To The Jackass It May Concern, Good day. I hate you. The accusations you have so unjustly hurled upon my doorstep have given me the most peculiar desire to reorganize your bones. To even suggest that my Delivery Service is anything other than TOTALLY RELIABLE is an affront to all that you and I hold dear. We will not be making a second attempt at delivering your mother's ashes, as I have found myself in the peculiar position of not giving an ass. Furthermore, you are a braggart. Even further furthermore, you are a bastard. I will be submitting a copy of this abridged letter to The Yelp so that they make take down your atrociously worded review. May god find a comfortable place for you to rot. Warmest Regards, Mark D. Livery CEO