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All Seasons

Season 1

  • S01E01 Hawaiian Style

    • April 8, 2015
    • Swearnet

    Learn to cook Hawaiian style – kind of! Shivering shits Chico and Paul get liquored up and grapple with hot pork and mackerel to create a feast on the not-remotely-fucking-tropical Scottish island of Rum.

  • S01E02 Food from the Future

    • April 14, 2015
    • Swearnet

    SwearNet's culinary cocktarts travel into the future to cook up a fucked feast of spam, meatloaf, and prawn flavoured cheese in a tube. The future's looking SHIT!

  • S01E03 The Xmas Bird

    Holy fuck, there's only 247 days to Christmas! Make sure you're fully prepared by watching Offworld Cookery's masterclass on cooking a totally not shit Xmas dinner!

  • S01E04 4th of July

    English tossers Chico and Paul attempt to cook a fucking magical 4th of July feast. Expect cheeseburgers, liquor, blood, and lots of shit mustard....

  • S01E05 No Meat and Two Veg

    So, what do vegetarians look like? And what the fuck do they eat? The Offworld Cookery team investigates, with a little help from a bottle of cider and some fucking terrible music!

  • S01E06 The Battle of Waterloo

    Chico and Paul do absolutely fuck all for Anglo-French relations as they attempt to create a meat feast fit for Napoleon – in the fucking rain!

  • S01E07 Ancient Britain Style

    This week: feast like a fucking barbarian and learn how to make goat leg stew and shit soup. Yum fucking yum!

  • S01E08 The Second Coming

    Praise be! Jesus Christ Himself (or it might be Chico in a shit wig) cooks a heavenly feast with the aid of holy wine, a burning bush, and a traditional Roman dick spoon!

Season 2

  • S02E01 Fine Dining

    • June 21, 2017
    • Swearnet

    Paul, Chico, and Alessandro are back with another season of outdoor food cockery! This time, these three English gents actually have a table! Can these posh pricks maintain such a high level of decorum?

  • S02E02 English Breakfast

    • July 5, 2017
    • Swearnet

    There’s enough dope and rum in this breakfast that you’d swear it was straight from Sunnyvale. Join the Offworld Cookery team for an early-morning fucked-up exploration of the full English breakfast!

  • S02E03 Explorers

    • July 19, 2017
    • Swearnet

    Join an expedition with revered winter big-bollocks Captain Scott in the ACTUAL barren terrain of Antarctica. Too much sugar, too much powdered shit, and not nearly enough women.

  • S02E04 Hospital Food

    • August 2, 2017
    • Swearnet

    Chico makes the best of a medical emergency by not letting his kidney go to waste. Instead, he’s jamming it into a fucking pie, served alongside chicken soup and some kind of berry-nut-rum-jizz dessert!

  • S02E05 Law and Order

    • August 16, 2017
    • Swearnet

    Alessandro is under the frightening custody of Officer Paul Kerry, a man with no safe word. These three sorry shits manage to put together some horrible porridge, some surprising souffle, and dry prison brownies -- all before Judge Chico determines Alessandro’s fate.

  • S02E06 Mel Gibson

    • August 30, 2017
    • Swearnet

    It’s a tribute to a cinematic icon as the Offworld dicks dress like their favourite Mel Gibson characters and feast on Mel-inspired meals. Guest starring the voice-over talents of the raging, frothing, heavy-breathing maniac himself!

  • S02E07 School Dinners

    • September 13, 2017
    • Swearnet

    Time for some schoolyard nostalgia with two gonads known as "Sir" and "The Boy!" It's just like a day at school, except the milk gets you drunk and the science experiment gets you high!

  • S02E08 Halloween

    • October 30, 2017
    • Swearnet

    Three ghoulish food fucks cook up some fearsome food, highlighted by a dessert of OJ Simpson's Gingerbread Glove. Meanwhile, glittery cock-faced Hitler pumpkin keeps grim watch.