunting down dirty Blues...
Red Army Unit FH57 has stumbled upon Blood Gulch. Their primary directive? Destroy all the Blues. Their game plan? Terrible.
The stunning conclusion to the epic trilogy nobody ever asked for.
Paint the town red.
Complications may arise.
There are no rewards or punishments.
Attention soldiers! The [ENEMY COLOR] Army is upon us! Only YOU can stop them! Join the [FRIENDLY COLOR] Army today!
The top of the Freelancer leader board is taking on the scariest mute in the galaxy. All bets are off! It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!
Tensions run high between mortal enemies! Locked in a room with each other, they will have to put aside their differences to escape. Little do they know, they might have more in common than they think..
Friendship is a deep and multi-layered concept... that Caboose will happily teach you everything about.
Towards the end of the Blood Gulch Chronicles, Omega made his way into the minds of several of the Reds and Blues... and what he saw cannot be unseen.
While trapped inside the Epsilon Storage Unit, Church relived multiple iterations of his memories in an attempt to reunite his ex-girlfriend, Tex. Every iteration was different... but those differences weren't always intentional.
Red vs. Blue: Episode 18: Red vs. Blue: The Musical
Everyone talks about the great adventures of the Reds and Blues, but have you ever stopped to think about what they did in their down time? It's really... really stupid.
The battle between the Reds and Blues won't be fought with traditional weaponry... it will be fought with the sickest of beats and the most wicked of rhymes.
The agents of Project Freelancer were the best of the best, but even the best have their worst.
Agents Ohio, Idaho, and Iowa have been sent on a top secret mission. It's a mission so secret... even they don't know what they're doing.
Since the beginning of Blood Gulch, the iconic UNSC Warthog could be flipped with the push of a button... But surely it's not that easy.
Season 15 of Red vs Blue kicks off with a bang. In the wake of a violent assault on a UNSC supply depot, one reporter (Dylan Andrews) is determined to find out the true motivations of its colorful attackers: a villainous gang known as the Reds and Blues.
IDA Reporter Dylan Andrews begins her search for the Reds and Blues in Blood Gulch Canyon with the help of a new cameraman.
The search for the Reds and Blues takes Dylan and Jax to the crashed remains of Project Freelancer. While Dylan struggles to justify her continuing search against a lack of progress, a break in the story finally comes in unexpected visitors.
Dylan’s search concludes on the Planet Chorus, the last known hang out of the Reds and Blues before they vanished and embarked on a galactic crime spree. Stonewalled by an administration that doesn't trust the press, Dylan finds herself going to extreme measures to gain access to Chorus’ important figures.
Investigative Journalist Dylan Andrews sits down with the notorious Reds and Blues to finally hear the full story of their actions since Chorus.
Investigative Journalist Dylan Andrews sits down with the notorious Reds and Blues to finally hear the full story of their actions since Chorus.
On the search for Church, the Reds and Blues face their deepest fears in a haunted city.
It's all been leading to this. On a desert planet in the middle of nowhere, the Reds and Blues find themselves face to face with the truth of their colorful imposters. The truth is revealed, and it's something they never saw coming.
The Reds and Blues get to know the Blues and Reds better, and discover a familier face among their ranks.
Agents Carolina and Washington have successfully followed the trail of missing Freelancers to the beach house of an former associate, Agent Illinois. While digging through their past hasn’t yielded any revelations, it has managed to reopen old wounds for Carolina.
Blocked by the Reds and Blues, Dylan decides to try and seek answers on her own. Sarge finally gets a shot at stardom.
In a box canyon in the middle of nowhere, two teams are locked in stalemate over a game of capture the flag. This is Blue vs Red, the Desert Gulch Chronicles.
A pair of Freelancers break the stalemate in the action-packed finale of the Desert Gulch Chronicles.
The Reds and Blues begin to suspect their colorful counterparts of sinister designs.
With the fate of the Reds and Blues hanging in the balance, one robot boldly goes where no one has gone before.
Sarge finally gets his wish as the Blues and Reds deal with an unexpected intruder. The gang learns the hard truth about a lost teamate.
Free from their confinement; Carolina, Washington and Locus make plans for the gang's escape. Sarge struggles with difficult orders.
The Reds and Blues are shaken in the aftermath of their daring escape. Dylan phones a friend for answers about Loco's crazy machine.
