TNT unveils it's new monthly all-night monster mash with The Reptile; Gorgo; The Mummy's Shroud; The Day Of The Triffids; and IT!.
Soylent Green (1973) – 8:00 PM; Crack in the World (1965) – 10:05 PM
Kingdom of the Spiders (1977) – 8:00 PM; The Vengeance of She (1968) – 10:05 PM
Ice Pirates (1984) – 8:00 PM; Demon Seed (1977) – 10:00 PM
Westworld (1973) – 8:00 PM; The Day of the Triffids (1962) – 10:00 PM; Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1941) – 12:00 AM; The Prodigal (1955) – 2:25 AM
Robinson Crusoe on Mars (1964) – 8:00 PM; 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) – 10:20 PM; Around the World Under the Sea (1966) – 1:20 AM; Things to Come (1936) – 3:45 AM
The Outer Limits: The Galaxy Being – 8:00 PM; The Outer Limits: The Architects of Fear – 9:05 PM; The Outer Limits: Cold Hands, Warm Heart – 10:10 PM; The Outer Limits: The Sixth Finger – 11:15 PM; The Outer Limits: The Man Who Was Never Born – 12:20 AM; The Outer Limits: The Zanti Misfits – 1:25 AM; The Outer Limits: Tourist Attraction – 2:30 AM; The Outer Limits: The Mutant – 3:35 AM; The Outer Limits: The Hundred Days of the Dragon – 4:40 AM
Penn & Teller host MonsterVision's "TNT Salutes the Outer Limits I." A noble scheme goes horribly awry when a group of scientists plan an elaborate hoax designed to frighten and ultimately unite humankind.
Penn & Teller host MonsterVision's "TNT Salutes the Outer Limits I." A horribly mutated man from Earth's bleak future travels back in time in an attempt to alter the past and save mankind from its hideous fate.
Message from Space (1978) – 8:00 PM; They Came from Beyond Space (1967) – 10:15 PM; Invisible Invaders (1959) – 12:10 AM; The Creeping Unknown (1955) – 1:35 AM; Thunderbirds Are Go! (1966) – 3:30 AM
Fear No Evil (1981) – 8:00 PM; Deadly Blessing (1981) – 10:00 PM; The Legend of Lizzie Borden (1975) – 12:15 AM; Windows (1980) – 2:15 AM; Hit and Run (1957) – 4:15 AM
The Ice Pirates (1984) – 8:00 PM; The Green Slime (1969) – 10:00 PM; Earth vs. the Flying Saucers (1956) – 11:55 PM; 20 Million Miles to Earth (1957) – 1:45 AM; U.F.O. (1956) – 3:45 AM
Midnight Lace (1960) – 11:00 PM Picture Mommy Dead (1966) – 1:15 AM A Reflection of Fear (1972) – 3:15 AM
The Lost Continent (1968) – 8:00 PM; Mysterious Island (1961) – 10:00 PM; The 7th Voyage of Sinbad (1958) – 12:15 AM; The Time Machine (1960) – 2:15 AM; Jack the Giant Killer (1962) – 4:30 AM
During the Civil War a group of Union soldiers, a Confederate and a civilian escape the stockade using a hot-air balloon and end up on a strange Pacific island. Penn & Teller host.
Taste the Blood of Dracula (1970) – 8:00 PM; Dracula A.D. 1972 (1972) – 10:00 PM; The Satanic Rights of Dracula (1973) – 12:15 AM; Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires (1974) – 2:00 AM; The Vampire and the Ballerina (1960) – 4:00 AM;
The Creeping Flesh (1973) – 1:00 AM; Curse of the Faceless Man (1958) – 3:00 AM; Pharaoh’s Curse (1957) – 4:30 AM
Robinson Crusoe on Mars (1964) – 1:20 AM; The Man from Planet X (1951) – 3:40 AM
The Outer Limits: Soldier – 8:00 PM; The Outer Limits: I, Robot – 9:05 PM; The Outer Limits: Nightmare – 10:10 PM; The Outer Limits: Demon with a Glass Hand – 11:15 PM; The Outer Limits: The Bellero Shield – 12:20 AM; The Outer Limits: Cry of Silence – 1:25 AM; The Outer Limits: A Feasibility Study – 2:30 AM; The Outer Limits: Don’t Open till Doomsday – 3:35 AM; The Outer Limits: The Chameleon – 4:45 AM
Cat People (1942) – 2:45 AM; The Curse of the Cat People (1944) – 4:14 AM
Superbeast (1972) – 8:00 PM; The Revenge of Frankenstein (1958) – 10:00 PM; Frankenstein Created Woman (1967) – 12:00 AM; It! (1967) – 2:00 AM; Doctor Blood’s Coffin (1961) – 4:00 AM
Superbeast (1972) – 8:00 PM; The Revenge of Frankenstein (1958) – 10:00 PM; Frankenstein Created Woman (1967) – 12:00 AM; It! (1967) – 2:00 AM; Doctor Blood’s Coffin (1961) – 4:00 AM
Superbeast (1972) – 8:00 PM; The Revenge of Frankenstein (1958) – 10:00 PM; Frankenstein Created Woman (1967) – 12:00 AM; It! (1967) – 2:00 AM; Doctor Blood’s Coffin (1961) – 4:00 AM
Superbeast (1972) – 8:00 PM; The Revenge of Frankenstein (1958) – 10:00 PM; Frankenstein Created Woman (1967) – 12:00 AM; It! (1967) – 2:00 AM; Doctor Blood’s Coffin (1961) – 4:00 AM
Superbeast (1972) – 8:00 PM; The Revenge of Frankenstein (1958) – 10:00 PM; Frankenstein Created Woman (1967) – 12:00 AM; It! (1967) – 2:00 AM; Doctor Blood’s Coffin (1961) – 4:00 AM
A stockbroker (Wings Hauser) is framed for murder apparently by his wife (Kathy Shower), ex-wife or lover (Linda Blair). (First feature: Caged Fury)
Co-hosted by: Elvira, Mistress of the Dark (Movie Macabre) When a mysterious corpse is accidentally dug up by a boy in a small town, a group of local teens starts acting very strangely. The adolescents, led by a girl named Angel (Linda Hayden), are convinced the corpse was once possessed. Hoping to get in touch with the devil through the body, the teens act out a series of demonic rituals that causes a stir among the townspeople. When word of the satanic activity spreads, certain parents start trying to lock up the kids behind the spooky stunts. (Second Feature: Posed for Murder)
Two guys (Erik Estrada, Richie Barathy) help a friend free her sister (Roxanna Michaels) from a white-slavery prison in Los Angeles. (Second feature: Bedroom Eyes 2)
Co-Hosted by Zacherley. A man is made insane by medical experiments and begins a murder and cannibalism spree. (First Feature: Killer!)
Part of the 5th Anniversary Special She-devil Lilith (Isa Anderson) orders a fashion-magazine editor (Karen Black) to put her picture on the cover.
Co-hosted by: Elvira, Mistress of the Dark (Movie Macabre) Someone's trying to kill a magazine model (Charlotte J. Helmkamp) who wants to be in the movie "Meat Cleavers from Mars." (First Feature: Blood on Satan's Claws)
An expedition to Infant Island discovers a native population and tiny twin fairy priestesses of the island's mythical deity. Named Mothra, she sets out to rescue her fairies after they are kidnapped by an exploitative businessman.
An embattled planet, which is on the edge of doom, sends an S.O.S. and an intergalactic team comes to its rescue.
The nations of the Earth unite in a common cause to fight off an invader from outer space.
When a narcotics deal goes sour and a suspect disappears, leaving only his clothes, Tokyo police question his wife and stake out the nightclub where she works. His disappearance stumps the police - until a young scientist appears who claims that H-Bomb tests in the Pacific, evidenced by a "ghost ship" that has turned up in the harbor, have created radioactive creatures - "H-Men" - who ooze like slime and dissolve anyone they touch.
