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All Seasons

Season 1

  • SPECIAL 0x1 Original Pilot - Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal

    • CBS

    In the original filming of the pilot Blythe Danner played Evelyn Harper, but due to her schedule she decided to drop out of the show and was later replaced by Holland Taylor.

  • S01E01 Pilot (Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal)

    • September 22, 2003
    • CBS

    Charlie's life turns upside down when his brother and nephew move in; at the supermarket, Charlie discovers he can use 10-year-old Jake to attract women.

  • S01E02 Big Flappy Bastards

    • September 29, 2003
    • CBS

    While spending time with Jake, Charlie finds it hard to enforce rules that Alan has set out for him. It gets to the point were Jake lures a flock of sea gulls into his room, and Charlie gets very upset. This prompts Jake to try and get Charlie to forgive him. Alan starts doing chores for Judith, in the hopes of them getting back together. During one of the tasks, Judith kisses Alan, leading him to believe that things will get back to the way they once were.

  • S01E03 Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

    • October 6, 2003
    • CBS

    After spending a day at Disneyland, Jake gets sick and wants to go to his mothers' house, to have her take care of him. This sends Alan into a state of misery, as he realizes he's losing his wife, and son. Charlie suggests that they go drinking, and Alan agrees. After drinking the boys take a cab home, but at one point they end up at their mothers, where they try to tell her what they think of her, but fail in getting the point across.

  • S01E04 If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

    • October 13, 2003
    • CBS

    Charlie is very unhappy with his housekeepers' decision to quit, after she experiences Alan's demanding ways. Alan then offers to take on the role of housekeeper, but this situation doesn't work at all. So Alan decides to get the housekeeper to come back. Before Alan leaves, he puts Charlie in charge of getting Jake ready for a dinner with his mother and grandparents. Charlie also tries to get Rose to move on, and date other men. He finds both situations to be bigger challenges then he first thought.

  • S01E05 The Last Thing You Want to Do Is Wind Up with a Hump

    • October 20, 2003
    • CBS

    After spending a night in Las Vegas, Charlie decides to live up to his promise that he made to Jake about attending his soccer game. During the game, Charlie sets up a play-date with an unattached mother named Kate, and they hit it off. During one of their dates, Charlie seems like he's ready for a serious relation. Alan sets up a meeting with Gloria (one of the soccer moms) to write a soccer newsletter, but Gloria has other intentions for the evening, and he has no idea. During the evening another soccer mom, Brooke, tries to move in on Gloria's plans.

  • S01E06 Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

    • October 27, 2003
    • CBS

    Charlie tries to teach Jake to avoid certain calls that Charlie doesn't want to deal with, like his mother (Evelyn) for one. Evelyn gets so frustrated with not being able to talk to Charlie, that she decides to drop in while in the neighborhood. She invites them to dinner, to meet her new boyfriend (Tommy). When the brothers get over to their mothers house, Charlie is shocked to realize that Tommy's daughter is Olivia, one of the people he has been avoiding. Olivia tries to confront Charlie about their situation, but doesn't get the answer she wants, and throws a drink in his face, then storms off. After a week of not being able to contact their mother, Alan gets worried about her. So the brothers decide to go to her house and see if she's okay. They find her sitting in the dark and drinking, and she informs them that Tommy dumped her for a younger women. Later the brothers get Jake to try and cheer her up.

  • S01E07 If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

    • November 3, 2003
    • CBS

    Judith gets worried when, for a school assignment, Jake draws the tattooed buttocks of a female surfer friend of Charlie's who is in the habit of walking around his place half naked. Then Alan gets worried about Judith after she becomes friends with the surfer girl.

  • S01E08 Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snootful

    • November 10, 2003
    • CBS

    Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show.

  • S01E09 Phase One, Complete

    • November 17, 2003
    • CBS

    After meeting Wendy, a one-night stand of Charlies, Jake befriends her. Charlie doesn't like this situation, as he believes Wendy is using Jake to further their relationship, and he has no intention to keep it going. It gets to the point were Wendy even starts spending time with Evelyn, and Charlie becomes desperate to get rid of Wendy. After Charlie breaks it off Jake becomes very unhappy with him, because he won't be able to see Wendy anymore. This forces Charlie to confront Jake and explain the situation as best as he can. Rose sees that Alan knows how to play scrabble, and asks him to teach her to play, he agrees. During the scrabble games the two bond, and Charlie suspects that she is using Alan to get closer to him, but doesn't pursue the issue.

  • S01E10 Merry Thanksgiving

    • November 24, 2003
    • CBS

    In an attempt to prove that he is a family man, Charlie invites Lisa over for Thanksgiving dinner

  • S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

    • December 15, 2003
    • CBS

    While at the movies, the brothers bump into Judith and her new boyfriend. Seeing that Judith has changed her look, and the fact that Jake doesn't think Alan is as cool as Judith; prompts Alan to realize that if he wants to get back into the dating scene, he's going to have to change his look as well.

  • S01E12 Camel Filters + Pheromones

    • January 5, 2004
    • CBS

    When Berta is forced to bring her granddaughter Prudence to work with her, the boys find themselves a little preoccupied with her.

  • S01E13 Sarah Like Puny Alan

    • January 13, 2004
    • CBS

    Charlie finally gets a chance for a double date with a hot neighbor, who is out for revenge on her cheating husband, and her sister who's a hot soap opera actress, and needs Alan to come along. The problem is that Alan gets sick from Jake, so Charlie takes them to a steam room to help Alan get rid of his flu symptoms. This backfires, as Charlie also gets sick, but he has no intentions of canceling the date.

  • S01E14 I Can't Afford Hyenas

    • February 2, 2004
    • CBS

    Stan, Charlie's accountant, tries to explain Charlie's financial woes to him.

  • S01E15 Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

    • February 9, 2004
    • CBS

    Against Alan's judgment, Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Frankie.

  • S01E16 That Was Saliva, Alan

    • February 16, 2004
    • CBS

    Frankie tells Charlie and Alan why she and her daughter are on the run; Frankie's daughter has a crush on Jake.

  • S01E17 Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

    • February 23, 2004
    • CBS

    Alan offends Charlie by choosing harebrained cousins as Jake's guardians in the event of his death.

  • S01E18 An Old Flame With a New Wick

    • March 1, 2004
    • CBS

    Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man (Chris O'Donnell).

  • S01E19 I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

    • March 22, 2004
    • CBS

    Judith's sister, Liz (guest star Teri Hatcher), hits on Alan at Jake's birthday party; Evelyn prefers alcohol to cake.

  • S01E20 Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

    • April 19, 2004
    • CBS

    Judith believes that Jake is having a hard time dealing with his parent's divorce, after he starts annoying everyone with his non-stop guitar playing. So she suggests that they send Jake to a therapist. Alan doesn't agree at first, but after thinking about it, he believes it might not be such a bad idea.

  • S01E21 No Sniffing, No Wowing

    • May 3, 2004
    • CBS

    Charlie jeopardizes Alan's divorce settlement by sleeping with his attorney, Laura.

