Science is hard and research into the usage of the Tor network is especially so. Since it was designed to counter suveillance, it gathering reliable information is difficult. As a consequence, the studies we do have, have yielded very different results. This talk investigates the root causes of contradicting studies by highlighting how slight changes in methodology or data selection completely change the results and thereby our understanding of what the Darknet is. Whether you consider it the last bastion of freedom or a haven of crime, this talk will tell you where to look and what to ignore in order to confirm your current opinion. And in case you are open to changing it, we have some food for thought for you.