A comedy following the exploits of three volunteer nurses, or 'candy stripers'. Marisa, who has been ordered to do volunteer work as a punishment for assaulting her teacher, falls for a young man who has been accused of knocking over a gas station, and does some investigating to try and clear his name. Sandy, on the other hand, has taken the job in order to be with her doctor boyfriend, but also takes up with a few of her handsomer patients as well before transferring to a sex clinic. Dianne, meanwhile, falls for a basketball player, whom she tries to talk into giving up drugs for good.
A young woman goes to New York in order to work as model but in the big city she finds a world she did not expect.
L.A.'s Chinatown is disrupted by the cross-town rivalry between two kickboxing clubs, as the competitive sport is catapulted from the ring of a gymnasium to a ring of fire.
Unicom is a powerful organization overseeing most of the world after its economic collapse. They have banned computers and robots in an attempt to insure "life, liberty, and the pursuit of economic stability". When a Unicom Synth robot infiltrates a southwest TV station and kills the manager, a revolutionary against the gestapo-like corporation, a lowly Unicom delivery man must help the rest of the station survive through the incoming "thermal storm".
An acid-scarred composer rises from the Paris sewers to boost his favorite opera understudy's career.
Mothra (1961) – 9:30 PM; Message from Space (1978) – 11:45 PM; Battle in Outer Space (1960) – 2:00 AM; The H-Man (1958) – 3:35 AM
King Kong Lives (1986) – 10:00 PM; Caveman (1981) – 12:15 AM; Trog (1970) – 2:15 AM; Logan’s Run: Crypt – 4:15 AM
During the Civil War a group of Union soldiers, a Confederate and a civilian escape the stockade using a hot-air balloon and end up on a strange Pacific island.
Evil aliens attack Earth and set their terrible "Plan 9" into action. As the aliens resurrect the dead of the Earth, the lives of the living are in danger.
A 400-foot (122-meter) dinosaur-like beast, awoken from undersea hibernation off the Japanese coast by atomic-bomb testing, attacks Tokyo.
Mothra's egg washes ashore and is claimed by greedy entrepreneurs who refuse to return it to her fairies. As Godzilla arises near Nagoya, the people of Infant Island must decide if they are willing to answer Japan's own pleas for help.
Aliens from Planet X request the use of Godzilla and Rodan to fight off King Ghidorah, but have a better use for the three monsters. (Part of the "End of Solar System Sale" marathon block. No host.)
A latchkey child living in the industrial city of Kawasaki confronts his loneliness through his escapist dreams of Monster Island and friendship with Minilla.
Attempts to salvage Mechagodzilla are thwarted, causing an INTERPOL investigation that uncovers the work of a shunned biologist and his daughter, who's life becomes entwined with the resurrected machine.
The first manned spacecraft, fired from an English launchpad, is first lost from radar, then roars back to Earth and crashes in a farmer's field, and is found to contain only one of the three men who took off in it; and he is unable to talk but appears to be undergoing a torturous physical and mental metamorphosis.
A seeker named Dogen rescues Dhyana after her father is murdered by the evil Jared-Syn. To avenge her father's death, Dogen must find Jared-Syn's hideout in the mysterious "Lost City", but the only person who knows where it is an aging, burned-out seeker named Rhodes. Along the way, they will need to do battle against the hunter Baal and his Cyclopean minions for engaging Jared-Syn in a final encounter.
A turn of the century wild west show struggling to make a living in Mexico comes into the possession of a tiny prehistoric horse. This leads to an expedition to the Forbidden Valley where they discover living dinosaurs. They capture one and take it back to be put on display, leading to inevitable mayhem.
As a result of nuclear testing, gigantic, ferocious mutant ants appear in the American desert southwest, and a father-daughter team of entomologists join forces with the state police officer who first discovers their existence, an FBI agent and, eventually, the US Army to eradicate the menace, before it spreads across the continent, and the world.
Vivian has magic powers. She doesn't hesitate to save her boyfriend David from failing in school by murdering teachers. However, David has gotten tired of her and is putting his charm on a new girl in school, Robin. Robin discovers that she also has magic powers, and before long the two girls clash violently.
Set in the future, a group of terrorists with an android leader storm a hospital when the President's daughter is inside, taking her hostage. To find a way of freeing her, the police decide to consult the architect who designed the building, but he's currently in jail for some crime, and the punishment of the future is to be frozen solid for one's sentence. The cops accidentally thaw out the wrong guy, a football player who decides to keep the mistake a secret and help the police in exchange for his freedom. Will he be able to defeat the terrorists and rescue the hostages, despite not knowing the first thing about architecture?
History professor Scott McKenzie makes an anachronistic discovery in a photograph from the Old West and he is soon joined by beautiful time-traveler Georgia in a time-skipping adventure to stop her colleague from the future from erasing her from existence.
Matthew Bennell notices that several of his friends are complaining that their close relatives are in some way different. When questioned later they themselves seem changed, as they deny everything or make lame excuses. As the invaders increase in number they become more open and Bennell, who has by now witnessed an attempted 'replacement', realizes that he and his friends must escape or suffer the same fate.
A commercial-jet captain (Chuck Connors) has ghosts on board from stones of an English abbey being shipped overseas.
When a destructive space entity is spotted approaching Earth, Admiral Kirk resumes command of the Starship Enterprise in order to intercept, examine, and hopefully stop it.
A family moves into an old, haunted house that regenerates itself by feeding off of the life forces of its injured occupants.
The Freeling family move in with Diane's mother in an effort to escape the trauma and aftermath of Carol Anne's abduction by the Beast. But the Beast is not to be put off so easily and appears in a ghostly apparition as the Reverend Kane, a religious zealot responsible for the deaths of his many followers. His goal is simple - he wants the angelic Carol Anne.
Carol Anne has been sent to live with her Aunt and Uncle in an effort to hide her from the clutches of the ghostly Reverend Kane, but he tracks her down and terrorizes her in her relatives' apartment in a tall glass building. Will he finally achieve his target and capture Carol Anne again, or will Tangina be able, yet again, to thwart him?
Giant mutant rabbits terrorize the south-west
A telepathic mutant recruits a post World War III TV game show warrior to lead her band of mutants to safety.
The police does not know what to do. They have to deal with a serial killer who aims at martial arts masters. One after another is killed in the same brutal way. This may be a chance for detective Linda Masterson to work on her first murder case. She gets the job and to her side an other martial arts specialist, Sgt. Tarek Richards. Now they need to find a tiger style master, because the killer obviously uses tiger style kung fu. Not a simple task, since tiger is a very ancient and rare style.
A creature of demonic nature, too hideous to have a name, once again terrorizes the college kids that summoned it.
Ex-Green Beret hapkido expert saves wild horses from being slaughtered for dog food and helps protect a desert "freedom school" for runaways.
This documentary puts forth the theory that UFOs are actually beings from another dimension, and reviews past incidents of UFO sightings in support of that theory.
After moving to a new town, two brothers discover that the area is a haven for vampires.
An idyllic summer turns into a nightmare of unspeakable terror for yet another group of naive counselors. Ignoring Camp Crystal Lake's bloody legacy, one by one they fall victim to the maniacal Jason who stalks them at every turn.
Seymour Krelborn is a nerdy orphan working at Mushnik's, a flower shop in urban Skid Row. He harbors a crush on fellow co-worker Audrey Fulquard, and is berated by Mr. Mushnik daily. One day Seymour finds a very mysterious unidentified plant which he calls Audrey II. The plant seems to have a craving for blood and soon begins to sing for his supper.
The Bandit goes on another cross-country run, transporting an elephant from Florida to Texas. And, once again, Sheriff Buford T. Justice is on his tail.
A noted professor and his dim-witted apprentice fall prey to their inquiring vampires, while on the trail of the ominous damsel in distress.
Scientist Dr. Bradford Crane and army general Thalius Slater join forces to fight an almost invisible enemy threatening America; killer bees that have deadly venom and attack without reason. Disaster movie-master Irwin Allen's film contains spectacular special effects, including a train crash caused by the eponymous swarm.
A divorced mother, her young son and her new boyfriend set out on a road trip through Death Valley and run afoul of a local serial killer.
