JP believes it is Christmas in the middle of March, and so to humour him, the other Pets decide to hold the event. Unfortunately, disaster strikes when the house is invaded by burglars.
After a wild party, a hungover Hamish is told by JP and Trevor that he had sex with Davina while he was drunk, and three months later it is revealed that she is pregnant.
Trevor has an unreachable itch on his back, which the other Pets refuse to scratch. Frustrated, he decides to use an unconventional method to get rid of it that leaves one of the Pets suffering from a nervous breakdown.
Hamish discovers that Trevor has placed a poor bet in his name with money borrowed from a violent, psychopathic criminal who expects to be payed back. Terrified, Hamish begins many failed attempts to commit suicide before the moneylender arrives.
Hamish finds himself being held in an excessively long queue on the phone in his attempt to make a call.
In a parody of Sherlock Holmes, Trevor tells JP the story of his Victorian ancestor; a detective who discovered the identity of Jack The Ripper.
When an archangel unblocks the downstairs toilet, Hamish insists the house become religious as an act of respect.
While watching a television documentary about John F. Kennedy, the Pets' power supply is cut off. Cue a flashback to the 1960s, featuring relations of the Pets on holiday in a house identical to the modern day version in Dallas, who witness the president's assassination and attempt to discover the identity of the perpetrator.
After suffering from constipation for fourteen months, Hamish reluctantly tries Trevor's suggestion of eating a pair of tights in order to cure himself.
Trevor dies after choking on a fishbone. Later, however, all of the other Pets are able to see him as a ghost.
JP holds a Halloween party in the living room. Meanwhile, Hamish attempts to cryogenically freeze himself, in order to awaken in the future.
Hamish goes over the edge and holds JP hostage, much to the bewilderment of Davina and Trevor, who are forced to negotiate with him.
When Trevor finds a suitcase full of money under the floorboards, he and Hamish conspire to kill Davina and JP and keep the money for themselves. However, both begin plotting to also double-cross each other.
Trevor sends himself and the rest of the Pets on a psychedelic trip when he puts LSD incorrectly delivered by a drug dealer in their cornflakes.
JP is convinced a UFO has landed in the garden, and soon he, Davina and Trevor begin to behave strangely around Hamish.
When Davina is found dead in Hamish's sleeping basket, he is put on trial for murder by Trevor.
Trevor enters Stars in Their Eyes, performing as Marilyn Monroe, much to the disgust of Hamish.
JP discovers an interdimensional time portal in the airing cupboard, which leads to an exact replica of the Pets' house, save for it including a double of JP being the only inhabitant and a highly radioactive uranium mine in the kitchen.
Hamish is convinced the other Pets are throwing parties in the kitchen in the early hours of the morning simply to spite him, and so he begins to spy on them using surveillance cameras.
Trevor holds a séance, and when Hamish sceptically observes it, he is possessed by the spirit of Judy Garland and later the house is tormented by a poltergeist.
Hamish hangs himself and is sent to Heaven, however, he is soon brought back to life by Trevor.
In a retelling of World War II that takes place in the Pets' home, Hamish becomes convinced that a Nazi spy is hiding amongst them.
When JP discovers a copy of the Book of the Dead, he unwittingly places a curse on himself, Hamish and Trevor, which turns them into living mummies one by one, leaving them to rely on Davina to reverse it.
After listening to a Spanish language tape, Hamish begins to act like a stereotypical Mexican man, much to the annoyance of the other Pets.
In order to fend off his boredom, Trevor attempts to conjure Satan, much to the dismay of Hamish.
In a parody of The Godfather, a mysterious package is delivered to the Pets' home, which includes a dead fish and a letter revealing that Hamish has been appointed as the new don of a Chicago mafia.
Trevor takes us on an exclusive and foul-mouthed guided tour behind the scenes of Pets.
A clip show
JP the parrot believes that he is the reincarnation of Grammy Award-nominated eighties pop singer Joan Armatrading.
JP the parrot gives a useful little lecture on the human digestive system.
JP the parrot is in an unusually pious mood as he talks about the miracle of St Bernadette.
JP the parrot is a huge fan of Star Trek and once tried to learn the Klingon language.
JP the parrot talks about the strange world of the druids.
JP the parrot reveals some interesting facts about astronaut Buzz Aldrin.
Here’s the unofficial music video for the full length version of the original Pets theme “This Is My Day”, as co-written and produced by MediaSmiths with lead vocals by Stacey Smith. Lyrics by Brian West & Andrew Barclay.
While hosting their own chat show for MTV in Italy, Trevor and Hamish starred in this hilarious music video for the track “Rap Lamento” by Frankie HI-NRG.