  • S01E22 My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

    • May 10, 2004
    • CBS

    Charlie attempts to cure Alan of his recent bout of sleepwalking; Jake sees his therapist.

  • S01E23 Just Like Buffalo

    • May 17, 2004
    • CBS

    Charlie tries to sweet talk Judith's divorcee support-group into letting Jake continue to spend weekends at his place.

  • S01E24 Can You Feel My Finger?

    • May 24, 2004
    • CBS

    A pregnancy scare has Charlie heading to the doctor for a vasectomy.

Season 2

  • S02E01 Back Off, Mary Poppins

    • September 20, 2004
    • CBS

    Alan learns that Charlie belongs to an exclusive men's group, and he begs his brother to let him join.

  • S02E02 Enjoy Those Garlic Balls

    • September 27, 2004
    • CBS

    Judith is dating Jake's pediatrician, and Alan is upset until Charlie points out that if she remarries, his alimony payments will end.

  • S02E03 A Bag Full of Jawea

    • October 4, 2004
    • CBS

    Charlie tries to save Jake from school suspension for giving his teacher (Missi Pyle) the finger by romancing her, but his several attempts fail every time.

  • S02E04 Go Get Mommy's Bra

    • October 11, 2004
    • CBS

    Jake is very impressed and can't stop talking about his mother's new boyfriend, Dr. Melnick, which annoys Alan. While Evelyn borrows Charlie's car to help her impress a Saudi prince, because she wants to sell him real estate. When Charlie gets his car back, he discovers his mother's bra in the backseat. When he finds out why it's there he decides to trade in his car.

  • S02E05 Bad News from the Clinic?

    • October 18, 2004
    • CBS

    Charlie meets his match when he falls for a woman who's better at playing hard to get than he is.

  • S02E06 The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance

    • October 25, 2004
    • CBS

    Alan denies having shoplifted a toy as a child and fears he has a dark side, until Charlie admits he planted the toy on Alan to stay out of trouble himself.

  • S02E07 A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana

    • November 8, 2004
    • CBS

    Charlie and Alan hire Berta's sister to cater a party their mother has conned them into throwing for her.

  • S02E08 Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers

    • November 15, 2004
    • CBS

    Alan meets a woman named Nancy at a grocery store, who fulfills every single one of his desires, forcing Charlie to take care of Jake. After knowing Nancy for a few days Alan decides to ask her to marry him, prompting Charlie to try and talk him out of it, and he even gets help from the brothers' mother.

  • S02E09 Yes, Monsignor

    • November 22, 2004
    • CBS

    When Charlie leaves the house to avoid a date that he can't stand, he ends up at a coffee shop, where he meets his old girlfriend Lisa. He finds out that she broke up with her husband, and now has a child. Now he must try to convince Lisa that he's okay with her having a child. While Jake tries to justify to his father why he isn't doing so well in school.

  • S02E10 The Salmon Under My Sweater

    • November 29, 2004
    • CBS

    Charlie tries to get Jake's approval on a theme song that he is hired to write for a television show, which is based on a comic book that Jake is a fan. While Alan finds out more about Rose (including how smart she is), when he spends more time with her.

  • S02E11 Last Chance to See Those Tattoos

    • December 13, 2004
    • CBS

    After getting unusually turned down at a bar, Charlie learns that a website has been made dedicated to exposing his lifestyle. Charlie sets out to find who created the site, making amends to all those he stood up, but it's harder than it looks when all the women take the apology better than expected.

  • S02E12 A Lungful of Alan

    • January 3, 2005
    • CBS

    Alan is jealous of Charlie when an old classmate, who's now a beautiful woman, seems to be more interested in Charlie.

  • S02E13 Zejdz Z Moich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)

    • January 17, 2005
    • CBS

    After an earthquake hits, Judith's house is damaged and she needs a place to stay. So Alan decides to invite her to stay with him and Charlie, without getting Charlie's permission. Charlie isn't happy with this, but accepts it. Alan becomes jealous when Judith goes on a date, and asks Charlie to find him a date, so that he can show Judith that he dates as well.

  • S02E14 Those Big Pink Things with Coconut

    • January 31, 2005
    • CBS

    The brothers throw out their mother, after she insults the way Alan is raising Jake. When Alan and Charlie ignore her phone calls, to get their attention she ends up in the hospital. When Alan and Charlie show up at the hospital they aren't sure if she's faking, and try to call her bluff.

  • S02E15 Smell the Umbrella Stand

    • February 7, 2005
    • CBS

    Alan starts to worry about a medical procedure that he is facing, and to get his mind off it, Charlie suggests they go to Las Vegas.

  • S02E16 Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?

    • February 14, 2005
    • CBS

    When Judith decides to take a vacation, the brothers have to take care of Jake during the week. Alan finds it challenging, and even forgets to pick up Jake from soccer practice. When Alan finds out that he has to go to the I.R.S. because they're auditing him, he forces Charlie to take care of Jake, and Charlie doesn't do any better then Alan.

  • S02E17 Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!

    • February 21, 2005
    • CBS

    After Charlie has back pain, Alan decides to take him to the Hospital. While there Charlie can't stop hitting on the doctor who is examining him. The only problem is that he has a history with her that he can't remember. Berta is feed up with Jake's inability to use the bathroom properly, so she decides to make him clean it until he learns.

  • S02E18 It Was 'Mame', Mom

    • March 7, 2005
    • CBS

    Charlie is invited to a party hosted by a gay ad-executive named Eric, so Charlie asks Alan to pretend that he's his life partner. While at the party, Charlie meets Eric's ex-wife Pamela, and tries to sleep with her without Eric finding out.

  • S02E19 A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise

    • March 21, 2005
    • CBS

    After Charlie takes Alan to an eye doctor, they end up at cafe where they bump into Charlie's ex-girlfriend, Sherri. While there Alan shows an interest in Sherri, and decides to ask her out. The problem is that Alan can't get over Sherri's relationship with Charlie.

  • S02E20 I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey

    • April 18, 2005
    • CBS

    Rose tries to help the brothers sort out their feelings, when Charlie and Alan take their personal frustrations out on each other.

  • S02E21 A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On

    • May 2, 2005
    • CBS

    Evelyn reads in the obituaries that her second husband, Harry has died. They all attend the funeral, including Jake who is excited at the opportunity of seeing a "dead guy". Charlie is excited by the opportunity of a newly single widow, and Alan is just happy to pay his respects to Harry.

  • S02E22 That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother

    • May 9, 2005
    • CBS

    Evelyn buys Alan a new Sports car causing Charlie to claim that his brother has sold his soul to the Devil. The next day, Evelyn extracts payment by insisting that Alan go on a blind, double date with her, her new beau and his daughter. At the restaurant, Alan learns that his mother and boyfriend will not be able to join them because there was a mixup between his heart medication and Viagra and she didn't want to "waste it". As a result, Alan is left to deal with the daughter, who is on a weekend pass from a rehab center and still has some loose screws. Alan eventually gets her back to the beach house only to have her drive off in his new sports car and become the object of a televised high-speed car chase.