Carrie White, a shy, friendless teenage girl who is sheltered by her domineering, religious mother, unleashes her telekinetic powers after being humiliated by her classmates at her senior prom
A Shakespearean actor takes poetic revenge on the critics who denied him recognition.
When an underwater ocean lab is lost in a earthquake, an advanced submarine is sent down to find it and encounters terrible danger.
An active volcano threatens a south Pacific island resort and its guests as a power struggle ensues between the property's developer and a drilling foreman.
Eight teens eat a boy genius's (Ronny Howard) lab food and grow big and bad; another teen (Tommy Kirk) tries to stop them.
The sorcerer and his apprentice Galen are on a mission to kill an evil dragon in order to save the King’s daughter from being sacrificed in accordance to a pact that the King himself made with the dragon to protect his kingdom. A fantasy film from Disney Studios that exhausted all possible visual effects of the time.
Don Santiago (Richard Angarola) is a vicious man who helps provoke an Indian massacre that will allow him to steal the Indians' land and claim it as his own. However, his son-in-law, Finley (Tom Laughlin), is an expert hand with both guns and swords and will not allow him to push around the peace-loving Indians or fellow settlers of the West.
An American tourist lands in a Slavic prison run by a twisted woman and the U.S. ambassador.
A group of scientists have developed the Resonator, a machine which allows whoever is within range to see beyond normal perceptible reality. But when the experiment succeeds, they are immediately attacked by terrible life forms.
Cool black private eye John Shaft is hired by a crime lord to find and retrieve his kidnapped daughter.
Eric is a secret agent currently working as security guard for senator Dilly. The senator is the main advocate for a new kind of police officer: the Tracker, a perfect and nearly invulnerable android. When Eric realizes that senator Dilly is playing dirty games, he does not only have Dilly's security chief Ross after him, but also those nearly undefeatable Trackers.
A Marine Corps drill instructor who is disgusted by the fact that the Corps now accepts draftees finds himself pitted against a hippie who has been drafted but refuses to accept the military's way of doing things.
The unburied dead return to life and seek human victims.
When an abused socialite grows to giant size because of an alien encounter and an aborted murder attempt, she goes after her cheating husband with revenge on her mind.
A scientist takes a the brain of dead man and revives it via electrodes as it lays suspended in a tank of liquid. Soon, the brain grows to possess enormous psychic powers and inflicts its personality upon the doctor who saved creating a "Jekyll and Hyde" paradigm.
A team of commandos on a mission in a Central American jungle find themselves hunted by an extraterrestrial warrior.
An April Fools' prank returns to haunt Doddsville High's alumni when they attend a reunion at their abandoned school.
A dog turns from man's best friend into man's worst nightmare as he attacks everything that moves.
Romeo and Juliet set with Chinese vs Italian gangs in NYC
After a failed bank robbery, an ex-con, an ex-waitress and a few of their friends train a pack of doberman dogs to rob a bank for them.
A Victorian surgeon rescues a heavily disfigured man being mistreated by his "owner" as a side-show freak. Behind his monstrous façade, there is revealed a person of great intelligence and sensitivity. Based on the true story of Joseph Merrick (called John Merrick in the film), a severely deformed man in 19th century London.
During its return to the earth, commercial spaceship Nostromo intercepts a distress signal from a distant planet. When a three-member team of the crew discovers a chamber containing thousands of eggs on the planet, a creature inside one of the eggs attacks an explorer. The entire crew is unaware of the impending nightmare set to descend upon them when the alien parasite planted inside its unfortunate host is birthed.
In 1973, the first manned expedition to Mars is marooned; by the time a rescue mission arrives, there is only one survivor: the leader, Col. Edward Carruthers, who appears to have murdered the others! According to Carruthers, an unknown life form killed his comrades during a sandstorm. But the skeptical rescuers little suspect that "it" has stowed away for the voyage back to Earth...
In the Australian outback a vicious wild boar kills and causes havoc to a small community.
Mothra's dark counterpart, Battra, emerges to eliminate humanity on behalf of the Earth. Two tiny fairies called the Cosmos offer their help by calling Mothra to battle the creature. Unfortunately a meteorite has awoken a hibernating Godzilla as a three way battle for the Earth begins.
Aliens from Planet X request the use of Godzilla and Rodan to fight off King Ghidorah, but have a better use for the three monsters.
Ichiro Miki is a child living in the industrial district of Kawasaki, where his parents' constant struggle to make ends meet often leaves the schoolboy alone. Constantly teased by a bully nicknamed "Gabara", his only friends are toy consultant Shinpei and fellow classmate Sachiko. Ichiro turns to escapist dreams of Monster Island where he befriends the equally bullied Minilla.
Megaforce is an elite multi-national military unit that does the jobs that individual governments wont. When the peaceful Republic of Sardun in under threat from their more aggressive neighbor the beautiful Major Zara and General Byrne-White see the help of Ace Hunter and Megaforce.
Billy Wong is a New York City cop whose partner is gunned down during a robbery. Billy and his new partner, Danny Garoni, are working security at a fashion show when a wealthy man's daughter, Laura Shapiro, is kidnapped. The Federal authorities suspect that Laura's father is involved with Mr. Ko, a Hong Kong drug kingpin, so the NYC police commissioner sends the two cops to Hong Kong to investigate.
About a retired New York cop on Vacation in America's West who is drawn into a female sheriff's investigation of a mysterious series of cattle killings.
Having been adopted by the madam of a southwestern brothel, a now adult Adrian must cope with the fact that he's Satan's kid, and not living up to his expectations.
A sarcastic humanoid duck is pulled from his homeworld to Earth where he must stop a hellish alien invasion with the help of a nerdy scientist and a cute struggling female rock singer who fancies him.
Dr. Victor von Frankenstein (Patrick Bergin) creates his creature (Randy Quaid), who escapes into the countryside to find that humanity has only pain and sorrow for him. But a psychic link between created and creator draws the two ever nearer, until their paths must inevitably cross again.
To improve his social life, a nerdish professor drinks a potion that temporarily turns him into the handsome, but obnoxious, Buddy Love.
After her last encounter, Ellen Ripley crash-lands on Fiorina 161, a maximum security prison. When a series of strange and deadly events occur shortly after her arrival, Ripley realizes that she has brought along an unwelcome visitor.
Barbarella (Jane Fonda) roams 41st-century space with her blind guardian angel, Pygar (John Phillip Law).
In a post-apocalyptic world, a warrior wandering through the desert comes upon a group of settlers who are being menaced by a murderous gang that is after the water they control.
A wicked troll king in search of a mystical ring that will transform him to human form invades a San Francisco apartment complex where a powerful witch lives.
A gruff bounty hunter travels back in time to 1980s Los Angeles to stop a twisted criminal who can transform people into zombie-like creatures.
While Sheriff Brackett and Dr. Loomis hunt for Michael Myers, a traumatized Laurie is rushed to hospital, and the serial killer is not far behind her.
Conan leads a ragtag group of adventurers on a quest for a princess.
Hercules has grown tired of his life on Mount Olympus, and wishes to visit Earth. His father Zeus forbids such a voyage, but a misdirected thunderbolt sends Hercules tumbling down the mountain and into New York City, where he's befriended by Pretzie, who runs a pretzel cart in the park. As Hercules tries to make his way in the big city with Pretzie's help, he runs afoul of a crooked wrestling promoter, gets mixed up with gangsters, rides his chariot through Times Square, descends into Hell, and dines at the Automat. Just as Hercules is getting used to life on Earth, his angry father decides it's time the boy came home, and Zeus sends Nemesis and a handful of other gods to retrieve him.
A NASA Mars mission won't work, and its funding is endangered, so they decide to fake it just this once. But then they have to keep the secret.
A novelist's wife and son see him changed by an apparent encounter with aliens in the mountains.
While hiding from bullies in his school's attic, a young boy discovers the extraordinary land of Fantasia, through a magical book called The Neverending Story. The book tells the tale of Atreyu, a young warrior who, with the help of a luck dragon named Falkor, must save Fantasia from the destruction of The Nothing.
