Soccer on Saturday / Opening Titles / Announcements, and News Round-up / That's Tough / Super-scouse / Do Or Die by Human League / Commercial Break / Announcements, including Count Custard, and Chris's Embarrassing Childhood Story / Cliff Richard in a Loincloth / Alexei Sayle / Jimmy Saville Impression / Stacy Brown Got Two by Shel Silverstein / Announcements / Beat Your Brains Out / Algernon Razzamatazz / Tanks For Dropping In! / Commercial Break / Alexei Sayle on Art / Children's Programmes For Grown-ups / Houdi-Elbow / Whoofalot Advert / Pause For Thought / American Banking Clip / Announcements / Film Clip of Man Hitting His Nose With a Hammer / John Gorman's Birthday / The Greatest Show on Legs / Weekend Wind-up / Closing Credits /