The virus of surveillance is spreading across the European Union. In the form of its "ProtectEU" Internal Security Strategy, the European Commission is planning to attack encryption, re-introduce mandatory data retention and strengthen Europol and Frontex, the main agents of its oppressive law enforcement infrastructure. In this talk, we will journey the wastelands of the EU surveillance apocalypse together: We will take a close look at what politicians are planning to undermine our fundamental rights, the technology involved, and the real harms we must fight. From there, we will chart pathways to resistance and collective immunity against a surveillance agenda that requires us to form new alliances and re-think mobilization.