  • S02E23 Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

    • May 16, 2005
    • CBS

    Evelyn demands Jake spend a night at her place when she finds out he spent Spring Break with Judith's parents. Neither Alan nor Charlie are keen on the idea, but going to a bar after dropping off Jake quickly erases their concerns.

  • S02E24 Does This Smell Funny to You?

    • May 23, 2005
    • CBS

    Charlie unknowingly sleeps with an older man's trophy wife while Jake has to read a paper to his class.

Season 3

  • S03E01 Weekend In Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts

    • September 19, 2005
    • CBS

    After falling off the roof, Alan needs Charlie's help in looking after Jake, which interferes with Charlie's social life.

  • S03E02 Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

    • September 26, 2005
    • CBS

    Jake gets suspended from school after drawing an offensive picture of a girl in his class that has large breasts. Meanwhile, Charlie is asked to watch over Alan's chiropractic office after pulling an all-nighter.

  • S03E03 Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

    • October 3, 2005
    • CBS

    Alan has been dating a lot, and Charlie soon finds out that it has been one woman - his ex-wife, Judith. He tries to stop Alan, and even brings Rose, Evelyn and Berta to interfere - but Alan ignores them all.

  • S03E04 Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs

    • October 10, 2005
    • CBS

    Berta causes tension between Charlie and Alan, when she temporarily moves in with them

  • S03E05 We Called It Mr. Pinky

    • October 17, 2005
    • CBS

    Charlie learns he can't be in a long-lasting relationship, because of unresolved issues he has with his mother. Jake asks Charlie for advice about a girl at school.

  • S03E06 Hi, Mr. Horned One

    • October 24, 2005
    • CBS

    Ignoring Alan's warnings, Charlie continues to date Isabella until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.

  • S03E07 Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop

    • November 7, 2005
    • CBS

    Charlie wakes up with Rose the morning after her birthday party. Her irate father (Martin Sheen), comes to ask Charlie about what the future holds for him and Rose, but the unexpected happens when Evelyn shows up.

  • S03E08 That Voodoo That I Do Do

    • November 14, 2005
    • CBS

    Charlie tricks Jake into taking ballet lessons, so he can get close to the teacher.

  • S03E09 Madame and Her Special Friend

    • November 21, 2005
    • CBS

    One of Charlie's elderly neighbors tries to seduce Alan, while Charlie tries to stop Jake from giving money to a televangelist.

  • S03E10 Something Salted and Twisted

    • November 28, 2005
    • CBS

    Charlie helps Alan with his obsession of always having to get approval from the women in his life.

  • S03E11 Santa's Village of the Damned

    • December 19, 2005
    • CBS

    Alan starts dating a woman with a Martha Stewart complex. Before long she's running the house with an obsession for perfection.

  • S03E12 That Special Tug

    • January 9, 2006
    • CBS

    Charlie sees a therapist to learn how to deal with Alan's emotional insecurities.

  • S03E13 Humiliation is a visual medium

    • January 23, 2006
    • CBS

    Charlie finds himself in a relationship that is not based on sex.

  • S03E14 Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded

    • February 6, 2006
    • CBS

    Charlie arranges a romantic date with Mia in the hopes of consummating their relationship. Alan begins to date Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.

  • S03E15 My Tongue is Meat

    • February 27, 2006
    • CBS

    Charlie has trouble keeping up with Mia's healthy lifestyle, so he begins to sneak beers, cigars, and burgers behind her back. When Mia finds out what he was doing, Charlie has to decide if he is truly in love with her or just whipped.

  • S03E16 Ergo, the Booty Call

    • March 6, 2006
    • CBS

    Alan has trouble deciding if he should bring his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday party to meet his mom and his ex-wife. Rose tries to get her boyfriend to act more like Charlie.

  • S03E17 The Unfortunate Little Schnauser

    • March 13, 2006
    • CBS

    Charlie is nominated for an advertising award, but he decides to boycott it because his arch nemesis always wins. The rest of his family tries to trick him into going. Rose is having relationship problems with Gordon and seeks help from Charlie.

  • S03E18 The Spit-Covered Cobbler

    • March 20, 2006
    • CBS

    Alan starts to have financial problems when he starts paying for his girlfriend's bills, so Charlie tries to get him to break up with her. Meanwhile, Judith is after Alan because he is late in paying his alimony check.

  • S03E19 Golly Moses, She's a Muffin

    • April 10, 2006
    • CBS

    Charlie is surprised to find out that Kandi has been living with them for the last three weeks. Alan is having a tough time helping Kandi earn a living. Charlie has lost his sense because of the dry-spell he is going through.

  • S03E20 Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

    • April 24, 2006
    • CBS

    Alan tries to win Kandi back. Meanwhile, Charlie starts to sleep with her mom, Mandi, and Judith gets set up with her father, Andy.

  • S03E21 And the Plot Moistens

    • May 1, 2006
    • CBS

    Jake’s teacher has a meeting with Alan and Judith to discuss the lack of interest Jake has at school. Alan starts to fall for Francine, in a platonic way, because he is tired of the lack of intelligent communication he has with Kandi. Charlie helps Jake audition for his school musical.

  • S03E22 Just Once With Aunt Sophie

    • May 8, 2006
    • CBS

    A girl from Jake’s school invites him to his first boy-girl party. Charlie and Alan help him get ready for it by giving him advice. Alan and Charlie get nostalgic and remember their first boy-girl party.

  • S03E23 Arguments for the Quickie

    • May 15, 2006
    • CBS

    Mia comes back to town with her dance troupe and invites Charlie to her performance. At first, he decides not to go and tries to convince Alan that he no longer has feelings for her. He goes to the see the performance and Mia explains that she wants some of Charlie’s sperm. Charlie responds by asking Mia for something.

  • S03E24 That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite

    • May 22, 2006
    • CBS

    Charlie and Mia start making their wedding arrangements. Things begin to fall apart when their two families meet each other. They eventually decide on a small ceremony in Las Vegas.

Season 4

  • S04E01 Working for Caligula

    • September 18, 2006
    • CBS

    Charlie returns to his bachelor lifestyle after Alan moves out of the house. Alan suffers a breakdown after his divorce from Kandi.

  • S04E02 Who's Vod Kanockers?

    • September 25, 2006
    • CBS

    Charlie finally tells Alan the truth about why he did not marry Mia. Charlie and Alan deal with a noisy neighbour.

  • S04E03 The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress

    • October 2, 2006
    • CBS

    Charlie tries to surf to impress Dottie, a beautiful woman he just met, but after he nearly drowns he is convinced that he saw his late father.

  • S04E04 A Pot Smoking Monkey

    • October 9, 2006
    • CBS

    Alan tries to hire his ex-wife's lawyer to help him win custody over the dog he and Kandi shared.

  • S04E05 A Live Woman of Proven Fertility

    • October 16, 2006
    • CBS

    Alan is overjoyed by the prospect of Judith remarrying, as he would no longer have to pay alimony. Alan gets Charlie to help him when it looks like the marriage may be derailed due to Jake’s dislike of his mother’s fiancé.