It's all out war between the Reds and Blues and their evil counterpartss. The gang must overcome terrible odds to stop Temple before it's too late.
It's Red vs. Red and Blue vs. Blue in the action-packed penultimate episode of Season 15. Temple is on the verge of accomplishing his synister goals and there is only one group of primary-colored soldiers who can stop him.
Season 15 concludes with a mysterious visit from an old friend. Dylan finds her ending.
A successor to "Caboose's Guide to Making Friends", this episode describes how Caboose has coped with relocating so many times throughout the series, including through Blood Gulch, Valhalla, and Chorus.
What does it mean to empathize? Join Red Team's resident robot in learning about the inner workings of the mind, feelings, and social interactions! Some assembly required.
Finding a new home can be a long and difficult process, but Sister and Grif have you covered! Simmons, however, has something to say about the change of scenery.
Going on a trip abroad can be scary; luckily Grif and Simmons have some advice that will surely come in handy.
Tough love is the only love you losers can hope for, am I right?
Sometimes life is hard. Other times, it's as easy as 1-2-3... 4 and 5.
The beginning of a new adventure for the Reds and Blues picks up right where the last one left off... a conversation about where to get lunch. Unbeknownst to our heroes, powerful forces have taken an interest in their debate.
The gang goes out for pizza. Grif attempts to stop the plot from moving forward. The return of a deceased teammate throws all their plans in peril.
Adrift in time and space, the Reds and Blues attempt to make sense of Donut's crypic message. Sarge reopens old wounds. Caboose has a time machine.
Tucker and Sister go on a side quest to settle a romantic argument. Grif yells at children.
Sarge and Simmons take their new Red Team recruits on a mission to settle an old score. Powerful forces meet on Starseeds to discuss the Reds and Blues.
Grif and Doc struggle to invent pizza. Tucker and Sister get wasted.
Two of the Reds and Blues engage in mortal combat against King Atlus' champion. Huggins says hi.
On the planet of Chorus, Agent Carolina helps Washington with the final stages of his recovery. Meanwhile in the distant past, Grif attempts to put down roots.
Agents Carolina and Washington visit with Dylan's time travel expert. Grif gets his steps in.
Caboose shares his vacation photos. In the distant past, the King of England receives an unexpected guest.
Huggins makes her plea to the Cosmic Powers. Grif's wish comes true.
The Reds and Blues reunite behind the scenes of Jax's movie production. Grif attempts to wrangle cats.
The Cosmic Powers reveal the mythic origins of their war against Chrovos. The Reds and Blues learn their part in the battle to come.
Tucker struggles to cope with the truth about Washington. A sleeping giant wakes.
In the season finale of the Shisno Paradox, Carolina leads the Reds and Blues in a time travel rescue mission to save Agent Washington.
August 3rd, 4th and 5th at the Austin Convention Center -- Be there, or be Blue!
Sarge and Grif are here to show you how to Reduce, Refuse, and Reload your Reliable shotgun! Also something about Recycling.
Grif and Simmons attempt to discuss the importance of Diversity while simultaneously trying not to offend everyone.
Simmons and Lopez have some very important information about the TRUE holidays we should all be celebrating.
Join the Reds and Blues as they discover the finer details of art, and learn proper museum etiquette!
The Reds and Blues ruin the universe.
Donut learns what an innuendo is.
Wash resigns as financier of The Giant Walking Cannon Funeral Company.
People get shot. Only Simmons seems to mind.
Wash takes up freelancing.
Sarge gets a 2-for-1 deal on pelicans this week!
Huggins is information and cannot be destroyed.
Caboose's Guide to Re-Zipping Time.
A leader steps up.
Wash would like to be shot. One shooting, please.
Sarge hates boredom. Grif hates excitement. Lopez hates Lopez.
Chrovos has a plan. It comes back to bite them.
Grif and Simmons instruct you on how to keep your Reds and Blues vibrant and clean!
Be the change you want to see! Sarge and Simmons demonstrate how to have your voice heard through internet petitions!
After 17 long seasons, the Reds and Blues think up new and interesting ways to keep things fresh!
Join us for the high-flying, daring, adventurous hit new gameshow on this side of the galaxy! Your host Caboose pits Red Team against trial after trial in: The Price Wheel of Cash!
After years of fighting, the Reds and Blues go to check in on their personal healthcare at the doctor!
