Episode One, Rules of Engagement, is a guide to finding the perfect mate. A story of bloodshed, lies and deception, it offers advice that's as true in the city as it is in the bush. Choosing a mate is one of the most important decisions a female will make in her life. The success of her babies all hangs on her mate having excellent genes and plentiful resources. But as many of us can attest, appearances can be deceptive. So how does an animal tell Mr Right from Mr Wrong? Getting to first base is not that easy. Two of the biggest challenges are going to be finding the right mate and convincing them to cooperate. And if that weren't enough, it turns out that males and females are looking for very different things... Sperm are tiny and cheap; eggs are enormous and very expensive. The problem with this huge difference is that males are always prepared to give theirs up, whereas females are a lot more reticent. The result is a battle of the sexes, a world of showy males and fussy females.
You've done the hard work in finding a mate but now comes the tricky bit - making sure the sperm will reach the egg. Episode Two, Sperm Quest, reveals extraordinarily intimate details of what occurs during sexual intercourse. In terms of trying to win the 'Sperm Quest' - males seem by far to exercise the most desperate strategies. Male marsupial mice literally copulate themselves to death; rightwhales ejaculate genuine 'bucket-loads' to flush out the competition; some males have huge testicles, others have huge individual sperm - 20 times the length of their own bodies. The prize for most dastardly ploy goes to the aptly named bed-bug which circumvents the female's reproductive tract altogether by simply injecting sperm anywhere in her body with a sabre-like penis. Some penguins have resorted to 'prostitution' while the majestic Wandering Albatross reveals that 'monogamy' is not all it's cracked-up to be. Do animals have orgasms? Does 'rape' exist in the animal kingdom? Are females naturally promiscuous?
Episode Three, Internal Affairs, reveals the extraordinary array of strategies creatures use to give life to their offspring. From conception through to birth, the program reveals how numbers, timing and the environment can make all the difference between life and death for many species. There's the amazing survival kit of the kangaroo, which can switch its reproductive system on and off to survive the elements, and a tiny animal that doesn't need a male at all to reproduce. For some, the most enviable control of timing would have to be the strategy of queen bees and bulldog ants to have 'babies on demand'. They can fertilise their eggs at will from a store of sperm - depending on how many workers they want. They only need to have sex once - they've almost done away with males. Almost... But when it comes to completely doing away with males... all hail Bynoe's gecko! They are all female. They do not need males at all to reproduce. They're all virgins and they all give birth. Speaking of fathers... in nature they have 'birth control' too. Seahorse males fertilise and incubate eggs in their stomach - even going into labour to give birth - proving that some fathers are mothers too. And they do it all naturally. By comparison, human reproduction looks boring.
"The way we achieve immortality is by leaving our genes behind in our offspring." There's a million ways to go about making babies in the bush, but bringing baby into the world is only the beginning, as the final episode of Sex in the Bush explores. Offspring have to be given the very best chance of carrying on the family line, no matter what it takes - putting babies' as well as parents' lives at stake. The Gastric Brooding Frog mother swallows her young so they develop in her stomach, preventing her from eating for six weeks. The matriphagy spider lets her babies eat her, sacrificing her life to ensure her genes are passed on... perhaps she's the ultimate mother? And the Elephant seal mother will transfer nearly half her body weight to her pup. While it's often mum that puts her life on hold for her young, other mothers palm all the care off onto dad. Father Emu gets lumbered with caring for the chicks - unfair considering he doesn't even know if they are his own! Others have it all worked out - the more the merrier. Chough parents rope in helpers to bring up their young. However these helpers are so desirable they often get kidnapped by other groups! Emperor Penguins run the ultimate crèche in Antarctica - but how do they find their chicks amongst the mass of grey fluff? Some ultra-demanding young have to be taken virtually all the way. Quoll mothers carry their young around so they learn the skills needed to survive - and kangaroo daughters get to hang around with their grandmothers. Dolphins take this to the extreme - with highly advanced skills passed from generation to generation. It's all very well getting baby to breeding age, but in some cases they have to be shown the first steps to getting a mate. Courtship can be really complex, and getting it right is the difference between winning the chance to mate or not... And that is what it all comes down to.