When a group of trespassing seniors swim in a pool containing alien cocoons, they find themselves energized with youthful vigor.
A secret organization offers wealthy people a second chance at life. The customer picks out someone they want to be and the organization surgically alters the customer to look like the intended person, stages the customer's death, gets rid of the intended person and the customer takes on a new life.
After being mortally wounded and taken to the morgue, murderer Jason Voorhees spontaneously revives and embarks on a killing spree as he makes his way back to his home at Camp Crystal Lake.
In a soon to be demolished block of apartments, the residents resist the criminal methods used to force them to leave so a greedy tycoon can build his new skyscraper. When tiny mechanical aliens land for a recharge, they decide to stay and help out.
A young inductee into the military is given the task of looking after some chimpanzees used in the mysterious 'Project X'. Getting to know the chimps fairly well, he begins to suspect there is more to the secret project than he is being told.
A yuppie couple buys a remote country home unaware of the local feral cat problem. They soon find themselves terrorized by the horde of viscous and bloodthirsty... cats. Joe Bob gives it ★★
The growing pains of a teenage boy born from an unholy union between his mother and a swamp beast send him into the murky deep to find his father. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
Coney Island gang gets blamed for murder during an all-gang meeting. Before you know it, the cops and every gangbanger in New York is after the Warriors! Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Legend says that the sacred crystal is the source for all life and was created at the beginning of time. Kyla has sought the crystal to use its powers for himself and he takes the crystal after smashing the defenders on the Planet Sintaria. But there is another identical crystal on Earth and Ladera heads there to get it before the evil Kyla. She finds that Jed has taken the crystal from is hiding place, but Victor and his inexhaustible hit men want it for money they gave to Jed. Ladera easily handles the weak earthlings and saves Jed, but Kyla is also after the crystal. Jed and Ladera must find the crystal before Kyla, the clueless cops or the dimwitted villains.
An Israeli anti-terrorist agent must stop a disgruntled Vietnam vet cooperating in a Black September PLO plot to commit a terrorist attack at the Super Bowl.
An ordinary high school student discovers that his family has an unusual pedigree when he finds himself turning into a werewolf. Joe Bob gives it ★★½
Jeff Goldblum gets into a teleporter without a proper sanitation check, and it leads to one of the best Drive-In make-up effects in history. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Inspired by the E.C. comics of the 1950s, George A. Romero and Stephen King bring five tales of terror to the screen.
The lost city of Kuma is ruled by the cruel, arrogant, beautiful queen, Ayesha, gifted with eternal life. She lures Leo Vincey into her world, seeing in him the reincarnation of the lover she long ago murdered in a fit of violent jealousy. Against all advice Leo is determined to stay and Ayesha persuades him to bathe in the flame of eternal youth... with disastrous consequences.
A flighty teenage girl learns that she is her generation's destined battler of vampires.
Hotheaded laborer B.J. Hammer can't go long without ending up in a fight, and, after he comes out on top in a particularly impressive workplace scuffle, word of his brawling skills makes its way to Davis, a top boxing manager. Hammer is hired by Davis and begins a lucrative career in the ring, only to find out that his new employer wants him to throw a fight and take part in other illicit activities. Hammer reacts to this news violently, and the feud is on.
Another suburban woman is about to give birth to a mutant monster as an epidemic of monster babies sweeps across America. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
A kindhearted judge lets the mutant babies live out their lives on a secluded island, and now we get unruly 5 year olds with sharp teeth marauding through the tropical foliage. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
A group of kids goes treasure hunting, faces gangsters, puzzles and monsters, all to save their homes from an evil land developer. Joe Bob gives it ★
Mischievous monsters take over a Norman Rockwell-looking town and harass a bunch of character actors. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
A boy and his grandpa go on a VIP tour of a local factory where they're met with song, whimsy... and terror. Intermission segments feature a call with the director Mel Stewart.
Originally a gritty two-part TV mini series telling a true story of the the life behind the cold grey walls of "The Rock". Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Red Sonja is leader of tribe of amazons who are riding of in search of evil Queen Gedren, so they can avenge the death of 20 virgins who got tossed into a bit of boiling grease. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
Alec Baldwin and Meg Ryan struggle to come to terms with their relationship. Hang in there, get past the sappy love story part and it it will get pretty interesting, pretty fast. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
A young couple moves into an infamous New York apartment building. Soon, the woman suspects her neighbors have sinister plans for her pregnancy. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★, a horror classic.
Gene Rodenberry's failed Star Trek follow-up. A NASA scientist wakes in New Mexico of the future after spending 150 years in suspended animation. Joe Bob gives it ★
Christopher Walken comes out of a coma with the ability to foresee the future and tries to stop a disaster from happening in this Steven King adaptation. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
When an evil Warlock tries to unleash Satan upon this earth, a suburban Druid order calls upon two California teens to find the runestones to stop him. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Raymond Burr and around 3000 Japanese extras are pitted against a 12-story lizard with bad breath awoken from undersea hibernation by atom bomb testing. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Japan is under attack from two monsters in this classic battle between a rampaging Godzilla and a colossal moth unwittingly hatched by greedy tycoons. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Another Hammer dinosaur flick without a single line of English dialog filled with drop dead gorgeous cave women wearing only two strips of fuzzy dental floss. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
An African Explorer gets sucked into a time-space vortex thingamajiggy and ends up in a rhino worshiping cave women civilization. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
Top secret government agency kidnaps young people with psychokinetic powers and trains them as secret weapons. Now they're after Kirk Douglas' son. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Sex crazed drug-head space pirate tries to steal Farrah Fawcett away from Kirk Douglas by programming a cyborg to take over their brains. Joe Bob gives it ★★
A young boy living in typical middle class 50s suburbia is becoming concerned about his parents' fondness for "mystery meat." Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Kristy Swanson is a 10th century Bavarian peasant girl frozen by sorcerer's spell who returns as a 1991 department store window display. Joe Bob gives it ★½... ★★½ if you're already drunk.
Tall Man is back with three silver balls and a full levitating hand. It's up to a recent mental patient Mike and his friend Reggie to end his macabre practices. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
A mutant insect teenager is compelled to return to the place he was conceived. Soon dead bodies start piling up as his parents struggle to understand what's happening. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
A sensitive story of a death duel between a killer whale and a careless man who killed the whale's wife. Featuring multiple character actor chompings. Joe Bob gives it ★★
A government scientist's quest to build the ultimate fighter plane leads to a time-tripping nightmare in Nazi Germany. Joe Bob gives it ★★½
Week 1 of Joe Bob's summer school: Physics. The feel good time travel hit of 1985 about what would happen if you turned a DeLorean into a time machine and went back 30 years to get involved in your parents' love life. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
Week 1 of Joe Bob's summer school: Physics. Jack the Ripper jumps into H.G Wells' time machine and zaps himself to 70s San Francisco. H.G. Wells follows. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
Week 2 of Joe Bob's summer school: Animal Rights with a guest ferret expert. A sword & sorcery story of Dar who, with the help of his ferret sidekicks, combats the schemes of The Sorceress and Balcifer, Lord of Darkness. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Week 2 of Joe Bob's summer school: Animal Rights with a guest pet psychic. Beastmatster Dar and his animal companions time warp to 1990s Los Angeles to stop his evil brother from stealing a devastating weapon. Joe Bob gives it ★★
Week 2 of Joe Bob's summer school: Animal Rights. Beastmaster is back in barbarian times where he's battling a sorcerer planning to revive a demonic god with a sacred jewel. Joe Bob gives it ★★½
Week 3 of Joe Bob's summer school: Philosophy with director Wes Craven Fantasy and reality meet as the horrific Freddy Krueger steps out of Elm St. and into the real-life of the actress who played his killer in the original. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Week 3 of Joe Bob's summer school: Philosophy with director Wes Craven. A Harvard guy goes down to Haiti to find the formula for turning people into zombies, but the secret police gives him more than he bargained for. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Week 4 of Joe Bob's summer school: Black Studies with guest lecturer Ice-T. Ice-T plays a homeless man hired as a hunting guide only to find that his employers hunt humans for sport. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Week 4 of Joe Bob's summer school: Black Studies with guest lecturer Ice-T. Secret agent and karate babe Cleopatra Jones tries to rescue her boyfriend from a drug-queen pervert known as Mommy.