Join Grif and Simmons as they discuss an important step to adulthood: moving out!
The times have changed, and technology has shifted the way the world works! Join Simmons and Grif as they demonstrate the wonders of new tech!
The internet can be a dangerous and volatile place! Simmons guides you on how to prepare yourself for the harsh cyber-land of the web, in Cyber Insecurities!
Harsh weather is upon us! Join Doc as he shows you how to prepare for being snowed in! Just be careful to look out for the dreaded cabin fever!
Prepare yourself for the end times! Join the Reds as they instruct you on how to work through numerous doomsday scenarios in End Preppers!
Want to know how to wrangle the fresh voice talent for your show? Sarge and Simmons have the perfect guide to working with Amateur Voice Actors!
The very best takes from the professionals on Red vs. Blue!
Take a quick, behind the scenes look at the latest season of Red vs Blue. Buckle up, we're going ZERO to sixty this fall!
Before Washington can secure a strange alien artifact, a mysterious syndicate known as Viper attacks his base. Meanwhile, Shatter Squad races to pick up a new recruit.
Carolina acquires a new team in Shatter Squad; do they have what it takes? Zero and Phase track the coordinates to an ancient temple. What lies inside? There's only one way to find out.
While investigating the incident at Falcon Base, West and Raymond encounter a formidable foe. Shatter Squad prepares to go head to head with Viper.
Failing on all fronts, Shatter Squad is at odds with themselves as they reflect on their battle with Viper.
Shatter Squad races to a secluded Fort Operating Base. The Mission: Protect Lavernius Tucker and prevent his sword from falling into the clutches of Viper.
West reveals more about his past while Shatter Squad licks their wounds. Zero gives the team one final taunt.
Zero is moments away from achieving the ultimate power! Can Shatter Squad stop him in time? The clocks ticking...
Locked in the deadliest fight of their lives, does Shatter Squad have what it takes to save the fate of the World?
The OG crew meets the Zero crew to tackle a new project in celebration of Master Chief coming to Fortnite.
A 17 year long rivalry comes to an end! Every wonder why we're here?
Grif and Sarge prepare for the arrival of Master Chief. That is until a "sneaky blue" gets there first.
Agents Raymond and One call the team together for a very important meeting to discuss bringing in Shatter Squad’s newest member: a pet.
The Squad stages an intervention with spooky results.
Remember when this show was about a bunch of ragtag misfits walking and talking about life's greatest mysteries?
Raymond cooks up a budget-conscious outing for the entire family.
The ever-bickering Phase and East are forced to spend some time in each other’s shoes, literally. Spoiler alert: they hate it.
It's exactly what we said it is.
Please don't start rumors.
How does a power-hungry megalomaniac start his day? Shatter Squad has a plan to take down Viper, the only question is when to strike!
Close the door! You're lettin' in bugs!
We wish you a special guestmas!
Murder! Suspense! Intrigue! Breakfast for dinner...
Heading back to work after a long time can be rough. Agents Washington and Carolina have some tips for how to manage.
Simmons, Grif and Sarge are here to tell you all about Microplastics. Or was it Macroplastics?
Doc and Simmons want to shine a light on a holiday that really should be talked about more.
Grif and Sarge are here to provide some "helpful" driving tips! Here's one: Don't get your driving tips from Grif and Sarge.
Agent Washington and Sarge want to help make YOU better at first person shooters! We'll let you decide whose technique is better...
Kids these days, am I right? It's hard to keep up with all the hip new lingo on the internet. Don't worry, Simmons and Grif have the solution!
In the Season Finale of our 2022 PSAs, Simmons and Doc are here to talk to you about finances. Just... maybe don't take their word for it.
RvB is back for its ​final​ season. Written by Burnie Burns and directed by Matt Hullum, Red vs. Blue​:​ Restoration completes a story told over 20 years. Watch the Prologue now and come back this fall when “Red vs​.​ Blue: Restoration” premieres.
When the universe’s greatest villain returns in a terrifying new form, old adversaries, the Reds and Blues of Blood Gulch, will have to set aside their differences to save the galaxy one last time.
Church and Grif explain that, before Red vs. Blue was created, Computer Gaming World included a previous Rooster Teeth video on a DVD and people began visiting their website. Wishing to take advantage of the visitors, they went through multiple ideas for a series, mostly clichéd film genres, before settling on Red vs. Blue. Including: B.G.P.D. Blood Gulch's Finest, Hunting with Sarge, and Soldiers of Passion.