  • S04E06 Apologies for the Frivolity

    • October 23, 2006
    • CBS

    Charlie is dating a woman whose personality and life are like his mother’s.

  • S04E07 Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head

    • November 6, 2006
    • CBS

    Berta's daughter, Naomi, is pregnant and Berta drags Charlie with her when she confronts the baby’s father. Alan reveals a secret fetish.

  • S04E08 Release the Dogs

    • November 13, 2006
    • CBS

    Alan suffers from insomnia. He visits his psychiatrist (Jane Lynch), who reveals that the cause of Alan's sleepless nights is his jealousy towards Charlie, and his inability to glide through life.

  • S04E09 Corey's Been Dead for an Hour

    • November 20, 2006
    • CBS

    Charlie gets tired of Alan's mooching and reaches the breaking point during the brothers' double date. Jake is left home alone for the first time.

  • S04E10 Kissing Abe Lincoln

    • November 27, 2006
    • CBS

    Charlie must choose between his girlfriend and his housekeeper; Alan looks to sell Kandi's condo, but sex keeps getting in the way.

  • S04E11 Walnuts and Demerol

    • December 11, 2006
    • CBS

    Charlie's friends and family put a crimp in his plan for a romantic Christmas Eve date. When Evelyn sees who the date is, she goes to great lengths to force a wedge between them.

  • S04E12 Castrating Sheep in Montana

    • January 8, 2007
    • CBS

    Berta discovers that Alan has been dating her daughter (Sara Rue).

  • S04E13 Don't Worry, Speed Racer

    • January 22, 2007
    • CBS

    When Jake tells Charlie and Alan that he often overhears Judith and Herb (Ryan Stiles) making out, it triggers a repressed memory for Charlie.

  • S04E14 That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami

    • February 5, 2007
    • CBS

    Charlie has second thoughts after setting Alan up with their new neighbor (Brooke Shields)..

  • S04E15 My Damn Stalker

    • February 12, 2007
    • CBS

    Rose is moving to London, and Charlie is surprised by his reaction to the news. Alan lies to a woman he met online.

  • S04E16 Young People Have Phlegm Too

    • February 19, 2007
    • CBS

    Charlie's young, hot girlfriend takes him to a new club. She invites Alan to meet one of her friends but the men are shocked to learn that they are considered as being "old".

  • S04E17 I Merely Slept with a Commie

    • February 26, 2007
    • CBS

    After Evelyn tells Alan and Charlie how she feels about there being no mourners at her friend’s funeral, the boys share their feelings that this could also be the case at her funeral. Evelyn tries to prove them wrong by introducing them to a couple she help adopt a boy from China. The boys return fire by inviting the young man to a play date with Jake.

  • S04E18 It Never Rains in Hooterville

    • March 19, 2007
    • CBS

    Alan tries to bond with Jake when he realizes that his childhood is almost over. Kandi pursues a career in acting.

  • S04E19 Smooth as a Ken Doll

    • April 9, 2007
    • CBS

    Charlie takes a liking to Myra, the witty sister of Judith's fiancé, Herb.

  • S04E20 Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot

    • April 16, 2007
    • CBS

    Alan looks forward to Judith's wedding, while Charlie and Myra continue their romance.

  • S04E21 Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous

    • April 23, 2007
    • CBS

    Alan and Charlie re-examine their sexual identities after Alan befriends Greg, a gay man. Meanwhile, Jake has a crush on Greg's daughter.

  • S04E22 Mr. McGlue's Feedbag

    • April 30, 2007
    • CBS

    Jake gets lucky after Charlie takes him to the racetrack. Meanwhile, Alan has a difficult time at the DMV.

  • S04E23 Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin

    • May 7, 2007
    • CBS

    Charlie is shocked when the handyman working on his house beats him out for Chloe's affections. Alan has no sympathy for Charlie’s distress.

  • S04E24 Prostitutes and Gelato

    • May 14, 2007
    • CBS

    Evelyn's boyfriend, Teddy, invites Alan and Charlie to go with him to Las Vegas on his private jet. The boys confront their individual 'daddy issues'

Season 5

  • S05E01 Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

    • September 24, 2007
    • CBS

    Jake is getting ready to start a new school as he graduates to Junior High. Alan and Charlie take him school shopping and find themselves in trouble.

  • S05E02 Media Room Slash Dungeon

    • October 1, 2007
    • CBS

    Charlie acts strange after spending an evening with his mother, and a woman Alan slept with behaves oddly the next morning.

  • S05E03 Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

    • October 8, 2007
    • CBS

    Alan convinces Charlie that he needs to date more respectable women and sets him up with a judge. The two double date and their waitress happens to be one of Alan's ex-girlfriends. Charlie's date backfires the following morning, when he ends up in court in front of the judge.

  • S05E04 City of Great Racks

    • October 15, 2007
    • CBS

    Charlie and Linda get closer to consummating their relationship, but Charlie has trouble focusing when he begins to see Rose's face everywhere he turns.

  • S05E05 Putting Swim Fins on a Cat

    • October 23, 2007
    • CBS

    Charlie has to come up with ways to keep his girlfriend's 4-year-old amused; Alan becomes a test subject.

  • S05E06 Help Daddy Find His Toenail

    • October 30, 2007
    • CBS

    Charlie's girlfriend is embrassed to go out in public with him. Meanwhile, Jake sneaks out to attend a concert.

  • S05E07 The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room

    • November 5, 2007
    • CBS

    After Alan and Charlie have a fight about Alan's role in the house. Alan packs Jake up and moves in with his mother.

  • S05E08 Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

    • November 12, 2007
    • CBS

    Charlie writes a children’s song and finds success as Charlie Waffles. The children love him and the mothers seem to as well. Charlie's new found fame irritates Alan.

  • S05E09 Tight's Good

    • November 19, 2007
    • CBS

    Charlie fights his attraction for Teddy's daughter.

  • S05E10 Kinda Like Necrophilia

    • November 26, 2007
    • CBS

    Alan finds out that Charlie stole his girlfriend and works on a plan to get back at Charlie, even though this happened when they were in high school.

  • S05E11 Meander to Your Dander

    • March 17, 2008
    • CBS

    When Alan finds himself wanting to break up with a woman, Charlie offers his expertise.

  • S05E12 A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh

    • March 24, 2008
    • CBS

    Rose returns from England, and plays nurse rather oddly for an ill Charlie.

  • S05E13 The Soil Is Moist

    • March 31, 2008
    • CBS

    Alan finds out some surprising information about Judith's sex life when he decides to go on a date with one of her friends.

  • S05E14 Winky-Dink Time

    • April 14, 2008
    • CBS

    Charlie double-dates with Jake and fixes Alan up with a hooker.

  • S05E15 Rough Night In Hump Junction

    • April 21, 2008
    • CBS

    Alan feels Charlie is unable to control his womanizing ways.