Week 5 of Joe Bob's summer school: Driver's Ed. The best science fiction car crash revenge ghost comedy of 1986. Staring Charlie Sheen, Nick Cassavetes, and a black Dodge Turbo Interceptor. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
Week 5 of Joe Bob's summer school: Driver's Ed. Diabolical exhaust belching big-rig goes head to head with a befuddled Dennis Weaver on the highways of California. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
Week 6 of Joe Bob's summer school: Phys Ed with guest lecturer Roddy Piper. Rowdy Roddy Piper finds sunglasses that allow him to see the truth: a cabal of outer-space ghouls is controling the world with subliminal messages. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Week 6 of Joe Bob's summer school: Phys Ed with guest lecturer Roddy Piper. Rowdy Roddy Piper and Sonny Chiba battle an army of ancient Mayan steroid monster zombie kung-fu killers in a Caribbean jungle. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
Week 7 of Joe Bob's summer school: Sex Ed with author Nancy Friday. A seductive teen befriends an introverted high school student and schemes her way into the lives of her wealthy family. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
Week 7 of Joe Bob's summer school: Sex Ed. A naive art student from Michigan finds Ivy's diary and decides to be just like her. See-through top and all. Joe Bob gives it ★★½
Week 8 of Joe Bob's summer school: ROTC with col. David Hackworth After half of class of '84 gets sprayed with semi-automatic fire by invading communists, a group of teens heads to the mountains to become guerrilla fighters. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
Week 8 of Joe Bob's summer school: ROTC with col. David Hackworth An underachiever is on the run after mistakenly hacking into US defense system and almost causing World War III playing Global Thermonuclear War. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
Week 9 of Joe Bob's summer school: Acne with Dr. Vail Reese. Local sheriff learns the secret behind the world-famous home made sausages produced at his siblings' motel. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Week 9 of Joe Bob's summer school: Acne. Secret zombie gas makes the local dead rise. Now it's up to a 12 year old, his leotard-clad sister and a cable TV installer to stop this zombie-rama. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
Week 10 of Joe Bob's summer school: Occult Studies with a modern-day witch. The movie that made Sissy Spacek one of the most famous supernatural psycho killers in horror movie history, and dealt with tampons and pads in an adult manner. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Week 10 of Joe Bob's summer school: Occult Studies. A local vampire tries to turn a co-ed reincarnation of his old girlfriend into a vampire so they can spend eternity snacking on bisexual college kids. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
Teenage video game whizz is taken from his trailer park to a planet of receding hairlines so he can use his skills to protect the galaxy from invasion. Joe Bob gives it ★★½
Hilary Shepard is caught between two starmen in this space-alien super cop stunt movie that's the best wheels & triggers action flick since Action Jackson. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Doctor discovers hanky-panky going on in her big Boston hospital, as relatively healthy patients end up in comas. Honest to goodness 70s classic. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
College students get too close to the wax dummies and get zapped to an alternate reality where famous ghouls and sadists want to rip their throats out. Joe Bob gives it ★★
John Carpenter blends comedy, martial arts, adventure and horror into a comic book tale of intrigue in San Francisco's Сhinatown. Kurt Russell, Kim Cattrall, and hopping vampires.
A cave-man banished from his tribe gets romantic with fur bikini-clad Raquel Welch and fights a lot of giant iguanas and animated dinosaurs. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
Kong is in search of his monkey missus after coming back to life in east Tennessee. It's only a matter of time before you-know-what: Monkey Fu! Joe Bob gives it ★★½
Two kids dig up a meteor in their backyard and accidentally mumble some heavy metal rock music lyrics into the hole which summons up the devil. Chucky the doll joins via satellite link. Joe Bob gives it ★★
Four big name directors set out to capture the spirit of the original show. Two of the stories are good, the other two suck. Find out which. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
Newborn goes straight from his mother's womb to a killing spree in L.A., attacking innocent milkmen and leaving a trail of phony blood wherever it goes. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Another suburban woman is about to give birth to mutant monster in this sequel from Larry Cohen, who thinks horribly deformed angry babies are kind of funny. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
The Halloween dusk-to-dawn marathon opens with the movie that created the slasher formula of teens getting butchered cause they were having too much sex. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
With slight hiccups, dusk-to-dawn marathon continues with Friday the 13th, Part 2 that picks up right up with the same girl exactly where the first one ends. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Despite broken drive-in totals, dusk-to-dawn marathon continues with the same thing that happened in Part 1 and Part 2: bunch of teenagers go into the woods and they don't come out. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
Dusk-to-dawn marathon is experiencing more problems, with Part 4 now missing among other difficulties, Joe Bob and the crew skip to Part 5. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
The marathon concludes despite the escalating issues in the studio with Jason getting zapped back to life by a bolt of lightning and going after more teens. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
A post-apocalyptic drifter stumbles into a capitalist city where he takes on Tina Turner and her championship wrestling reject with a midget on his back. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Clint Eastwood's directorial debut in which he stars as a radio host whose life gets turned upside down after an encounter with an obsessed fan. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
An extended version (with about 46 sub-plots) of the Steven King flick about an antique store offering enticing items that cost more than just money. Until Ed Harris intervenes. Joe Bob gives it ★★½
Big shark terrorizes tourist trap, makes water too bloody for swimming, three drunk guys go a-hunting. Featuring two music notes that'll make you scared to go back in the water. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
A solemn documentary presentation for the 35th anniversary of Kennedy assassination with the director/producer Mel Stewart and Dallas Times reporter Bob Porter. No rating or drive-in totals.
Five siblings are left for the summer with a babysitter that looks like an old lady, but acts like Rambo. The old bat dies off the bat, leaving the kids fending for themselves. Joe Bob gives it ★½
Basically a breakfast club version of Bride of Frankenstein - a kid sticks a robot brain into a dead girl's body, then tries to stop her from killing all the neighbors. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
Adrienne Barbeau double feature. A century after a shipwreck kills six sailors off the coast of small California town, an evil fog brings them back. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
Adrienne Barbeau double feature. After a fiery incident with corporate mercenaries in a swamp research facility, a scientist turns into one of the first environmental superheroes and fights back. No rating or drive-in totals.
A guy is taking dating advice from the talking cockroaches living in his NY apartment. Possibly the best cockroach musical filmed in the East Village. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
A man is drawn to a mythical home of slime gloopola monsters underneath a cemetery in northern Canada, while a sadistic serial killer is looking for a patsy. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
A very Joe Bob Christmas Special with songs by Rusty's tabernacle choir and the only Christmas movie with a "pet" exploded in a microwave. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
A very Joe Bob Christmas continues. Couple of aliens land in an Arizona suburb and give bunch of outer-space animals to some kids from Brooklyn who are in the witness protection program. Joe Bob gives it ★½
John Lithgow goes multiple personality on us as he kidnaps his friends' kids, so his even more psycho daddy can put him in a cage and study him. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
Wes Craven's socially redeeming child abuse classic about a kid who finds out his landlords keep a little girl prisoner and zombie mutants between the walls. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
Christopher Lambert comes to 80s New York after wandering the world for centuries and dueling immortals just to keep his head on - literally. Also, Sean Connery plays a Spaniard. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
California housewife Demi Moore has to track down Hasidic rabbis and condemned killers to find out what's wrong with her unborn baby and how it relates to the apocalypse. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
The improbable Canadian Alien rip-off. A gooey alien with big chompers explodes out of an astronaut's body and chases the cast around a place that could be a spaceship. Joe Bob gives it ★★½
Alien Men in Black with spooky eyes are making threats and killing government officials. Dennis Christopher comes to shoot 'em up and teach little boys to play nice. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
Kathy Bates is a feisty New Englander who may or may-not have pushed a couple of meanies to their deaths. Now her twitchy daughter needs to learn the truth. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
Joanna Pakula is a hot fashion model vampire werewolfess who comes to stay with her dead sister's family to get eternal life through a Belgian Congo voodoo lesbian kiss. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
Superbowl special with NFL player/actor Fred Williamson. Burt Reynolds puts a pyramid on his private parts in this love triangle flick between two NFL players and the team owner's daughter. No Joe Bob breaks, ratings or drive-in totals.