In a similar video to the St. Patrick’s Day Video, Donut now tries to convince Doc and Tucker that he is allowed to pinch them for not having a flag on Flag Day. He then suggests such festive games as "raise the flagpole". Available on the season 2 DVD.
Donut attempts to convince Doc and Tucker that they must pinch him for not wearing green armor on St. Patrick's Day. Available on the season 2 DVD.
In a parody of the 2004 U.S. Presidential Election, two campaign ads for Church and one for Sarge have the characters promising improvements to the canyon, or attacking one another. Available on the season 3 DVD.
The Red vs. Blue cast display stories of Red and Blue battles from throughout history. Including: Redicus vs. Bluetavius, Le Rouge Contre Le Bleu, The Blue Ballad of the Red Canyon Kid, and Rhapsody in Lightish Red, Part 1.
Caboose Dies, How Babies Are Made, Let There Be Light, and Outside Looking In
Burnie discusses what The Bump is and how the guys work around it.
Episode for the RvB sponsors from the Bare Naked Ladies. Argument between back row seats and front row seats.
Episode for the RvB sponsors from the Bare Naked Ladies. Provides advice and tips to improve your concert going experience.
Episode for the RvB sponsors from the Bare Naked Ladies. Church and Simmons attempt to greet the audience, but are interrupted by obvious attempts at subliminal messaging.
Characters attempt to shoot a commercial for the Penny Arcade Expo.
Grif and Simmons talk to A-Kon attendees about the rules to follow while at the convention.
Damien Fahey is visiting the Blue team, and tries to talk Church into letting him drive Sheila, when the Reds show up to berate Church for not following the MTV formula. Created to introduce a music video on the show, as part of a special segment done on Rooster Teeth Productions.
At Grif's annoyance, Sarge uses his opportunity on the Forbes.com website to push his new video gaming/money making service, with testimonials by Tucker and Doc.
This video features Scott Guthrie, the General Manager for Microsoft Silverlight. Sarge was expecting Scott to attack the Blue Team but since Sarge considers General Managers as pencil-necked weaklings he decided to paint Donut blue. Scott briefly explains the features of Silverlight before being shown around Blood Gulch. On encountering Donut they let Scott shoot Donut thinking that he would miss. They were surprised to find out that being a General Manager had a lot in common to shooting Donut: being accurate (shooting Donut in the visor), knowledgeable (knowing it was Donut), having fun (shooting Donut in the first place) and being thorough (shooting Donut again then using a grenade on him).
Church, Grif, and Caboose all prepare to head to Scotland for the EIEF festival. Church asks Grif and Caboose to research Scotland so that they do not seem like tourists. When they are unable to find any satisfactory information, Church gets Headquarters to send them an expert.
Church and Tucker introduce a series of RvB videos designed for different countries in Europe (and Japan) and comment on them.
This video was created as a pre-show reel before the screening of Iron Man 2 at the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema. Simmons finds Grif and Sarge standing on the edge of a cliff. Grif explains that Sarge is practicing flying, inspired by the movie Iron Man 2. Grif reasons that like Iron Man, Sarge is wearing red power armor, and has painted the highlights golden to further match Iron Man's suit, so he should be able to fly. Simmons points out that Sarge is missing a critical component: jet boots. Regardless, Sarge runs off the cliff. Grif insists that Sarge will momentarily fly back up, but Simmons goes to fill out a "new sergeant requisition form", as the scene fades to black. A few seconds later, Sarge flies up on jet boots, tells the audience to turn off their cell phones, then flies away.
The two teams gather in the Red Base to watch the Halo 2 E3 2003 trailer, and comment on it.
Tucker and Church go to the 2003 Machinima Film Festival in New York City.
Sarge gathers the teams to make an announcement about the upcoming campaign: that it’s going to be great.
Church and Grif present a series of comparisons between real life and the Internet.
Celebrating Christmas 2004 in the wasteland without Church, the teams reminisce about the previous Christmas, and how he ruined it for them all.
The teams prepare for the 2005 Sundance Film Festival.
The teams try to come up with resolutions for the first annual "Blood Gulch Resolution-off" as the new year approaches The winners will be the team with the best resolutions; the losers will actually have to follow through with their resolutions. The Blues eventually attack when they realize they have little chance of winning.