  • S05E16 Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty

    • April 28, 2008
    • CBS

    Alan makes wedding plans for Evelyn and Teddy, while Charlie figures out how to get more acquainted with his future step-sister.

  • S05E17 Fish in a Drawer

    • May 5, 2008
    • CBS

    CSI's investigate a death at Charlie's house.

  • S05E18 If My Hole Could Talk

    • May 12, 2008
    • CBS

    Charlie's attracted to an older self-help author. Alan and Jake clash over a project for school.

  • S05E19 Waiting for the Right Snapper

    • May 19, 2008
    • CBS

    When Charlie meets Angie's soon to be daughter-in-law, he realizes it's not for the first time.

Season 6

  • S06E01 Taterhead Is Our Love Child

    • September 22, 2008
    • CBS

    In the 6th season opener, Charlie runs into an ex-girlfriend (Rena Sofer) and a child who bears a striking resemblance to Charlie.

  • S06E02 Pie Hole, Herb

    • September 29, 2008
    • CBS

    Charlie borrowed money from Alan and on the day he is supposed to pay him back, Alan goes to ask Charlie for the money. He again finds Charlie in bed with a beautiful woman. After Charlie shoos him out and assures him he'll get the money for him later that day, the woman asks if Charlie is really out of cash and Charlie tells her not to worry, that he has plenty of hooker money.

  • S06E03 Damn You, Eggs Benedict

    • October 6, 2008
    • CBS

    Alan, Jake, and Charlie all decide to try new things: Alan is dating more than one woman, Charlie learns to cook, and Jake experiments with beer.

  • S06E04 The Flavin' and the Mavin'

    • October 13, 2008
    • CBS

    Alan is sure that things will turn bad when Charlie starts dating his receptionist.

  • S06E05 A Jock Strap in Hell

    • October 20, 2008
    • CBS

    Charlie tries to help Jake's former teacher, who became a stripper after dating him, but things go from bad to worse when she has a religious conversion.

  • S06E06 It's Always Nazi Week

    • November 3, 2008
    • CBS

    When Judith kicks Herb to the curb, Alan comes knocking; Jake is sent to stay with a less-than-willing Charlie for three months during Judith's meltdown.

  • S06E07 Best H.O. Money Can Buy

    • November 10, 2008
    • CBS

    Alan tries to get away from Judith. Meanwhile, Charlie and Herb go out on the town.

  • S06E08 Pinocchio's Mouth

    • November 17, 2008
    • CBS

    Charlie's new girlfriend Chelsea asks him to spend the night at her place, which puts Charlie well outside of his comfort zone, while Alan tries to enforce a punishment on Jake initiated by Judith for mooning a group of girls.

  • S06E09 The Mooch at the Boo

    • November 24, 2008
    • CBS

    Charlie finds himself in an uncomfortable position when Jake takes off with the daughter of a former NFL player. Charlie's Mercedes proves a boon to Alan's love life.

  • S06E10 He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited

    • December 8, 2008
    • CBS

    Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, and Alan becomes listless because he has no compelling reason to work anymore, while Jake discovers a hidden talent in the culinary arts that may allow him to bypass college altogether.

  • S06E11 The Devil's Lube

    • December 15, 2008
    • CBS

    Charlie finds himself re-examining his wild ways when an old friend dies and begins to feel that his time on Earth may be drawing to a close.

  • S06E12 Thank God for Scoliosis

    • January 12, 2009
    • CBS

    Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress, while Alan fights sexual tension with his receptionist.

  • S06E13 I Think You Offended Don

    • January 19, 2009
    • CBS

    Judith is pregnant with a baby girl and Alan is convinced he is the father.

  • S06E14 David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie

    • February 2, 2009
    • CBS

    Melissa doesn't think Alan's family appreciates him, so she asks him to move in with her and her mom.

  • S06E15 I'd Like to Start with the Cat

    • February 9, 2009
    • CBS

    Charlie ends up in couples counseling.

  • S06E16 She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime

    • March 2, 2009
    • CBS

    Charlie has to remove a half-naked woman from his bedroom before Chelsea arrives.

  • S06E17 The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?

    • March 9, 2009
    • CBS

    Charlie's admission that he's in love with Chelsea gets a surprising reaction from her

  • S06E18 My Son's Enormous Head

    • March 16, 2009
    • CBS

    Chelsea's illness gives Charlie a chance to prove he can take care of her, but also yearning to run away from the situation.

  • S06E19 The Two Finger Rule

    • March 30, 2009
    • CBS

    After Chelsea discovers a nude picture of another woman on Charlie's cell phone, he blows off steam by going out for a night of drinking with Alan, Herb and his neighbor.

  • S06E20 Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau

    • April 13, 2009
    • CBS

    Charlie's desperate to make sure Chelsea and Evelyn don't befriend each other following their first meeting.

  • S06E21 Above Exalted Cyclops

    • April 27, 2009
    • CBS

    Chelsea is asked by Alan to arrange a blind date between he and her new friend, unaware that her new friend is Rose.

  • S06E22 Sir Lancelot's Litter Box

    • May 4, 2009
    • CBS

    Charlie mourns the loss of his bachelor pad as he reluctantly allows Chelsea to move in. Meanwhile, Alan discovers there is no longer much space left in the house for him.

  • S06E23 Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth

    • May 11, 2009
    • CBS

    Alan and Chelsea become best buds, and Charlie decides to take advantage of the situation.

  • S06E24 Baseball Was Better With Steroids

    • May 18, 2009
    • CBS

    Charlie starts to question his relationship with Chelsea when he hears that Mia is back in town. Meanwhile, Judith goes into labor and Charlie, Alan and Herb rush her to the hospital, on the sixth season finale.

Season 7

  • S07E01 818-JKLPUZO

    • September 21, 2009
    • CBS

    Charlie must make a difficult decision about his future and with which woman he wants to spend his life: Chelsea or Mia.

  • S07E02 Whipped Unto the Third Generation

    • September 28, 2009
    • CBS

    When Chelsea convinces Charlie to let Alan's new girlfriend, Melissa, move in, the girls end up taking over Charlie's house.

  • S07E03 Mmm, Fish. Yum.

    • October 5, 2009
    • CBS

    Alan ends up playing maid to Judith's new baby as well as his former mother-in-law. Meanwhile, Jake uses an incriminating photo to blackmail Charlie.

  • S07E04 Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator

    • October 12, 2009
    • CBS

    Alan starts working for Evelyn as Charlie works to fix the relationship between Chelsea and Jake.

  • S07E05 For the Sake of the Child

    • October 19, 2009
    • CBS

    Jake stops at nothing to get away from Charlie and Alan, after they embarrass him out in public.

  • S07E06 Give Me Your Thumb

    • November 2, 2009
    • CBS

    Alan's advice to Chelsea that she get breast-reduction surgery is not met with enthusiasm by Charlie, who kicks him out, but staying with Evelyn has its own challenges.

  • S07E07 Untainted By Filth

    • November 9, 2009
    • CBS

    Alan and Charlie are shocked when they wake up next to a strange woman, and try to find out what happened.