Superbowl special with NFL player/actor Fred Williamson. The classic disaster flick featuring the national anthem and a crazy sniper who attacks the LA colosseum during the Superbowl. No Joe Bob breaks, ratings or drive-in totals.
Superbowl special with NFL player/wrestler Kevin Greene. A brutal satire of American football that, according to Kevin Greene, most accurately depicts what being in the NFL is really like. No Joe Bob breaks, ratings or drive-in totals.
Superbowl special with NFL player/wrestler Kevin Greene. Imprisoned quarterback Burt Reynolds organizes a match between the inmates and their guards in the only prison movie ever made with 47 solid minutes of football footage. No Joe Bob breaks, ratings or drive-in totals.
Superbowl special with NFL player/actor Fred Williamson. An all-star cast (including the ex-footballer Jim Brown) of convicts is offered freedom if they complete a daring mission behind enemy lines just before D-Day. No Joe Bob breaks, ratings or drive-in totals.
Superbowl special with NFL player/actor Fred Williamson. Mobile Army Surgical Hospital unit uses humor and hijinks to keep their sanity in this classic anti-war flick culminating with a football match featuring Fred Williamson. No Joe Bob breaks, ratings or drive-in totals.
Superbowl marathon with NFL player/actor Fred Williamson. Another showing of the classic prison football movie made without Fred Williamson, even though it was him who brought the original idea for it to Hollywood. No Joe Bob breaks, ratings or drive-in totals.
Superbowl special in Miami's South Beach concludes with the movie "South Beach" directed, produced and starring Fred Williamson. A tough former cop and football star finds himself in trouble, and gets his old teammates to jump in. No Joe Bob breaks, ratings or drive-in totals.
Yellow goo galore when the Tall Man returns to his old tricks: taking corpses into his mortuary and turning them into killer midget monks. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
The film that Brian De Palma made after Carrie, and it's sort of like Carrie, but everyone dumped on it for being cheap, far fetched exploitation. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
A widow and her handicapped daughter move to a house where the reality warps everywhere with bloody faucets and talking pizzas vomiting goo all over your face. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
A sensitive romantic tale of an alien cop who drags his love interest around while he chases an alien criminal around the disco. Just in time for Valentine's. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
A couple of Australian character actors help a wild and sexy gal with a heir on her tummy escape extinction by the pope and president of the United States. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Werewolves learn to line dance at a county western bar filled with bad jokes and regulars who are played by the actual locals of the town they filmed this in. Joe Bob gives it ½
Man summons yellow intestine creatures and two midgets offer to serve him forever. The best Gremlins rip-off featuring midgets in serious dramatic roles. Joe Bob gives it ★★½
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the bathroom, the little pus monsters show up at a carnival, blending in with other freaks, killing slutty carnies and geek high school students. Joe Bob gives it ★★
Zachery Ty Bryan of Carrie 2 fame joins in for this showing of the film that made Steven King a horror movie legend. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
We're all dying to know what the final days of Laura Palmer were like. Featuring the usual David Lynch bizarr-o-rama and gratuitous David Bowie. Joe Bob gives it ★★½
Mark Hamill double feature. An appliance turns a young kung fu student into a big metal insect and now he needs to face hip-hop monsters and corporate meanies in this mutant fist fight galore. Joe Bob gives it ★★
Mark Hamill double feature. Astronaut Mark Hamill goes through a vortex wormhole, lands on a farm in the 90s and tries to figure out how to save the world from being destroyed 30 years from now. Joe Bob gives it ★★
A special showing of a mini-series about the handsome & charming notorious serial killer Ted Bundy who eventually fried in the "old sparky" in Florida. Joe Bob gives it ★★½
John Wayne's son fights all kinds of Harryhausen monsters as he goes to the end of the earth to turn a baboon back into a prince. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
Harry Hamlin fights all kinds of Harryhausen monsters in a film that’s either one of the greatest achievements in stop-motion filmaking, or a cheap grade B camp classic. Joe Bob gives it ★★
Horny teens decide to spend the night inside a funhouse where a horny mutant carnival freak has something unsavory going... and the bodies start dropping. Joe Bob gives it ★★½
Easter showing of Toby Hooper's horror classic where, just like the J-man, the dead are restless. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
Captain Kirk feels old and Ricardo Montalban gives him grief with many threatening long distance space calls. Also, Spock meets his maker at one point. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
William Shatner is an astronaut whose recent trip to Venus causes him some temperature problems. Joe Bob gives it ★★
Leonard Nimoy gets a curmudgeon lawyer to defend a robot accused of murdering his creator. A cross between Frankenstein and Perry Mason. Joe Bob gives it ★★
A stranger rides into town to protect its people from evil banditos... only these banditos look like refugees from west Hollywood leather bar. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Italian Road Warrior rip-off where a bunch of bikers and a UPS truck filled with a Darth Vader drill team take over an oil refinery from some ventriloquist tough guys. Joe Bob gives it ★½
Yul Brynner helps Max von Sydow defend his vegetable garden in 2012 NYC, where the plague has somehow eaten up the pavement and people kill each other for a string bean. Joe Bob gives it ★★½
Two guys who hated each other 'till the world got nuked drive the Oscar Mayer Wiener armored battle truck to reach the place that might save mankind - Albany, NY. Joe Bob gives it ★★
Canned corpse spam specimens get mistakenly shipped to Louisville, KY and before you know it the canisters spring a leak and we get brain eating zombies. Actress Linnea Quigley joins in during the breaks. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
People are dying in the Atlantic ocean with giant teeth marks in the brains again, but the city council won't believe Roy Scheider that the shark's back and he's got a disguise. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
Celebrating Mother's Day with the kiddy demon flick where the monsters are about 1ft high, and their 27ft mama is on her way to your back yard. Joe Bob gives it ★★
Bucked-toothed, horn rimmed scientist sprays some magic Binaca in her mouth and becomes an irresistible Sandra Bullock. Tate Donovan uses the spray too. Special guest: singer Wanda Jackson Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
Wes Craven's flick actually filmed in Haiti, where Harvard guy goes to study voodoo-fu, but the chief of secret police starts jumping into his dreams like reggae Freddy Krueger. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Rod Taylor travels to year 802701 (give or take), where bunch of aryan zombies are bred for lunch by the ugly pus monsters living underground. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
Malcolm McDowell in a tweed suit chases time traveling Jack the Ripper to 1979 San Francisco, where one more serial killer is no big deal. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
Bridget Fonda is an underdressed psychopathic CIA hitwoman sharing a beach house with her surfer boyfriend in this American remake of La Femme Nikita. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
A sentimental favorite of Joe Bob in which Michael Caine plays a troubled cartoonist having a hard time dealing with his hand getting hacked off. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
Alec Baldwin takes out Nicole Kidman's ovary in this big hoo-ha medical malpractice thriller. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
What if French intellectuals directed a Freddy Krueger rip-off about a guy slaughtering families with 7 year old kids. Joe Bob gives it ★★½
TNT thought you needed to see Back to the Future again, so guess what? We're going Back to the Future! Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
Back by popular demand, Steven's King biggest embarrassment where a bunch of trucks go haywire because of a comet. Joe Bob gives it ★★½
Despite complaining through the whole thing last time, TNT is making Joe Bob show the pathetic sequel to the talking baby big box office hit in which Bruce Willis voices the "monster." Joe Bob gives it 0
Christopher Lambert wields a sword and picks up chicks for 400 years, then Sean Connery teaches him how to fight his way through immortality. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
A gunfighting stranger comes to the small settlement of Lago. After gunning down three gunmen who tried to kill him, the townsfolk decide to hire the Stranger to hold off three outlaws who are on their way.
The origins, exploits and the ultimate fate of the James gang is told in a sympathetic portrayal of the bank robbers made up of brothers who begin their legendary bank raids because of revenge.