Caboose, Sarge, Simmons, and Church demonstrates the rules the custom Halo 3 game, Grifball. Grif spontaneously appears when the players grab the bomb, including Caboose.
Church joins an upcoming game of Halo 3, but disagrees on the type of game that Simmons chose. Church asks Grif to veto, but he is unable to. Several attempts to get Tucker to veto prove fruitless as he fails to respond in time, and the game is accepted. Tucker arrives a moment later, and is dismayed that they were going to have to play Simmons' game. This was the first out of 2 Rock the Vote PSAs made for Xbox live.
The people at Rats Nest tell what the election results were. It showed that most teams voted for themselves, and went on till Standoff. Bill (the second announcer) told Jim (first announcer) that Standoff had 7 players said that there will be a winner this time because there is an uneven number (even though Jim interrupted him to say that as well). When he reports it, he says that the vote was 3 to 3, and the 7th player didn't vote. It turns out the person who didn't vote was Grif. He said it was too hard and couldn't do it, even though Simmons downloaded the form for him. Church even mentions that Caboose voted for a cat, but still managed to vote. This PSA was the 2nd of the 2 made for Xbox Live, and featured Donut and Tex. At the end, Bill asked if he can switch back to sports, saying that in Grifball, there is always a winner.
The reds and blues pick their new teams and explore the new bases and equipment (Valhalla).
Caboose explains how he kept busy in the Red vs. Blue off-season.
Depicts the Halo2 testing of Episode 35 What's Mine Is Yours.
Once when Sarge was a young boy....
The deleted DVD episode portrays the characters dressing up in Halloween costumes - all dress as Caboose (most popular character). The episode continues to play on the confusion created by all the characters being dressed the same.
A song written by Church, for Church and about Church.
Rejected video for Spike TV Video Game Awards. Sarge accepting an award???
The famous interview on the famous show.
Sarge and Grif give some pointers for anyone moving to Reach.
Sarge tries to get a leg up on the Blues before their move to Halo: Reach.
The Reds head for the Halo: Reach version of Valhalla, but Grif makes a wrong turn and ends up in Firefight mode.
In the conclusion of the mini series, Sarge finds the Red base, Simmons and Grif.
Members of RoosterTeeth.Com submit their best impressions of various RvB characters to win a box set of Blood Gulch Chronicles and the Reconstruction DVD!
The first batch of entries for the Kinetic Type Contest.
The second batch of entries for the Kinetic Type Contest.
The third round of entries for the Kinetic Type Contest.
In anticipation of the release of Halo 2, this video was released on Bungie’s website. In it, Sarge shows a video of supposed improvements to vehicles, weapons, and bases in reference to their actual updates in the new game, though they are either ineffective or make things worse from the viewpoint of a soldier defending himself.
Members of the gulch compete in Halo 2 against Bungie Studios, and are defeated.
The Blue Team traipse through the new maps of Halo 2 in order to find their parked car.
Grif attempts to leave with Simmons to see the launch of the Xbox 360, only to be sidetracked by Sarge.
After the launch of the Xbox 360, the teams have to deal with various strangers walking through the battle looking to use the console’s special online features. Released exclusively on the Xbox Live Marketplace for download.
Released in high-definition on the Xbox Live Marketplace and on the general site, Simmons and Sarge, in an attempt to calm down avid fans waiting for the public Beta test of Halo 3, play them a video introduction in which the cast of Red vs. Blue welcome them to the Beta,[2] and point out many of its features as well as possible problems.
Available on limited edition Halo 3 branded Microsoft Zune media devices, this video was also created with the Halo 3 Beta engine. The cast go over the various functions of the Zune, though they lament how the local radio stations (in particular three ran by Sarge, Tucker and Doc) they can receive have poor content, and the pictures they can share are only of Sarge injuring Church over and over again.
On July 31, 2007, an unnamed, five-episode series premiered on five retail websites, including those of Best Buy, Circuit City, and Gamestop. These episodes detail the Red Team's transition from Halo 2 to Halo 3;[3] Sarge introduces his men to the new graphics, weapons, and vehicles. Segments are intermixed with comments made by Church and Tucker, who are spying on their activities.
Sarge calls Church, Tucker, Grif and Simmons together to explain Master Chief's image wants to protected and that a new understudy will be chosen. After explaining the various criteria each candidate was judged on, Sarge eventually reveals the new understudy to be Tex. As compensation, he offers the others roles as stunt doubles with screen tests consisting of them being shot or blown up.