  • S07E08 Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

    • November 16, 2009
    • CBS

    While overcoming a bad break-up, Chelsea invites her beautiful college roommate to stay at the house.

  • S07E09 Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

    • November 23, 2009
    • CBS

    Charlie discovers he has not been satisfying Chelsea; Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair without spending much money.

  • S07E10 That's Why They Call It Ball Room

    • December 7, 2009
    • CBS

    Charlie discovers that Chelsea has not been completely honest about her finances.

  • S07E11 Warning, It's Dirty

    • December 15, 2009
    • CBS

    Jake is taught the art of infidelity by Charlie, whose girlfriend is away for Christmas.

  • S07E12 Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

    • January 11, 2010
    • CBS

    Jake hopes to win back Celeste by writing her love songs. Alan and Herb hope to keep Judith from finding out they've become friends.

  • S07E13 Yay, No Polyps!

    • January 18, 2010
    • CBS

    Charlie opts to have a colonoscopy in order to avoid going on a trip with Chelsea to see her parents. However, when he returns home, he finds her parents at his house.

  • S07E14 Crude and Uncalled For

    • February 1, 2010
    • CBS

    Charlie suspects Chelsea likes the lawyer representing Alan after his arrest for a bar fight.

  • S07E15 Aye, Aye, Captain Douche

    • February 8, 2010
    • CBS

    Chelsea and Charlie's relationship is at risk when Charlie's jealousy comes between them.

  • S07E16 Tinkle Like a Princess

    • March 1, 2010
    • CBS

    Charlie runs off to Vegas and returns with a new wife, but she's not Chelsea.

  • S07E17 I Found Your Moustache

    • March 8, 2010
    • CBS

    Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand.

  • S07E18 Ixnay on the Oggie Day

    • March 22, 2010
    • CBS

    Charlie has a return engagement with Chelsea's best friend, while Alan has an unexpected effect on a new female patient.

  • S07E19 Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave

    • April 12, 2010
    • CBS

    Alan is torn between the bad influence of Jake's new friend and the hotness of his mother.

  • S07E20 I Called Him Magoo

    • May 10, 2010
    • CBS

    Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend, while Charlie takes a different approach to obtain the "girlfriend experience"

  • S07E21 Gumby with a Pokey

    • May 17, 2010
    • CBS

    Charlie is visited by the ghosts of his ex-girlfriends while Alan and Jake are on a road trip.

  • S07E22 This Is Not Gonna End Well

    • May 24, 2010
    • CBS

    Charlie is miffed over Alan's planned attendance of Chelsea's birthday party and suffers the indignity of having Jake chauffer him around following a license suspension.

Season 8

  • S08E01 Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud

    • September 20, 2010
    • CBS

    When Jake finds out that Alan has been dating Eldridge's mom, he packs up and heads to Judith and Herb's. Meanwhile, Charlie decides it's time to cut back on boozing.

  • S08E02 A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer

    • September 27, 2010
    • CBS

    Charlie is willing to do anything for Alan to accept Lyndsey's offer to move in with her.

  • S08E03 A Pudding-Filled Cactus

    • October 4, 2010
    • CBS

    After moving in with Lyndsey, Alan continues to have a rendezvous with Melissa at Charlie's house.

  • S08E04 Hookers, Hookers, Hookers

    • October 11, 2010
    • CBS

    Lyndsey and Eldridge move into Charlie's house after their home burns down.

  • S08E05 The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel

    • October 18, 2010
    • CBS

    Alan pretends to be Charlie when he goes out on the town; Charlie sneaks off for cosmetic surgery.

  • S08E06 Twanging Your Magic Clanger

    • October 25, 2010
    • CBS

    Charlie has difficulty dealing with dating a slightly older woman.

  • S08E07 The Crazy Bitch Gazette

    • November 1, 2010
    • CBS

    Charlie's girlfriend gets fed up with his stalker, Rose.

  • S08E08 Springtime on a Stick

    • November 8, 2010
    • CBS

    Charlie and Alan try to set up Evelyn with Russell the pharmacist.

  • S08E09 A Good Time in Central Africa

    • November 15, 2010
    • CBS

    When Berta takes a couple of days off, Charlie falls for her replacement. Meanwhile, Alan believes he's being stalked by Lyndsey's ex-husband.

  • S08E10 Ow, Ow, Don't Stop

    • November 22, 2010
    • CBS

    When Charlie's ex-girlfriend Courtney is released from prison, he treats her to the good life despite her having been in prison for conning him.

  • S08E11 Dead from the Waist Down

    • December 6, 2010
    • CBS

    Alan goes to great lengths to be able to get Lyndsey a nice birthday present.

  • S08E12 Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead

    • December 13, 2010
    • CBS

    Depressed after his breakup from Courtney (Jenny McCarthy), Charlie goes to see his psychiatrist (Jane Lynch).

  • S08E13 Skunk, Dog, Crap and Ketchup

    • January 3, 2011
    • CBS

    Alan feels paranoid when Lyndsey becomes friendly with Charlie.

  • S08E14 Lookin' for Japanese Subs

    • January 17, 2011
    • CBS

    Obsessed and believing her to be married, Charlie starts stalking Rose. Jake and Eldridge start taping themselves doing Jackass-style stunts.

  • S08E15 Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak

    • February 7, 2011
    • CBS

    While Charlie and Rose carry on their "affair," Alan's chiropractic business turns into a Ponzi scheme.

  • S08E16 That Darn Priest

    • February 14, 2011
    • CBS

    Rose and Alan discover each other's secrets. Meanwhile, Charlie's desperate to get some time alone with Rose.

Season 9

  • S09E01 Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

    • September 19, 2011
    • CBS

    Alan and Jake meet Walden Schmidt, a broken-hearted billionaire.

  • S09E02 People Who Love Peepholes

    • September 26, 2011
    • CBS

    Walden deals with his ex-wife, Bridget.

  • S09E03 Big Girls Don't Throw Food

    • October 3, 2011
    • CBS

    Alan prepares Walden for a date with Bridget, while Jake decides to emulate Walden and drop out of school.

  • S09E04 Nine Magic Fingers

    • October 10, 2011
    • CBS

    Walden goes looking for Mrs. Right while Alan has an opportunity to reconcile with Lyndsey.

  • S09E05 A Giant Cat Holding a Churro

    • October 17, 2011
    • CBS

    Alan has trouble accepting Lyndsey's seedy movie past, and Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing a party.

  • S09E06 The Squat and the Hover

    • October 24, 2011
    • CBS

    Walden receives divorce papers from Bridget, but forgets his depression when he meets a girl who looks eerily like her.

  • S09E07 Those Fancy Japanese Toilets

    • October 31, 2011
    • CBS

    Jake has a crush on his chemistry tutor, who has a crush on Walden. Meanwhile, Alan obsesses over the journal his brother left him in his will.

  • S09E08 Thank You for the Intercourse

    • November 7, 2011
    • CBS

    When Walden begins redecorating the beach house, Alan becomes overly emotional.