Joe Bob's Summer School: Pre-Med 101 with a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon. Kenneth Branagh sticks the brain of John Cleese into the body of Robert De Niro and wrestles him in KY jelly until De Niro takes off. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
Joe Bob's Summer School: Pre-Med 101 with a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon. Mad scientist witnesses his kid brother's death and years later starts crawling through hospital air ducts, jabbing anyone who gives him attitude. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
Joe Bob's Summer School: Pop Culture 201 with actor Charles Napier. The greatest 1980s musical comedy car chase movie ever made featuring so many motor vehicle collisions, that Joe Bob's calculator blew up. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Joe Bob's Summer School: Pop Culture 201. A giant human cartoon featuring a weenie wearing lipstick, running through the desert, giggling and trying to find his stolen bike. Joe Bob gives it ★★
Joe Bob's Summer School: Body Building 304 with fitness expert Karen Voight. Arnold Schwarzenegger's first serious dramatic role where he goes around walloping people with his sword while being rude to Sandahl Bergman. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
Joe Bob's Summer School: Body Building 304. Grace Jones and Wilt Chamberlain join Arnold who gets blood on his deltoids in almost every scene. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Joe Bob's Summer School: Applied Aeronautics with former Air Force captain Rusty. Charlie Sheen tries to save the US military from being sold some bum jets while frying eggs on a stomach of a steamy Valeria Golino in this spoof from the director of Airplane! Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
Joe Bob's Summer School: Applied Aeronautics with former Air Force captain Rusty. Retired Air Force colonel Louis Gossett Jr. has to save the family of gorgeous bodybuilder Rachel McLish using outdated planes. Joe Bob gives it ★★½
Joe Bob's Summer School: Advanced Primate Studies with an ape suit actor. Astronaut Charlton Heston lands on a planet that looks suspiciously like the desert outside of Vegas where he's captured by talking apes. Joe Bob gives calls it a classic.
Joe Bob's Summer School: Advanced Primate Studies. The kinder and gentler sequel. Kinda like Star Trek IV where they go to modern day San Francisco... but without the whales, or beaming up, or San Francisco. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
Joe Bob's Summer School: Cinema Studies 101 with director John Waters. High School musical about an early 1960s dancing chubster who misbehaves her mama and becomes a pro integration cha-cha idol. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Joe Bob's Summer School: Cinema Studies 101 with director John Waters. Early George Lucas coming of age flick about cruising around Modesto, CA, drag racing and listening to wolf-man Jack. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Joe Bob's Summer School: UFO Studies 666 with Ufologist Stanton Friedman. An all-star cast defend the earth from little green men who quack like ducks while turning people into steaming green skeletons. No rating or drive-in totals.
Joe Bob's Summer School: UFO Studies 666 with actress Anne Francis. Leslie Nielsen and a crew of whiskey loving, horny astronauts land on a planet where the only survivors are Walter Pidgeon and his gorgeous daughter. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
Joe Bob's Summer School: Food Science 504 with chef Wolfgang Puck. One of the most requested films in the library... and not by the kiddos, but by the goofy grown ups. No rating or drive-in totals.
Joe Bob's Summer School: Food Science 504 with actor Clint Howard. The old tale of a neighborhood ice cream man who sometime makes special flavors out of the body parts of murdered children. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
Joe Bob's Summer School: Recreational Geography 207 with Robin Leach. Griswolds embark on a overseas trip where they run people over, trash national monuments, and make a general nuisance of themselves. No rating or drive-in totals.
Joe Bob's Summer School: Recreational Geography 207 with Robin Leach. Dan Aykroyd, his snobby wife, and his psycho twin daughters make John Candy's vacation a living hell. Joe Bob gives it ★★
First Joe Bob's Hollywood Saturday Night. Dan Aykroyd's comedic take on the 1960s detective TV series, based on 1950s TV series, based on the 1940s radio show. No rating or drive-in totals.
William Shatner, founder of the Church of Satan and others star in the Satan worshiping epic best known for being the first flick to feature face disintegrating goo. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
Pregnant Frances McDormand is on the case of Minnesota car salesman William H. Macy who arranged to have his wife kidnapped by Steve Buscemi. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
One of the finest Anna Nicole Smith action thrillers featuring 3 Playboy playmates and CD-ROM to the forehead ever made in Las Vegas. Joe Bob gives it ★★½
Christopher Reeve's and Jane Seymour's romantic time travel movie that has caused more divorces than any film in America. Joe Bob gives it ★
A psych student takes his pals out for a weekend of fear exploration in his old house where a wooden mannequin is about to scare the bejeezus out of them. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
Elisabeth Shue takes a couple of brats to Chicago where they get harassed by one armed truckers, car thieves, mobsters, gangs, frat boys, and squarely headed blues musicians. Joe Bob gives it ★★½
Bunch of yuppies go into a cave and get chased by a pepperoni faced Bigfoot who makes kung pao chicken out of human organs. Joe Bob gives it ★½
One of the greatest horror movies ever made featuring dive bombing seagulls. Tippi Hedren joins during the first break. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Mel Brooks' great 1993 come back spoof of Robin Hood in general, and Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991) in particular. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
John Phillip Law and his baggy pants wearing crew take Caroline Munro on a search of some magic thingy and fight Ray Harryhausen monsters. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
Nair Witch Project Halloween Marathon begins. Another showing of Brian De Palma and Steven King classic featuring a mother from hell and pig's blood jubilee. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Nair Witch Project Halloween Marathon part 2. Toy company steps up production of the freckle faced demon rug rat with a filthy mouth despite it being accused of stealing children's souls. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
Nair Witch Project Halloween Marathon part 3. A big haired kid sees the Tall Man take a stolen corpse to his mausoleum for some embalming of the natural kind: we're talking yellow goo city. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Nair Witch Project Halloween Marathon part 4. Same deal - the Tall Man is taking corpses down to his mortuary and turning them into killer midget monks. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Halloween Special with Rhonda Shear (USA Up All Night) & Joe Flaherty (Count Floyd of SCTV). John Carpenter returns to horror directing with dozens of lunatics singing along with the muzak followed by Sam Neill's investigation of a missing horror writer. No rating or drive-in totals.
A hardened New Orleans cop, Dave Robicheaux, finally tosses in the badge and settles into life on the bayou with his wife. But a bizarre plane crash draws him back into the fray when his family is viciously threatened.
Sinister Gary Oldman tries to give Winona Ryder an involuntarily transfusion in Francis Ford Coppola's big budget adaptation of the neck biting, blood sucking classic. No rating or drive-in totals.
Mel Brooks puts Leslie Nielsen in Gary Oldman's wigs and leaves gaps for the laughter, otherwise it's exact same movie as the one before. Joe Bob gives it ★★★
One of the greatest navy recruiting films in history featuring an extended volleyball match and a dead Goose. No rating or drive-in totals.
A milestone in horror film history that mixes a real case of exorcism with green pea soup. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
One of the strangest and most beloved of prison movies featuring picturesque prisoners and sewage swimming. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Two rich guys make a bet that they can change a street criminal Eddie Murphy into a rich guy, and a yuppie Dan Aykroyd into a street criminal. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
US President Michael Douglas takes time from bombing Libya to make the sign of triple throated muskrat with lobbyist Annette Bening. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Danny DeVito and Diane Keaton voice the family dogs in yet another installment of the Look Who's talking series, but don't worry, there's still some pee pee and poo poo jokes. Joe Bob gives it ★½
During World War II, Madonna plays baseball with Geena Davis and Tom Hanks is drunk. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
Dustin Hoffman discovers how hard it is to be a woman after he puts on a dress, bonds with Jessica Lange, strips of for Teri Garr, and fights off numerous horny guys. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Jennifer Grey goes to Catskills with her family, starts dancing on logs and sleeping with the help while wearing increasingly skimpier ensembles. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
The always great telekinesis high school prom classic featuring some real "transfer your weight from one foot to the other" dancing. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Celebrating Hollywood Christmas with Universal Studios' excuse to dress Conan the Barbarian and Louie De Palma in matching suits. Joe Bob gives it ★★★½
The Ruskies wire Dolph Lundgren up to some RadioShack computers and turn him into a killing machine just in time for Boxing Day. Joe Bob gives it ★★★★
Joe Bob Briggs here, and what could be more appropriate on Martin Luther King's birthday than a Mel Brooks movie. The man who put the black sheriff in Blazing Saddles. Yes, we're continuing our "We love Mel Brooks, no matter how many toilet jokes he does" Festival, with this month's Mel Brooks flick, Spaceballs. And I admit it. I'm one of those guys who DOES laugh at doodie jokes.