The Legendary Edition of Halo 3 contains a bonus disc with vast amount of extra content, including a special re-release of Episode 1 using the same audio, but re-filmed on the Valhalla map in the Halo 3 multiplayer. As the disc containing the video was available to all ages, every curse word was subsequently bleeped.
The group journeys through the newest Halo 3 maps. They get a grand tour with Guilty Spark's stunt double, Ralph, exploring the Foundry, Rat's Nest, and Standoff maps, and describing the capabilities of Forge. In Foundry, Simmons creates a mancannon for firing objects at Grif. Ralph explains the layout of Rat's Nest while discouraging Church from touching a twenty megaton warhead. The Reds are impressed by the base in Standoff, which Caboose claims to have created. Ralph concludes by announcing the release date for the maps.
The RvB guys get an early look at a new type of mission featuring "regular" soldiers like them... or so they think. The first of three episodes featuring Halo 3: ODST.
Sarge reminisces about his former mentor, and the guys worry about who or what they'll have to face in their ODST scrimmage match.
The RvB guys try out some new uniforms, and Church passes on some important information he heard about a certain legendary sergeant.
This video was originally created for Microsoft Puzzlehunt 11 but was then used by Rodger Wolfson for Bungie.net users to obtain the Recon armour for Halo 3. It starts with Church commenting about the players trapped in the game while Tucker gets shot by Simmons, Grif and Caboose. Next we see Sarge shocked to see that Donut is trapped in a computer. Sarge comments that Donut looks "digitally and computerized looking", although really Donut is in the real world. Sarge calls helpdesk and is told that the players will need to solve enough puzzles to save the world. Caboose says that the alien likes puzzles and wants to play a game like Duck, Duck, Goose except that it involves shooting the characters. Caboose then explains that the alien would have a flag and a jetpack and the players would have to work out what the alien is trying to say. When Tucker asks "And why do we want to play this?", Caboose replies "Would you rather play ... tag?" and the alien throws a plasma grenade at Tucker.
Sarge tells the Reds they are going "home," and Grif finds out to his chagrin that it isn't the home he was hoping for. This video shows off the new Blood Gulch from Halo Reach.
The guys from Red vs. Blue explain almost everything you need to know about Bungie's anniversary... kinda.
Grif and Simmons attempt to present a warning about weapons of mass destruction as if they were a drug, advising viewers not to fall into peer pressure. However, they are repeatedly interrupted by Church sniping at them.
Tucker explains that there will not be a new video this week (due to the release of a Halo 2 trailer) while Caboose cleans his armor, following the events of episode 14.
Church and Grif provide a Point/Counterpoint session on the subject of getting a tattoo. Church argues against tattoos, while Grif argues for them. Using a bulleted list, Church notes simply that tattoos are permanent, and that all people are idiots, so therefore in ten years will regret their decision. Grif in turn counters that as long as viewers make good choices and avoid clichés such as barbed wire, band logos and Asian lettering and symbols, tattoos are cool. After attempting to display Grif's poor expertise on the subject by revealing he has the comic book character Blade tattooed to his neck, Church suggests viewers get tattoos of their "favorite online cartoon", followed by images of Strong Bad and Penny Arcade and Church taking offense. Notably, Church's voice actor, Burnie Burns, does not have any tattoos, while Grif's voice actor, Geoff Ramsey, has many.
As the Reds and Blues battle in front of the Red base, Simmons declares his need to leave. Following teasing from Grif and Donut, Simmons reveals his specific reason: to attend the Microsoft Professional Developers Conference back on Earth. As Grif demands an incredulous Donut cease fire, the Blues overhear mention of the corporation, and in turn stop shooting to approach the Reds. While Donut wonders how a single company can briefly stop a war, Sarge arrives to demand why the battle has stopped. He then reveals that he used to write speeches for Steve Ballmer, including the one Ballmer used at the last Conference, in which he chanted "Developers, developers, developers" multiple times. Due to a conflict over the exact number of times in which the word should have been repeated, Sarge was demoted to serve in Blood Gulch.
In a parody of the RIAA, the teams formally announce their intention to sue everybody who has ever visited the official Red vs. Blue website. As piracy of free videos is blamed for the declining sales of a then-unavailable DVD, it is said that $45 million is the expected judgment per case. Though Grif is the only one to argue against the logic of such action, his points are immediately ignored, and Church notes the intentions to sue him and other Red vs. Blue cast members in the process.