  • S09E09 Frodo's Headshots

    • November 14, 2011
    • CBS

    Upon his release from the hospital, Alan is met with a slew of challenges that test his ability to cope.

  • S09E10 A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes

    • November 21, 2011
    • CBS

    Walden hits it off with a British babe, but neither of them is sure he's ready to re-enter the dating world.

  • S09E11 What a Lovely Landing Strip

    • December 5, 2011
    • CBS

    Walden is trying his best to impress his new love interest when Bridget reappears in his life.

  • S09E12 One False Move, Zimbabwe!

    • December 12, 2011
    • CBS

    Walden's mother arrives and Alan is smitten with her, even as she reveals a secret about Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral.

  • S09E13 Slowly and in a Circular Fashion

    • January 2, 2012
    • CBS

    Walden’s ex-wife and mother try to take control of his company, so he turns to Alan for help.

  • S09E14 A Possum On Chemo

    • January 16, 2012
    • CBS

    Zoey tries to convince Walden to cut his hair and shave; Alan and Lyndsey revive their relationship.

  • S09E15 The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack

    • February 6, 2012
    • CBS

    Walden tries to loosen Zooey up by sharing some of Berta's special brownies.

  • S09E16 Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy

    • February 13, 2012
    • CBS

    When a huge storm keeps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lindsay at home on Valentine's Day, conflict brews and relationships are strained.

  • S09E17 Not in My Mouth!

    • February 20, 2012
    • CBS

    A near-death experience has an adverse effect on Zoey and Walden's relationship; Alan thinks Lyndsey may have a drinking problem.

  • S09E18 The War Against Gingivitis

    • February 27, 2012
    • CBS

    Walden's ex-business partner shows up at the beach house looking to make peace.

  • S09E19 Palmdale, Ech

    • March 19, 2012
    • CBS

    Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers. Jake and Eldridge get a ride from Walden to a party.

  • S09E20 Grandma's Pie

    • April 9, 2012
    • CBS

    Walden breaks the news to Zoey that he is going into business with his ex-wife. Alan and Lyndsey try to cope with their mom's relationship.

  • S09E21 Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'

    • April 16, 2012
    • CBS

    Zoey and her daughter move in with Walden; Alan gets more than he bargained for with Lyndsey.

  • S09E22 Why We Gave Up Women

    • April 30, 2012
    • CBS

    Charlie's ghost pays a visit to Alan after he suffers a minor heart attack.

  • S09E23 The Straw in My Donut Hole

    • May 7, 2012
    • CBS

    Zoey isn't convinced Alan deserves all the love and affection he receives upon his return from the hospital.

  • S09E24 Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!

    • May 14, 2012
    • CBS

    Jake graduates and must decide what to do with his life.

Season 10

  • S10E01 I Changed My Mind About the Milk

    • September 27, 2012
    • CBS

    Walden plans a big surprise for Zoey's birthday.

  • S10E02 A Big Bag of Dog

    • October 4, 2012
    • CBS

    Walden has a breakdown after his relationship with Zoey ends.

  • S10E03 Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt

    • October 11, 2012
    • CBS

    Lyndsey and Alan try to add a little excitement to their love life.

  • S10E04 You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For

    • October 18, 2012
    • CBS

    A friend's visiting daughter makes Walden feel his age.

  • S10E05 That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam

    • October 25, 2012
    • CBS

    Walden ignores Alan's warnings and starts dating Rose.

  • S10E06 Ferrets, Attack

    • November 1, 2012
    • CBS

    Walden must choose between Zoey and Rose.

  • S10E07 Avoid the Chinese Mustard

    • November 8, 2012
    • CBS

    When Walden gets tired of the complications that come with a traditional relationship, he hires an actress to be his girlfriend; Jake plans a rendezvous with Missi (Miley Cyrus) at the beach house.

  • S10E08 Something My Gynecologist Said

    • November 15, 2012
    • CBS

    Alan feels reluctant to make a commitment to Lyndsey, but an unexpected source inspires him; Walden enjoys being the boy-toy of a wealthy older woman.

  • S10E09 I Scream When I Pee

    • November 29, 2012
    • CBS

    Alans famous ex-wife, Kandi, wants to reconcile; when Berta isn't interested in celebrating her birthday, Walden tries to make her day special.

  • S10E10 One Nut Johnson

    • December 6, 2012
    • CBS

    Alan helps Walden create a new identity so he can avoid women who are only interested in his money.

  • S10E11 Give Santa a Tail-Hole

    • December 13, 2012
    • CBS

    Walden juggles his two identities; Alan ends up alone on Christmas.

  • S10E12 Welcome to Alancrest

    • January 3, 2013
    • CBS

    Alan invests Walden's money in Kate's fashion line; leading a double life takes its toll on Walden.

  • S10E13 Grab a Feather and Get in Line

    • January 10, 2013
    • CBS

    Alan and Walden go to Kate's fashion show in New York so Walden can reveal the truth about his identity.

  • S10E14 Run, Steven Staven! Run!

    • January 31, 2013
    • CBS

    Alan is faced with relationship trouble when he does not give Lyndsey a key to the beach house; Walden, Alan, Herb and Billy commiserate about relationships.

  • S10E15 Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It

    • February 7, 2013
    • CBS

    When Jake brings his 36-year-old girlfriend home for a visit, Alan is concerned; Walden tries to hide something from Alan.

  • S10E16 Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby

    • February 14, 2013
    • CBS

    Depressed on Valentine's Day, Walden tries to talk Kate into giving him another chance; Alan's holiday plans go south.

  • S10E17 Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries

    • February 21, 2013
    • CBS

    When Walden runs into his ex and they start talking about getting back together, Alan worries that she is not good enough.

  • S10E18 The 9:04 from Pemberton

    • March 7, 2013
    • CBS

    After a fight with Walden, Alan decides to move in with Herb.

  • S10E19 Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon

    • March 14, 2013
    • CBS

    Alan and Walden end up partying too hard as they try to cheer up Herb.

  • S10E20 Bazinga! That's from a TV Show

    • April 4, 2013
    • CBS

    Walden and Alan are caught in the crossfire when Jake cheats on his girlfriend (Jaime Pressly) with her 18-year-old daughter.

  • S10E21 Another Night with Neil Diamond

    • April 25, 2013
    • CBS

    Alan has a difficult time coping when Lyndsey breaks up with him.

  • S10E22 My Bodacious Vidalia

    • May 2, 2013
    • CBS

    With encouragement from Walden, Alan decides to update his look; Alan is faced with a moral dilemma when he attracts a married woman.

  • S10E23 Cows, Prepare to be Tipped

    • May 9, 2013
    • CBS

    Walden dates an attractive 22-year-old (Hilary Duff), but ends up being more interested in her grandmother (Marilu Henner); Jake and Alan go on a trip.

Season 11

  • S11E01 Nangnangnangnang

    • September 26, 2013
    • CBS

    Charlie's 25-year-old daughter arrives at the beach house, hoping to get to know her family.