I'm Joe Bob Briggs, and tonight on "MonsterVision" we've got one of the finest futuristic post-holocaust kung-fu road movies with sledgehammer-carrying midgets ever filmed in the Philippines. Of course, who else could I be talking about than the legendary Cirio Santiago, director of some 500 Filipino movies, and the total combined budget of those films has STILL not topped the hundred-dollar mark. One of the wonders of modern civilization.
Joe Bob Briggs brings you only the best, and tonight we have the film that spawned four sequels, two TV shows, a comic book, and an X-rated sadomasochistic CD-ROM starring Ron Jeremy and Marilyn Chambers. I'm speaking, of course, of "Planet of the Apes," which -- what? Ooooh, that was "Janet of the Apes," not to be confused with "Playmate Of The Apes."
Joe Bob Briggs here, and tonight, the movie that answers the question "What's eating the American farmer?" Man-eating porcupine tumbleweeds with enormous teeth are about to escape from their outer-space prison and head to Grovers Bend, Kansas, to munch on the population. I'm talking about, of course, Critters, with the best inter-galactic monsters since Zsa Zsa Gabor starred in "Queen of Outer Space" -- and they wear a lot less make-up.
Remember a while ago when we showed Grim? A buncha yuppies go underground and get chased by a pizza-faced monster? Well, from the people who brought you Grim -- yes, they lived to make another movie -- Breeders. A buncha people go underground -- this time under a girl's college -- and get chased by ANOTHER monster.
Kim is in the middle of her experiments with synthetic tin-foil skin when Barry Bostwick gives her a cadaver to experiment on -- a cadaver with werewolf blood in it, brought in specially from Hungary by the CIA for the use of creating superior combat agents.
Tonight, from the guy who brought you The Crying Game, "The Company of Wolves" -- one of the artsy-fartsiest werewolf movies in the history of cinema. It's kind of "Little Red Riding Hood" as told by Dennis Hopper in the sixties.
We've always suspected that college fraternities were devil-worshipping cults but this film proves it. Corey Feldman wants to be frat boy in the worst way but first he has to go through the initiation process and it involves a live human sacrifice, namely his girlfriend.
Psycho Daddy Night: I remember when this movie came out, 1987, there was a poster that had very little on it except the words "The Stepfather," and somehow that was scary -- you know why? Because daddies, in the eighties were TERRIFYING. So stepdaddies were all the MORE terrifying. Bad decade for fathers.
Nerdy guy comes back from the dead so he can keep his prom date. I love the premise of this movie. Kill the hero. Bring him back as a zombie. Make him visible to everybody. And the whole cast kinda GETS USED TO IT.
If you think about it, Beetlejuice could have been made just for MonsterVision. A pleasantly warped story told with an inspired sense of the bizarre and packed with enough jokes-a-minute that it's just as funny the twelfth time you see it as the first; what more could you want? Toss in a cast that's rarely been better -- Michael Keaton running amok, Winona Ryder's breakthrough role -- and we're sure you'll cancel any other Saturday night plans.
A nerdish boy buys a strange car with an evil mind of its own and his nature starts to change to reflect it.
Yes, it's time for yet ANOTHER Alien rip-off here on "MonsterVision." How many of these have we had? Sixty-seven? I'm Joe Bob Briggs, and tonight, an outer space mining crew accidentally releases a man-eating beast in "Within the Rock." Giving new meaning to the word "Whoops!"
In the near future Nassim, terrorist leader, storms computer company headquarters. His aim is deadly computer virus that could bring him world domination. Nick, company janitor and ex-cop, will get in his way.
The only movie of 1995 that features both Ned Beatty and an Eyetalian stripper with a seat in Parliament.
Tonight's MonsterVision flick, Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice, answers the age-old question, "What happens when a Goth Nebraska teenager with an attitude wills a bloody nose on a pesky priest?"
Controversial drive-in movie critic Joe Bob Briggs, whose real name is John Bloom, created the Briggs persona in a weekly column in the Dallas Times Herald starting 1982. Joe Bob's outrageous comments and national circulation quickly made him a cult hero. In April, 1985, Joe Bob 's column was banned in Dallas and Bloom resigned from the newspaper a few days later. Here Joe Bob performs comedy routines "We Are the World" satire, "We Are the Weird," to "Drive-in Oath," "Two Sisters from Memphis," and others in front of a live audience.
When Japanese organized crime imbeds itself within LA, the police turn to one man to take down the deadly Yakuza — Joe Marshall, aka "The Samurai." With his fearless swagger and rock hard jaw, The Samurai tears a two-fisted hole through the mob and doesn't stop until the job is done. Featuring commentary from Joe Bob Briggs.
A woman inherits an abandoned ranch whose estate is said to be haunted by "the Chooper," the sword-wielding ghost of a vengeance-seeking Indian, in this Ray Dennis Steckler shocker. Featuring commentary from Joe Bob Briggs.
A photographer cruises Hollywood and takes pictures of young models he then strangles. Meanwhile, a woman who works in a porno bookstore in downtown L.A. takes it upon herself to kill off the local derelicts. Soon the two killers meet up with each other. Featuring commentary from Joe Bob Briggs.
A teacher with a paranormal gift and a dark past, is forced to her limits when she becomes the target of a gang of teenagers. After spying on the vulnerable woman as she showers, they break into her home, humiliate and assault her. Something inside this reclusive teacher snaps and the thirst for vengence takes over. Bloody and clad in lingerie, she mutilates her attackers using some rather interesting and gory methods. Featuring commentary from Joe Bob Briggs.
Two brothers have a plan on how to rob the Ceasar's Palace in Las Vegas. They join a motorcycle gang and while the others are drinking and partying outside of town, they change their clothes and head off to rob the casino. Of course, the police do not look for two well dressed criminals among the Hell's Angels. Featuring commentary from Joe Bob Briggs.
Young lovers John and Jenny decide to go for a drive in the countryside one day when they happen upon the remains of a long-abandoned resort spa. After doing some exploring, they find that an elderly couple is still living in the crumbling building. They tell the youngsters that the resort was shut down long ago because it was the headquarters of a satanic cult that performed cannibalistic rituals on unsuspecting visitors, and then invite the pair to stay for dinner. Will John or Jenny make it back to civilization alive? Featuring commentary from Joe Bob Briggs.
In 1974, a little boy tries to talk a little girl into getting naked for him, which she refuses and calls him a pervert. He then runs home, which happens to be a brothel where several (extremely unattractive) hookers and their johns roam around in the bedrooms. The little boy comes into one room to find his mother with her john, to which he reacts by blasting them both dead with a shotgun. Thirteen years later, a woman named Linda is taking the new pledges for her sorority to the now empty brothel for a scavenger hunt. The scavenger hunt in the empty house is to test their maturity and courage, so if they finish the scavenger hunt without chickening out they can be part of the sorority. Once night falls the girls begin seeing apparitions of the dead hookers, and eventually the girls begin getting killed one by one. Featuring commentary from Joe Bob Briggs.
Angel (William Smith), an outlaw biker, sells out his gang by exposing their wild conquests to Like magazine for $10,000. With his photo on the cover, Angel skips town and tries to start over with help from sheep rancher Dan Felton (Dan Kemp). An ex-motorcycle enthusiast, Dan becomes a mentor to Angel, giving him hope for a peaceful future. But Angel must put hope aside when members of his former gang viciously attack Dan's teenage daughter. Featuring commentary from Joe Bob Briggs.