After an interrupted introduction, the teams complain about the number of NASA-sent space exploration rovers in the gulch, noting it would be much easier to call them using a phone if the they want to find out what the canyon is like. The rovers are seen terrorizing the inhabitants of the gulch, as Caboose is frightened by a rover's large claw, and Sheila must fend off multiple drones hitting on her. All but Grif are annoyed, as he has been able to adjust a rover to effectively make him a high-powered skateboard, and makes a ramp.
Tucker comes across Sarge, who is upset after learning he is in millions of dollars of tax debt to the Internal Revenue Service. Doc attempts to offer advice, but ends up getting shot at when he suggests deducting weapons and vehicles claiming they actually have to use them first.
Unhelpful viewers tips are given on what to buy mothers for Mother's Day, beginning with a display of what could go wrong, where Grif has bought his mother, roleplayed by Simmons, a series of gifts the latter despises. A scene is then shown in which Caboose, as the son, has made Donut, as his mother, a coffee mug which has already been broken and left elsewhere. Satisfied with the performances, Sarge then suggests an assortment of possible gifts using a scrolling list which moves too quickly to be read.
Church, Donut, and Caboose present various fireworks safety tips for the 4th Of July. As the scenes progress, Caboose commonly has mistaken a grenade for another object, leading to a large explosion. The safety tips culminate in Caboose accidentally shooting Donut with a bottle rocket, played by Sheila.
For Thanksgiving, Sarge announces his plan to outdo the turducken with his own improbably complex creation, while Grif and Church try to point out the difference between Red vs. Blue and Red and Blue states to confused viewers as the 2004 general election loomed.
In another Point/Counterpoint debate, Church argues against celebrating Christmas, while Grif argues for it.
Grif and Simmons present various tips to combat the cold and flu, though they have little expert knowledge of the subject. To supplement this, Doc appears to offer his own advice, though it becomes obvious that he considers many of the side effects of O'Malley's possession of him to be common ailments that are met with the cold and flu, along with a series of listed effects. It is revealed that Caboose has been suffering from avian influenza, from which he believes he can fly, and falls off a rock trying to demonstrate his ability. Finally, Donut advises to stay warm and avoid computer viruses. As Grif pretends to be sick himself, Sarge prepares his own unorthodox treatments.
Church and Simmons appear to suggest improvements to the Olympic Games to attract viewers after the boring 2006 Winter Olympics. First criticizing the new events, new ideas for games and improvements to previous ones are added by Sarge, among them the "Rocket Luge", the slalom using laser gates, and an increase in the number of polar bears.
The characters give some tips on how to survive the rising price of gasoline, such as the alternative of milk, though it is more expensive.
Grif, Simmons and Sarge share their plans for dealing with a zombie invasion with Doc, while the Blue Team pretends to be zombies to scare the Reds so they can capture the Red flag.
Simmons and Grif attempt to wish their viewers a Merry Christmas, but Doc warns them to be politically correct in order not to offend those who do not celebrate Christmas, and succeeds in convincing Simmons. Sarge ignores these warnings, but cannot complete his greeting due to various Xbox 360 features interrupting him, as the video was originally released for download to the console.
Church and Grif introduce a series of common mistakes made by moviegoers. Each of the situations features the characters at a movie theater watching the Halo Wars preview. In Situation #1, Andy complains loudly about the previews. In Situation #2, Caboose drinks too much of a small soda and needs to go to the bathroom, but the others won't let him out into the aisle. Later, he needs to go again, but eventually says he doesn't need to anymore, implying that he has wet himself. In Situation #3, Grif's sister annoys everyone by talking on her cell phone. It turns out she is talking to Donut, who is in the same theater. Finally, in Situation #4, Tucker's alien baby causes a racket, causing Simmons to berate Tucker. The baby responds by tearing out Simmons' spine. The PSA ends with Church describing his intent to go to a movie and videotape it. He and Grif then ironically lament that people who talk during the movie, "ruin the industry".
Grif and Simmons complain of the constantly advancing state of current technology, seemingly rendering each device obsolete shortly after release. Sarge argues that the best way for a gadget to remain high-tech is to never make it into the public's hands, and that money should be contributed to items that "don't exist, and hopefully never will". Some examples are HHDDVVDDBVD players, Red-ray discs and MP48s.