  • S11E02 I Think I Banged Lucille Ball

    • October 3, 2013
    • CBS

    Jenny moves in with Evelyn and her wealthy boyfriend, Marty (Carl Reiner).

  • S11E03 This Unblessed Biscuit

    • October 10, 2013
    • CBS

    When Berta hurts her back at work, Alan and Walden think she should retire.

  • S11E04 Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank

    • October 17, 2013
    • CBS

    Walden parties with Jenny and her attractive friends; Alan's illicit affair with Lyndsey is jeopardized.

  • S11E05 Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003

    • October 24, 2013
    • CBS

    Alan tries to find out what Lyndsey's boyfriend has over him; Walden helps Jenny pursue her acting career.

  • S11E06 Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants

    • November 7, 2013
    • CBS

    Alan wants to set up a date with Lynda Carter once he learns Walden knows her; Walden begrudgingly agrees to invite Lynda over for dinner.

  • S11E07 Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie

    • November 14, 2013
    • CBS

    Lyndsey's jealousy disrupts Walden's and Alan's dates with beautiful women.

  • S11E08 Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.

    • November 21, 2013
    • CBS

    When Alan and Lyndsey's affair puts Walden in danger, he is forced to accept Rose's (Melanie Lynskey) help.

  • S11E09 Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer

    • December 5, 2013
    • CBS

    Walden goes on a date with an accident-prone model; Alan's date reveals surprising personal information.

  • S11E10 On Vodka, On Soda, On Blender, On Mixer!

    • December 12, 2013
    • CBS

    Jake sends Alan a Japanese delicacy; the house comes alive with questionable Christmas lyrics.

  • S11E11 Tazed In the Lady Nuts

    • January 2, 2014
    • CBS

    Walden teams up with a beautiful former employee (Odette Annable) on a new project; Alan gives Jenny advice about her girlfriend (Aly Michalka).

  • S11E12 Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.

    • January 9, 2014
    • CBS

    Lyndsey's boyfriend sets Alan up on a date; Walden wants to help Nicole with her project so she will have time to date him.

  • S11E13 Bite Me, Supreme Court

    • January 30, 2014
    • CBS

    Marty Pepper (Carl Reiner) proposes to Evelyn; Alan and Walden plan a bachelor party for Marty.

  • S11E14 Three Fingers of Creme De Menthe

    • February 6, 2014
    • CBS

    Alan finds out that Lyndsey broke up with Larry without telling him; Walden tries to prove he is a man's man.

  • S11E15 Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin

    • February 27, 2014
    • CBS

    Alan asks Lyndsey to choose between him and Larry; Jenny worries that she and Brooke are growing apart.

  • S11E16 How to Get Rid of Alan Harper

    • March 6, 2014
    • CBS

    Walden thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him; Alan starts dating Larry's sister, Gretchen (Kimberly Williams-Paisley).

  • S11E17 Welcome Home, Jake

    • March 13, 2014
    • CBS

    Lyndsey finds out about Alan's relationship with Gretchen; Walden has a difficult time telling Barry to find his own place.

  • S11E18 West Side Story

    • April 3, 2014
    • CBS

    Walden's ex-girlfriend invites him to her boutique opening; Gretchen hopes to spend more time at Alan's home.

  • S11E19 Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang

    • April 10, 2014
    • CBS

    After reconnecting with Kate, Walden becomes convinced she is the one for him -- until he meets a woman named Vivian (Mila Kunis).

  • S11E20 Lotta Delis In Little Armenia

    • April 24, 2014
    • CBS

    Alan finds an opportunity to make money; Walden addresses his co-dependency issues.

  • S11E21 Dial 1-900-Mix-a-Lot

    • May 1, 2014
    • CBS

    Gretchen insists that Alan reveal his true identity to Larry; Walden, Barry and Jenny go on a road trip.

  • S11E22 Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead

    • May 8, 2014
    • CBS

    Alan must face the consequences after revealing his identity to Larry.

Season 12

  • S12E01 The Ol' Mexican Spinach

    • October 30, 2014
    • CBS

    Following a health scare on Halloween, Walden decides to reprioritize his life with Alan's help.

  • S12E02 A Chic Bar in Ibiza

    • November 6, 2014
    • CBS

    When Walden asks Alan to sign a pre-nup, Alan gets offended and has second thoughts about getting married.

  • S12E03 Glamping in a Yurt

    • November 13, 2014
    • CBS

    Alan and Walden have a meeting with an adoption social worker that hinges on them being convincing as a loving couple. Lyndsey returns after 60 days in rehab.

  • S12E04 Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight

    • November 20, 2014
    • CBS

    A birth mother considers having Walden and Alan adopt her baby.

  • S12E05 Oontz, Oontz, Oontz

    • November 27, 2014
    • CBS

    Walden becomes a foster parent to a 6-year-old boy, but worries about himself when they don't hit it off like he hoped.

  • S12E06 Alan Shot a Little Girl

    • December 4, 2014
    • CBS

    Alan breaks Walden's rules when he realizes that Louis thinks he's cool, and he wants it to stay that way.

  • S12E07 Sex with an Animated Ed Asner

    • December 11, 2014
    • CBS

    Alan and Walden befriend three moms at a kids’ gym, but things get complicated when Walden becomes attracted to one of them. Alan goes out for a girls’ night with a group of moms.

  • S12E08 Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey

    • December 18, 2014
    • CBS

    Alan and Walden attempt to convince Louis that Santa Claus is real.

  • S12E09 Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey

    • January 8, 2015
    • CBS

    Walden discovers how challenging it is to be intimate with women when his foster son, Louis, is in the house. Also, Herb asks Alan if he can go on a date with Lyndsey.

  • S12E10 Here I Come, Pants!

    • January 15, 2015
    • CBS

    Alan takes it upon himself to help Walden keep Louis after the social worker discovers he and Walden are not really a gay couple.

  • S12E11 For Whom the Booty Calls

    • January 22, 2015
    • CBS

    Walden joins a group for adoptive fathers, and finds it to be a nice escape from Alan.

  • S12E12 A Beer Battered Rip-Off

    • January 29, 2015
    • CBS

    When Alan breaks up with their social worker to get back together with Lyndsey, Walden worries it will affect Louis’ adoption.

  • S12E13 Boompa Loved His Hookers

    • February 5, 2015
    • CBS

    Walden fears if he breaks up with Ms. McMartin, it will jeopardize his adoption of Louis. Also, Alan hesitates when Lyndsey asks him to move in with her.

  • S12E14 Don’t Give a Monkey a Gun

    • February 12, 2015
    • CBS

    After they sign their divorce papers, Walden offers Alan the gift of his choice, but when Alan chooses something selfish and impractical, it puts his relationship with Lyndsey on the line.

  • S12E15 Of Course He's Dead (1)

    • February 19, 2015
    • CBS

    Charlie Harper is alive. Or is he?

  • S12E16 Of Course He's Dead (2)

    • February 19, 2015
    • CBS

    Charlie Harper is alive. Or is he?