Joan Collins

It's the turn of the stately and imperturbable Joan Collins to face cheeky Torquemada Piers Morgan. Joan prides herself on an immaculate appearance and she chides today's stars for not learning the basics: "They don't know how to put their make-up on and they don't know how to dress." Joan does all her own make-up. Yet she applies such remarkable artistry in the time it takes her husband to shave of a morning. What a woman - she's an example to us all.