Church and Caboose present a series of examples of forum posts they'd like to see people start using, parodying stereotypical forum posts across a number of topics. Periodically, they switch to Sarge talking to Lopez about the plot of Lost.
Simmons introduces the achievement function from the Xbox 360 into Red vs. Blue, however Grif disapproves of this saying that they are stupid. Sarge arrives and upon discovering that Simmons got an achievement for making fun of Grif, he melee attacks Grif. The first hit earns him an achievement, but upon realizing that they can only be earned once, Sarge becomes upset and leaves. Grif then earns an achievement stating that there is no air in his suit. Subsequently he chokes and Simmons tells him that the achievements see all. They are interrupted by Caboose who declares that he has made "achievables" for Blue Team, and gives them to himself by saying "Bleep Bloop". Simmons becomes angry and leaves. The screen goes to the normal outro, but the video shows the episode goes on. After a few seconds the "Secret Bloop" is discovered, and if the user waits until the end of the video, they earn the "Last two minutes of my life back" achievement.
The Red Team discusses the current financial crisis, and prepares to offer suggestions on how to cope with the situation. Instead, Sarge and the Blue Team break in, discussing the bankruptcy of the Blue Team due to unsound financial decisions they had made. Not bearing to hear this, Grif runs to the Pawn shop to pawn his armor before the bank takes it away.
While the rest of the Red Vs. Blue team attempts to set up for Chapter 17 of Reconstruction, Caboose presents a PSA on Columbus Day. However, Caboose's attempts to discuss said holiday are full of misunderstandings and general absurdity, eventually leading a frustrated Simmons to turn off the camera and end the PSA. This video was released only to sponsors, but is also on the Reconstruction DVD.
Following the events of Reconstruction, the Reds sit down to celebrate Thanksgiving. Sarge attempts to follow the traditions of the first Thanksgiving, but with his only resources being first-grade reports he found online, makes some noticeable errors. Simmons set him straight about the spirit of Thanksgiving, inviting Caboose over to share the meal.
Caboose is sad that it's Valentines Day and Church is gone. According to Caboose, Church had always been his valentine in the past.
Simmons, Sarge and Caboose discuss what to do for the 6th anniversary of Red vs. Blue, and Rooster Teeth thanks the fans.
Sarge and Simmons give their best advice on how to deal with flammable situations.
In part 1, Sarge is forced by command to use some of the nearly 800 days of holiday time that he has stockpiled. Due to Grif having used all of his and Simmons' holiday time, the two remaining Red soldiers have to stay behind, but are then transferred to a snowbound base by command for the festive season.
In part 2, the Reds find that there is no heating in the base. To make matters worse for Simmons, Grif has signed up to every religion, so that he can have six days of rest per week, with the exception of Mondays. The Blue team, composed of Tucker, Caboose and Epsilon-Church, have also been transferred to a nearby base, due to the transfer of the Red team. They too are cold, and decide to attack the Reds.
Part 3 starts with Sarge sunbathing on the beach at Zanzibar, when he receives an urgent phone call from Simmons. Grif is refusing to help defend the base, due to his new beliefs, so Sarge offers up an unhelpful plan. Simmons eventually decides to negotiate with the Blues, who admit they are only attacking in order to keep warm, which Simmons uses to negotiate a ceasefire for the holiday. The episode ends with the teams standing around a large fire, remembering previous mishaps, and wishing each other a happy holiday.
Sarge and Simmons discuss season 8, showing off the new animation Rooster Teeth started using, and state that Red vs. Blue is the "single manliest show on the entire internet." To prove their point they show examples of some "manly" Rooster Teeth community members.
Grif and Simmons explain all about video games from where to buy them to what the different ratings mean.
Church and Sarge gives some tips on how to make a "successful" internet video.
Sarge and Church walk you through the upgrading process.
Sarge and Church discuss the proper etiquette for LAN parties.
Grif and Simmons give you the down-low on how to survive in today's job market.
Sarge and Simmons are ready to take PSAs to the next level! Rebooted with better EVERYTHING for modern audiences!
Tucker and Grif would like to talk to you about ASMR in this week's PSA.
WARNING!
In a world where movie trailers are the pinnacle of cinematic achievement, one trailer stands above the rest...
